So, my boyfriend and I have lived together for 6 years. For the first 4 he has had breathing probs but wouldn't go to docs. We have always been big candle fans and have burned them nightly. He says he can't smell anything, so he doesn't care unless I burnt the house down lol. About 2 years ago he was doing some work and inhaled a ton of dust, landing him in hospital. He still says he can't smell anything, but now throws a huge fit and storms out if I light my candles and says it "sets him off" but I can burn them all day, blow them out and toss them in the freezer within 2 minutes of him getting home and he acts normal and fine, so its only when he actually see's the candle burning. He's always had the health issue but now everything we use to do bothers him terribly unless HE wants to do it.
Real deal or is he playing games?
2006-10-01 00:05:15 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
as a side note, like I said, he has ALWAYS had asthma, and he just came home with a load of those crappy smelling plug ins! Geh!
2006-10-01 01:13:46 · update #1
He did start using an inhaler 2 years ago when sent into hospital, its the same type and make of candles we always had (bought a giant batch lot one year)
side note, I work in a candle shop now as well lol.
2006-10-01 01:17:16 · update #2
Yes, this can happen. My 5 year old nephew suddenly developed this when he was 3 or 4. It's not too likely that he's "playing games".
Unfortunately his mother sells candles as a side business.
2006-10-01 00:44:03 · answer #1 · answered by Zana 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is wierd.
i can't smell and have slight ashma so i can tell u what he is doing.
i have had over 30 broken bones and over100 stiches growing up, but there is nothing more frieghtning than not being able to breath. does he use an inhaler? tell him what i am saying, get some candles and light one in another room have him walk in then another day, try a different one. until u find which one bothers him. try to be understanding of his situation. work with him and don't be sneaky, cause what if he had an attack because of one of the candles. and doesn't have an inhaler it could be serious.
the problem is some things set it off and when u can't smell u have no idea what it is. me and my gf loved candles also, but sometimes i would have an attack and we found out it was a certian candle.
here is an metaphor.
lets say u r hearing impaired and walking down a dark street in a some what of a bad nieghbor hood. u would have a harder time detecting an attacker until its to late.
2006-10-01 07:48:18 · answer #2 · answered by jesse james 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Real, I have been here. I also found out that certain high blood pressure meds make this reaction worse, when mine was changed I got better, I can handle some things better now, but hairspray and room deodorants are still bad. I also can handle some candles in moderation. At work if someone walked in with a lot of hairspray I would have to leave the room, some thought it was funny and started doing it on purpose, but it made my eyes burn and made it hard to breath and a tickle in my throat that took a long time to go away. Some times when I knew it was coming or sense it I would panic and leave. In a room where there was smoking going on someone would start spraying room deodorant, this just made it worse. It doesn't take long for a room to become tolerable after there has been candles, other things take longer. Once it mixed in the linings of your airway, it can take up to and hour to get rid of it.
To help you understand what it feels like, imagine having a mouthful of mucus you can't get rid of fast enough, you have a tickle in your throat, and it feels like you are breathing through a small hole in a piece of plastic wrap over your face.
When my problem got worse it seemed to be all of a sudden. It took 20 years to get better. Even candle smoke without perfume will cause problems.
Some think a magic trip to the doctor will make it go away, it doesn't. My ex wife thought I was playing games, that's one reason she is my ex wife.
2006-10-01 07:17:20 · answer #3 · answered by whatshisface 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Real Deal.
He has a medical condition that makes him not be able to breath when he inhales certain things. I have asthma and can't breath in anything really smelly or I can't breath well. Just because his sense of smell doesn't work well doesn't mean he asthma can't be irritated by it. Alot of people have allergy triggered asthma/ meaning if he is allergic to it and has a allergy attack it can bring on the asthma symptoms. Not being able to breath is a life and death thing. Would you want to be the one to send him to the hospital because he can't breath due to candles? Don't take the chance. Candles are pretty but not necessary for you to live. Give up the candles for his sake.
2006-10-01 11:27:27 · answer #4 · answered by smile4u 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's very possible that he has actual medical issues with the candles that your burning. I would suggest trying a different brand of candle before you pass judgement on the guy. Many people that are sensitve to allergies have issues with normal paraffin based candles. Try switching over to burning 100% soy candles. If you can look for some that doesn't have any dye in them either. Or try using soy tarts in a electric tart warmer. This way you don't have any issues with smoke or sooting. Plus you still get the smell that you desire.
2006-10-01 09:46:50 · answer #5 · answered by acidcrap 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The last sentence says it all....EVERYTHING YOU USED TO DO BOTHERS HIM....
Sounds like this has nothing to do with Candles, but the the relationship in general. Good thing you pay attention to detail.
Just like him telling you to blow out the candle, it appears the flame in your relationship is being blown out at the same time. The things you used to do together in the past are things that keep the relationship fun and exciting to you. Now he does not want to do them regularly and is calling the shots on what you TWO do together. Not good.
I think you should talk to him about the relationship as a big picture. Stop focusing on just the CANDLES and talk about some things you can do together that can be fun. Put the spark back in your relationship. Light his FLAME again, because the spark is dimming right now. Sure this is a big task, but as it currently appears to be, your flame (relationship) will be put out if you don't address the big picture.
2006-10-01 09:31:28 · answer #6 · answered by Rock 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe it's all in his mind. He thinks he will get sick so he may actually have symptoms-psychosomatic they call this. And the fact that you do it in front of him makes him feel like you are attacking him-hurting him intentionally!! one day burn candles all day and then toss them in the freezer. When he comes home, after about 20-30 minutes...ask him how he feels. Then tell him what you've done all day and explain to him the possibility and that you are concerned for his health on both the mental and physical levels. Tell him the mind is a powerful thing, and what you expect will happen can actually be created physically. Tell him you love him, and suggest calmly that you see a doctor that can try to test his problem. Smoke isnt usually good for asthmatics though, so prepared for his obvious rebuttal. If worse comes to worse- to save the relatinship, let him have his way on this little thing when he's home. It'l save you guys a lot of argument. Buy blacklights and sexy lightbulbs for the bedroom. Good luck to you both.
2006-10-01 07:55:33 · answer #7 · answered by leah 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask him if it's okay to try different kind of candles out. For example, a soy candle might not irritate him. It's obvious it bothers him, whether it's in his mind or not isn't a judgement call that you will be able to clearly make unless you are an allergist specialist. So, just work with him about it, maybe find candles that won't bother him, or you may not be able to burn them for awhile until he gets his asthma under control.
2006-10-01 07:09:57 · answer #8 · answered by wellbeing 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont recall where I read it, perhaps on the net, but if you are using scented candles it can bring on such an attack. Its something in the perfume, that they use. Try it by using plain candles. Sincerely hope that I helped
2006-10-01 07:09:04 · answer #9 · answered by devora k 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What my oppinion is of the situation is, it scared the living day lights out of him when he enhaled that dust and now he is scared of anything like that happening again.. .which unless we are on that end of not knowing how it felt not to be able to breath we cant fully understand..how he feels.. It very well could be just a head thing.. dunno, im not the one with the asthma to know for sure.. but my oppinion is that it was very tramatic for him when he ended up in the hospital and now he's afraid of taking any chances with it.. besides what do u want, your man to be ok? or a good smelling room? id rather have my man..whether its in his head or not..
2006-10-01 09:07:09 · answer #10 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋