Can my ex-husband's girlfriend put my children on her insurance?

Question

My ex-husband and his girlfriend (and her children) recently moved in together. He and I have joint custody of our 2 children. They're with him during the week due to school. He carries their medical/dental insurance, but she added them to her policy and takes them to the doctor if they get sick. She even signs authorizations for treatment. Since they're not married, is this legal? No one tells me they're sick or injured until I find out later and ask about it. My kids are teenagers but have been told not to give me any information. They've become disrespectful and tell me they don't want to spend time with me anymore. They're calling her "mom" now. I don't have the money to fight him in court. No matter what I say or do, it's not right in their opinion. I try not to say anything bad about them in front of the kids, but I'm being pushed out of my kids lives and it's breaking my heart...any suggestions?

We have a joint custodial conservatorship. The kids have the option to live where they want. I'm a single mom living in a 3-bedroom apartment. He has a big house with a pool. I call daily and encourage them to visit often (trying not to be pushy or demanding). I don't allow them to disrespect me, and I make them do chores. At his house, they're hardly disciplined, my daughter is allowed to dress provocatively, and they recently got her a cell phone, and my son a new car...I can't compete with all that. I'm trying to do the right thing for my children, but I can't do it by myself...

Answer 1

Seems YOU have problems! If he has given her authority, and her employer allows it they can be added to her insurance and she can take them for medical care (same authority commonly given to babysitters) This is a good thing in that they have medical care! Because they are teenagers there would be no need to fight for them in court, they have the right of choice. It is good that your ex has moved on, and that your children are happy in the enviroment that is provided-BTW sounds like the decision to call her "MOM" is theirs! From your statements I understand why the children were told not to give you any information!
YOU need help in order to move on with your life! When you move on your children will return!

Answer 2

She isn't the custodial parent even if they are staying where she does. She absolutely shouldn't have a say in medical decisions. Especially if an accident occurs. What if you were against the use of blood or against organ doning or God forbid had to make the life & death decision of "pulling the plug". SHE shouldn't have the right to make that decision. If your husband takes them to the doctor then that's one thing but technically she shouldn't. Yet at the same time in order for her to have insurance on them she has to be paying the premiums. If you get ahold of the doctor they are seeing you could call them and tell them that she doesn't have a legal right to authorize care. You could also contact her business office at the job and tell them that they are paying on claims for dependents that aren't legally hers. This could get the ball rolling. You could demand the info you then seek. However, at least she takes them to the doctor and perhaps she is consulting with your husband regarding the care.
Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.

I have a similar situation in that I have taken in a teenage girl who iis not quite 18. I am not permitted to even make an appointment for her much less actually take her to the doctor. This is all very frustrating because her mother who does have the legal right often neglects her obligation to do so. When she is 18 she will be able to make her own appts. and at least I can then pay for it. I hate it when she is ill and there isn't a thing I can do and the mom is so busy trying to prove a point that she allows her daughter to suffer which is one of the reasons we allowed her to move in.
Your in a Tough spot. I feel bad for you. Teenagers can be so pig headed.

Answer 3

The only weay you can be pushed out is if you are a bad mother. Your situation sounds similar to mine many moons ago. This was like 15 years ago for me. Yes she can put them on her insurance and sign for them, if your Ex has givien her power of attorney regardless of how you feel about it. The difference in my story is that I never ever called her mom. Step mom is the closest I've come, but my sister does, and I'll tell you why...My mother is a horrible ***** who verbally and physically abused us, as well as convinced us of horrible falsehoods such as if it weren't for us her and our dad would still be together. It is this behavior that allowed my stepmom to come in and hold a high place in our lives. Children need positive parent figures and the mother being the most important. The only way you could ever be replaced is if you are not meeting your childrens emotional needs. I encourage you to take a serious look at yourself. My mother still plays the victim and will never admit how horrible she was. This keeps a strained relationship between us and her. And our stepmom Laura, is a nice person who has met our emotional needs and admits her faults. At 30 now I appreciate what my stepmom has done for us all these years, and resent our real mother for never stepping up to the plate.
Of course if this isn't the case with you, maybe your kids have alterior motives, or are being coerced. The only way to ever know is to talk to them or your ex in a calm "I feel" manner.

Answer 4

I don't think I did anything or had to prove anything when I put my 2 step children on my insurance. Just went in and added them and the wife. No questions at all. I know some grandparents that just got asked about adding the child and said they live with me now. I even took one of the boys to get his drivers liesen and other than his paperwork that he had I just show my liesen and signed a paper.

Don't know what to tell you but ty and stay friends with the kids and they will come around later.

Answer 5

I feel for you.
But in some states and with some insurance company's if the person who carries the insurance,the girlfriend,can prove that she supports these children 50 percent then yes she can put them on her insurance.All she would need is a Tax return showing her as the tax payer with the kids listed as her dependant.that would prove 50 percent or more of their care comes from her.It is sad that a mothers love can not compete with money.

Answer 6

Fight for your children! No she can not carry them on her insurance, if that was the case then everyone would have insurance. But you have to think who is it going to hurt if she removes them.

I know what you are going thru my ex husband has a girlfriend that doesn't know when to back off. She acts like she is the mother of my children no matter how many times I tell her to back off.

Talk to you ex and tell him how you feel and let your kids know how you feel, they are old enough to understand. Maybe they will include you more in their lives.

Answer 7

it's sad but why didn't you have the children custody?

They feel neglected by you if you don't call them often or show concern. Do the necessary actions and then they will come back to you.

Actions speak louder than words, don't worry about others badmouth you, the truth will be revealed one day. Have patience and have no guilt in your heart.

Answer 8

This is bad news, I agree.

Is your ex the custodial parent? If so, herein lies a problem for you. If not, you can contact Legal Aid services in your city and fight this in court with little or no cost to you. You need legal assistance.

Good luck.

Answer 9

No this is definitely not legal. Your ex does not have sole custodial rights so the authorisation has to come from the both of you. It is odd that she could add two children to her insurance without proof that they are hers.