you found a nasty porn magazine in his car and paystubs showing that he made more monry than he brought home and was alway's lieing to you?This just happend to me I am so mad I don't know if I can get passed this I went in to the room and just beat his *** I am so hurt we have two little girl's togther,I just want to know how you would feel?
2006-09-30 22:01:21 · 32 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband knew from the very begining I would never be ok with porn he said he did not want things like that to me it is nasty and I can not deal with it,Keep in mind also I am still in good shape and keep myself up alway's he on the other hand has not I never deny him sexual and will please him so I do not know why he would do this.
2006-09-30 22:13:52 · update #1
Well i wouldnt leave him.. i wouldnt forgive him either.. as i too believe porn has no place in a marraige.. so now u need to use ur brain and come up with a way of getting ur point accrossed to him to where he wont do this again.. perhaps stop being the dutiful wife for awhile, just do for u and ur kids, and make him fend for himself.. sleep on the couch, and when he wonders whats going on, let him know that u dont feel comfortable playing wife to a man that needs to look at porn and lie.. that u feel he has breached ur marriage vows, that ur very hurt.. and untill he can prove to be the man that u married.. that ur just not going to be the wife that he married... why should u give , give , and give, and him just take , take , and take??? u have 2 beautiful girls that need both of their parents, but if u cave easily he will just do it again.. somewhere down the road when he thinks he can get away with it.. let him know how badly this bothers u.. let him know that u wont put up with it.. that if he wants to look at porn and lie and act like a single man.. then for him to go and be single.. but u refuse to be a part of a marriage with him if he is going to Dishonor , Disrespect, and NOT forsake all others like in the wedding vows he took.. it didnt say Forsake all others EXCEPT for chicks in porn mags.. there were no exceptions to the rule..
If u forgive and forget with out making him see the consequences of his actions, then he will do this again..
2006-09-30 23:11:16 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there,
No, these are unforgivable actions. But before you go on an avenging spree and rock the boat too hard, I would suggest that you introspect.
Has your husband been behaving odd, lately? Is it that you are too engrossed in bringing up your two little daughters, that you don't find the time to attend to him? Have you been neglecting him?
Perhaps you could try understanding the work that he does. Is he a businessman, or an employee? If he is self-employed, you could try to take more attention in his business and see how you could be of help. If he is an employee, his working hours and income are going to be fixed, anyway. (Unless there is overtime / incentives involved.)
A man usually looks for alternatives if he is not getting it at home. I am not being parochial or biased, and roving-eye casanovas exist, whatever be the intensity of the wife's love. My advice is to see whether you can rectify the situation with a cool head before jumping to any conclusions and decisions.
All the best to you.
2006-09-30 22:21:04 · answer #2 · answered by ssjagrawal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly what is wrong with that. he's cheating on you with a magazine ? he's relieving stress the one way men feel is the best. it's not like you caught him with another woman, it's a magazine for ****** sake. as for the money issue, how do you know he hasn't been putting it away for later. who cares if he spends a little of his hard earned money. it's not like he's getting his hair done for $25-50 or manicures and pedicures. so he likes a little spending money. give the man a break. you need to rethink things, i seriously don't understand why women get so upset when they discover thier husbands looking at porn.
i am happily married and my wife is mature enough to understand that she can not satisfy me everyday of her life and understands that once in awhile i would rather forgoe the long drawn out romantic spooning and cuddling for love and would prefer to just get it over with a magazine in 5 minutes locked in the bathroom. and besides there are those nights that she's just too tired. well it works out for the both of us.
i also agree that should not have been lying to you. that is a reason to be upset.
2006-09-30 22:11:33 · answer #3 · answered by locowherto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You certainly have a right to be mad. Porno mags are normal, but you have kids and such.
Sit down with him and an independent third party, someone who knows you both equally well. Air it all out, both sides, maybe he has a reasonable answer, is saving the money on the side for a new wedding ring or something, or has a college fund for the kids. Don't jump to conclusions. But don;'t look the other way either, good luck!
2006-09-30 22:08:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would feel hurt and betrayed but i would also be asking myself why? Where is the extra money going? and why there is the problem you have right now. this may be fixable, he may not ave been unfaithful but rather he may have a sexual need to fulfill that you are unaware of that when you know, you can fulfill for him. Don't be too hasty to judge he may be embarrassed to tell you but nothing more. there is no evidence of another woman in your statement so talk to him rather than beat the crap out of him. If then you find he has been unfaithful then carry on and give him one up the side of the head for me LOL
2006-09-30 22:06:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
About the porn, of course not. I'd be a bit hurt that he felt the need to hide it from me.
As for the money, I'd be angry that he needed to lie about it and I would confront him. I would want to know why, when you share a life and a family, that he is hiding money and, more importantly, what he is doing with it.
You might find out that he has a gambling habit or something which he will need your help with.
2006-09-30 22:04:44 · answer #6 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would forgive him for things: 1. Your family
2. Yourself
The ONLY reason I could not forgive is if he had sex with another woman, all though this behavior may mean that he is leading his course that way. Have u heard of the saying: U dont know what u have until its gone? REMIND HIM of this. If he keeps on like this, its going to destroy his family. He cant have it his way ONLY becuz he is messing with UR INTEGRITY.... So I understand,.... if u dont do it, why should he? The answer is: He shouldnt! Its not right! Make sure he knows it!
2006-09-30 22:20:35 · answer #7 · answered by Photographer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be mad at the fact that he LIED about anything at all. Afterall, a good relationship is based on trust and honesty and if he's going to lie even about a little thing, what else is he going to lie about in the future?
2006-09-30 22:07:38 · answer #8 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would seriously try and talk things out with him and find out why he felt the need for this and why he felt the need to lie to you about it. But if you really want to make your marriage work and the two of you can't seem to work things out on your own, then I would seriously consider going to marriage counseling. If that doesn't work, then you have to look at the facts and decide if you would be happier out of the marriage. Good luck
2006-09-30 22:09:23 · answer #9 · answered by Shadowtwinchaos 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody has thier own sexual prefences. He shouldn't have to give this up as long as you are having a healthy sexual relationship. As far as the money goes....to many people hand over thier check to thier mate. These things should be done together.
2006-09-30 22:49:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋