My parents and may grand parents are not leaving a healthy ideal married life & fighting, arguing goes on since long. They are always in tension & unhappiness mostly. I am afraid will it be happened with me also after marriage.
2006-09-30 22:49:15 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It is not nescessarily the way you will live after marriage or after you spread your wings and become independant.
A big positive for you is that you know and have learnt how not too live your life and what to avoid in order to have reasonable peace and harmony around you .
So take the lessons and advice life has shown you and avoid the trouble you have experienced..use the lessons and advice to conquer your fears.
2006-09-30 23:03:49 · answer #1 · answered by Featherman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I lived in a very abusive home both mental and physical.I made the decision i wasnt going to be like that and prove that all this b/s about why people commit rape and murder because of there chidhood is crap. Thats what it is,Your aware that you dont want a life like your in, thats 90% of the battle. The other is if you find a b/f who yells or raises a hand to you once, thats it period, same goes for a husband or friends. The hard part never ever listen to an excuse for this or im sorry it wont happen again. SURROUND YOURSELF with decent people its just as easy as surrounding yourself with drunks (not talking about everybody that drinks) and people who are mad at the world. Live life through your eyes and mind not others help me prove that people from screwed up chidhoods dont have an excuse to stay screwed up. Dont let anyone take you off your path no matter how much you think you love them no matter how much they beg.This is about your saftey and happyness not anyone elses. HAVE A GREAT LIFE!
2006-10-01 07:01:53 · answer #2 · answered by saturn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are always two sides to everything good and bad goes hand in gloves dont get scared and inflict fear factor in yourself. Try to analyse the cause, reason for disagreement which results in fights. It could be ego problems, could be misunderstanding, could be unmatching tastes and so many others. If you could find out the root cause you could be also be of some help in difusing the tension. Dont give into helplesness creating tension. Remember there is a way where there is will! It could also be of some help in your own future life!
2006-10-01 06:18:59 · answer #3 · answered by nadkarni_chaitanya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From your version, it indicates a desire to avoid teh unpleasnt scenes which happen at your home. Thsi desire will help you to have a peaceful life. Tell your elders not to fight in your presence. They should listen, if they conseider you as inporatnt to them. If not, move away to a corner or room in your home and lsiten to some good music or devotional albums. If required you can take the help of few of your close family friends or relatives whom your parents also respect. By all means, you should not allow these incidents to affect you. Concentrate on your studies or other occupation. You shall have a bright future, as you got maturity. When ever there is fight with anyone, better to keep silent. It is golden quality. The greatest quality is to remain silent, even when you are right, if it is going help you to avoid complications/problems.
2006-10-04 04:58:46 · answer #4 · answered by SGraja 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These fears are baseless.
Marriage requires just a deep acceptance of atleast one person to sustain. If both accept each other, then it is bliss from day one.
Even if one accepts, the other person, totally, as he/she is, then , over a period of time, the other person would eventually come to terms, and it can do well in a very short time. This acceptance does not restrict or impose any action needed to be done in an outside situation. In fact out of acceptation (non-expectation) there will be a sensible action, instead of mere reaction everytime out of non-acceptance !
Tension and unhappiness comes out of not meeting the expectations. Expectations do not necessarily come true due to unrealistic ambitions, hopes etc.
2006-10-01 07:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by Spiritualseeker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Megha,
Do not abhor,it may cause you sickness.
For sure your family do something wrong that cause struggles and tensions but I do not know what are those wrong manners due to unfamiliarity with your family.
So you can ask a specialist or an experienced older friend to help you to find out your family's faults then you do not do what they do.Just think about a bright future in your life and live with this positive thought. Do not let that this subject craze you.Obsession sometimes cause bad things,Do not think about that.
Wish you a great marriage and a greater life.
Best regards............Iranian Bobby
2006-10-01 07:17:02 · answer #6 · answered by Bobby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it doesn't mean this will happen to you after marriage, for one thing you have noticed how unhappy your grandparents and parents seem to be (although I don't believe they are unhappy) and you will do all you can, to avoid situations that will make you unhappy in your marriage...You must remember though, you are going to have arguments and fights in your marriage, it is only natural.. People DO NOT always agree... This does not mean they are unhappy...Think of it as a heated debate...
2006-10-01 06:53:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
environment, education, experience does have influence in ones life. But as a human being we have the right to decision. If you decide that you are going to be your parents way then its finished, even if you fear. Dont surrender rather make positive shifts in your life and decide today you will lead a life that you desire. Remember a David Blaine's quote "The only way to face a fear is to challenge it right on to its face" Declare you independence today, right now. And believe the more the tougher challenges you face the most the tough you will be and the faster is your growth in life. Your curiosity to fight the unwanted and concentrate on the wants and musts will increase. Believe God, believe yourself, believe trustworthy people.
2006-10-01 07:20:26 · answer #8 · answered by vlikeme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just for you:
Plz do not bother about the past !
Your parents may did good may not did good - forget it. And your parents still want you to continue the fighting what they were doing? leave it.
Now you are a new generation, think of new things...new life... forget the old fightings... to whom they fight...for what they fight...even they are not sure... - forget, go for new.. if you want leave that place...if not possible continue in the same place with a courage that you will not fight at any time... manage things in a different way...ofcause there are chances of fight when you live in the same place, but don't care it... again telling you to forget it...
Best of Luck
2006-10-01 06:27:35 · answer #9 · answered by SA-bic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are giving and forgiving, this will not happen to you.
You have nothing to fear, if you follow the golden rules.
See no evil, say no evil, do no evil and think no evil.
PS
I saw your other Q, also, it may help if you show this to your parents, and gran parents this both Q and A. Some people do not realise what they are doing to each other until it is too late in this respect life is very short.
2006-10-01 21:18:52 · answer #10 · answered by minootoo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋