Say you love this guy, you've been going out with forever, you know you love him and he loves you...but say he doesn't treat you so hot, you know? Uh...is very mean to you at times. Makes you feel horrible and stuff, sometimes. And isn't the nicest one should be if they love you all the time.... But when they love you they really really love you and treat you well but it isn't always consistant and i always feel as though i am walking on egg shells. What would you do?
2006-10-01 00:00:18 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like love is a one way street- move on or prepare to take it forever!
2006-10-01 00:06:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lola, I know it's hard when you love someone to really know what to do! Lola love doesn't hurt you. Love is kind, and wonderful, and beatuiful, understanding, and forgiving, however that doesn't mean that love doesn't have it's problems, because we all know that it does! But the problems it has are not repeated problems over and over. You usually work through tha repeated ones, and they soon go away.
Now in your relationship you said you have been going out forever, not knowing how long makes it hard to answer because you have been letting something happen probbuly for awhile now.
Lola listen, when someone loves you they love you all the time and they never should make you feel horrible. If they make you feel horrible maybe it's so he can feel better about treating you bad. Now you know and I know that it doesn't work that way or shouldn't work that way. I think he doesn't know how to deal with his anger, and I think he likes to control you, and that is not right! Then I think when he starts thinking about how bad he has treated you, then he feels bad and feels he needs to love you so much to show you that he does care and that is his way of saying I am sorry! Lola it doesn't work that way! You feel like you are walking on egg shells because you are not sure is today a good day or a bad day for love?
Lola I am sorry but hun you don't deserve any of this and it shouldn't be happening. You have to stand up to him and put a stop to it! If you are scared have a friend there with you when you tell him how you feel. If you have already told him then you nedd to pack your things and leave. I am telling you woman to woman it's not going to get better only worse. You know in your heart what you should do, and now it's time to do it. Yes you will hurt. and cry and want him back but you have to keep moving forward knowing there is someone better out there just waiting to love you like you should be loved. Lola you need to leave now before it really gets out of hand! If you ever need to talk email me, I will talk as long as you need. Everyone on here has told you it's time to move on, they can't all be wrong and you know it. Just do what you know you have to do, it will get worse before it gets better so stick to your guns.
Wishing you the best of luck!
Always Amy
2006-10-01 08:02:43 · answer #2 · answered by heart2heart27958 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The point of a relationship is for 2 people to love and support and make you feel validated in life. If you don't have that then there is a problem. If you feel like you are walking on egg shells all the time then this person IMO is not right for you. They should be accepting of you for who you are and treat you well all the time. After a rotten marriage I thought that all relationships were just like yours and worse. It has taken a very special man (who has a tonne of patience) to teach me that relationships are based on love, trust, honesty, friendship, and support. I never thought I would find someone like him but they do exist. Your guy is out there somewhere. I met mine right here on answers. Good luck.
2006-10-01 07:27:54 · answer #3 · answered by Robyn K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take a look and some notes on his behavioral when he is not nice and when is loving?
If is loving because he is having things his way and do his things
If is mean because you are not doing what he excepts from you
He is a mean controlling manipulator,
If he has no patten and eggs shells and the good doesn't out weigh our the bad, Cut your loses and and move to something
that make you feel like your walking on Air.
2006-10-01 07:23:22 · answer #4 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not be walking on eggshells! That is called fear! There cannot be a relationship if there is fear involved! You may love him, there is nothing wrong with that but it will not work out in the long run! Find another that you will feel comfortable with. You only live life once and you shouldn't be living it in fear of your actions! Experiment with different people there are lots out there and there is no limit to how many you can love! Good luck and please move on! This man does not deserve your affection!
2006-10-01 07:06:48 · answer #5 · answered by colleen3273 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you are in an abusive relationship. Run, get out now. Everything you describe he is doing is on posters in hospitals and counseling offices warning women they are in abusive relationships and if they need help getting out to call a hot line number. My son is the same way to his girlfriend and I keep telling her she can do better and doesn't have to live with the abuse.
Ask yourself this one question. If life with your man were to stay the same for the rest of your life and never ever change is it enough for you? If your answer is no then get out of it quickly and do not look back. Get into a counseling program and work on your self esteem. Spend time with girlfriends, get into a club or hobby group and heal before you involve yourself in another relationship or you will just get the same kind of guy.
Learn to love yourself first, then you can love another.
Blessings to you.
2006-10-01 08:08:53 · answer #6 · answered by USMC-mom 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Am in the same boat as you. It sometimes seems like I'm living with two different person, one loves me and the other just finds ways to upset me!
What I do is scare the bad person away either by crying or by calling it quits etc etc...any unexpected behaviour from me works just fine, but sometimes I just don't feel like playing these games anymore and I really really want to quit, except that it's not so easy to break a marriage.
2006-10-01 07:03:51 · answer #7 · answered by rinah 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loving someone shouldn't be an off and on thing. If he truly loves you he will show you love and respect all the time. There's of course going to be disagreements and misunderstandings, but he should never make you feel small or bad about youself. That is not a healthy relationship.
2006-10-01 13:50:44 · answer #8 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like you are walking on egg shells you don't need to be with him because you can be yourself because you are scare he will get mad.You need someone who love you all the time for you being you.If he makes you feel horrible most of the time it mess up your self stem.Don't love for looks or money love for how he is treating you it all about how he makes you feel.
2006-10-01 12:39:52 · answer #9 · answered by leeleemd1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You run away from this man as fast as u can.. reason i say this is because i was once with a man like this as well.. i call it the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide syndrom.. and hun im telling u, Mr. Hide only gets worse and Dr. Jekyll shows up less and less..
My bf would treat me like dirt, mentally abuse me, physically abuse me id get so upset i would literally get sick to my stomach and be crying and throwing up and he still would keep yelling at me and it could be over something as stupid as breaking a glass or something.. then after he was finished on his tirade he'd settle down and be as sweet as he possibly could be to me.. he'd say he didnt mean all those mean things he said, he'd bring me flowers, he'd say all kinds of mushy stuff to me, and things would be good for a bit then boom something would set him off again..
Every day my stomach got tied up in knots not knowing what kind of mood he'd be in when he got home, and worried if anything upset him that he'd take it out on me..
One day we were joking around about how much he cusses, just when he's talking normal.. told him i bet he couldnt go 3 minutes with out saying a cuss word.. and before his 3 minutes were up, i said "See i told u , u couldnt" and what went from joking around and poking fun at each other, turned into a nightmare .. If i ran for the phone he'd yank it from the socket.. if i ran for the door he'd beat me there.. if i wanted to leave he'd get to the car first.. he'd threaten to slice my tires.. ect..
I know ur torn, but hun what he's doing to u is not love, and i sware to u , U CANT FIX HIM.. and IT ONLY GETS MUCH WORSE.. the more he think he has u the worse he will get.. if u get pg by him, or if u marry him.. then he's going to feel like he has u trapped and you'll be living in constant fear of him and thats not love, and thats not life..
Please get out before u have to learn the hard way.. if he really loves u, he will go get help in order to try and get u back, but he'll never do it with u with him..
2006-10-01 09:16:51 · answer #10 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you think? I'm pretty sure you know the answer and don't need to ask a bunch of complete strangers.
Just in case you don't... leave him. Being nice most of the time doesn't make up for being mean.
I don't always treat my wife as nice as she deserves to be treated, and frankly, I'm amazed she's still with me. If it were the opposite, I'd definately be gone. So, yeah, get rid of him.
2006-10-01 07:03:01 · answer #11 · answered by iswd1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋