if you have a son of 16 that he is wild and does not like to study and when you talk with him he screams wh?

Question

no matter what you do for him he does not appreciate , what will you do with him ?

Answer 1

He is a teenager - I teach high school students and from what you are describing he is just going through a phase in his emotional development where he is trying to figure out his own identity - you feeling hurt that he doesn't appreciate you isn't going to matter to him that much right now. I am not saying he doesn't care - but he isn't in a place right now. What he needs not is guidance and telling him if he wants to be treated like an adult he needs to act more mature - telling him such things as yelling isn't going to get him what he wants. He is reaching an age where he needs you to be more of an athoratative parent and not an authoritarian parents. If he is having problems and you are trying to be authoritarian he will rebel. However a good line to remember if things really get crazy is that it is still your house.

There is probably alot more to the dynamic between you and your son that I and others would need to know - but dialogue is important - try talking to him like an adult - if that doesn't work - then treat him like a baby he is acting like with his screaming tempertantrums and unwillingness to do his homework.

Answer 2

Bottom line, if he lives in your home and is dependent on you, then he needs to follow your rules, as long as you are not abusing him.

I do not advocate hitting him.

Part of this may be that he is still a teenager. Every teenager exhibits some non-compliant behavior. Some less than desirable traits, at least for a while. But sometimes there is more to it than being a teenager.

You are still responsible for his behavior, however. Get some help from a counselor. Set some boundaries with him. Line out what the consequences are of this screaming and other negative behavior if it continues. Make him give you a urine sample and test it for drugs. I don't think you can just kick him out because he is a minor.

Is there another parent? If there is, you both need to get on the same page. He will exploit any crack in your relationship.

Answer 3

Well, first things first...when did he start acting wild and not studying and screaming? Is this something that just started at the age of 16 or has he been like this since he was a small child?

If this is something that is just now starting then there is a reason behind his actions that needs to be ascertained. For example: maybe he is being bullied at school, maybe he has a crush on a girl and she is ignoring him, maybe he is experimenting with alcohol or drugs, maybe he is just depressed. Is it possible that he has suffered some kind of abuse or trauma?

To fix a problem you have to know what caused the problem in the first place. You need to have a conference with his teachers, his principal and his counselor. Do not email or phone conference. This needs to be a face to face conference. If they are not all available to meet with you at the same time then set up more than one conference. You need to determine if the problem is one that is being created at school.

Next, you need to have him looked over by the family doctor and have him drug tested. If he is screaming at you and refusing to discuss his problem with you then you need to take the upper hand and find out if pills, drugs or alcohol is the problem. Your doctor needs to check for any signs of abuse as well.

Finally, you need to set more rules for him with strict time limits. If he continues to fight you on this you may need to get outside help...from other family members, friends, neighbors, church members or possibly even the law.

Let your son know that screaming is unacceptable and that it is in his best interest to talk with you about his problems.

Answer 4

It is not what will you do with him. It is what you do not do for him. Until he can appreciate what he has, stop giving him any thing, Advise him you will no longer support him beyond a bed to sleep in and a roof over his head, as well he must make the bed, prepare his own meals,do his own laundry, get his own transportation, work for his pocket money,That he no longer has use of phone, TV,any family items like computer, unless he asks permission first. Advise him he is an adult now and must behave as an adult, anything else is not acceptable. And if he does not like these rules he is free to find his own accommodations. So far you have raised a child.Start raising an adult.. You must stick to your rules or he will continue to walk all over you

Answer 5

Try telling him you love him. If there's anything he needs, you want to help him.

Don't judge him.

I was like that at 16. I subsequently became a successful journalist, had a great relationship with my parents, and took my mother flying over the Serengetti in a light plane - the high point of both our lives.

It's natural, but be there for him.

Answer 6

knock the living daylights out of him! my son is 15 and if he ever did that he wouldn't know what hit him!
Don't put up with it. He needs to be taught a lesson. At the end of the day you are the one who provides everything and does everything for him so maybe you should stop and let him fend for himself for a while and see how he likes that!

Answer 7

he is a teenager and all teenagers go through rebelling against their parents. he will grow up hopefully and some what respect you eventually especially if he has a kid to take care of

Answer 8

i am afraid i agree this kind of behaviour comes through the years not at a magical birthday.maybe you have tried to hard to make him happy or like you. we teach people how to treat us! good luck

Answer 9

You should have asked this question long ago, not at 16.

Answer 10

try talking without screams