what should i do so that my elder son studies properly?

Question

He is 14 years of age and is studying in 9th standard in St. Stephen's School, Chandigarh.

He was doing very well earlier but for the about three years, he has become very weak in studies and nowdays, he has no interest in studies. Instead, he is now more interested in watching TV rather than doing his school work.

Answer 1

i usually study n watching tv at the same time n im doing well in exam! maybe u should tell him about the importance of study n let him realize the importance of study for his future!

Answer 2

This is not unusual at his age. Fourteen is such a transitional time. Also, is it possible he is either A) not being challenged enough ? , or B) feeling overwhelmed in either the amount of studies, homework or difficulty of the material ? Or possibly could there be some personality conflicts with either teachers and / or peers? I would try to take time with him at least twice a week, that was completely uninterrupted, and try to communicate with him as to how his school and social life is going. Also, have there been any big lifestyle adjustments at home? I also would not make too much of a fuss over it, and give him some time to get back on track. Please, let me know how it is going. My son at that age had two to three years of what I felt was underachieving, and went on to make National Honor Society and Who's Who Among American High School Students, among other things, Now he is in U.S.F. , it just took some time for him to adjust, and some sleepless nights on my part ! Keep me posted , I would love to hear from you again. Sincerely, Jacqueline Nicholetta

Answer 3

Hi this is mohammed,

This problem occurs in nearly 90% of chlidren of this age. Parents should think that they have also gone through this stage. Parents has to be friends instead of Father or Mother they should ask his problems and look into his activities. There are many reasons of not having intrest in studies may be he is not intrested in studies because he feels maths or scienece or other subjects boring at this time parents should take their child to a good teacher who not only explains him the subject but he should clarify his doubts, enthough they are silly. There might be some problems in his class you have to ask him meet his teacher and his friends and get details and one common problem is that he might be in love eventhough he does't know the meaning of love. Parents should treat their children as friends at this stage they should be free in exchanging thoughts they should make their children involved in family discussions or any other activities and make them realise that they have grownup and make them realise that studies are how improtant for a person you should show examples and reward them when they are studying good tell them that you will buy them a new computer a motorcycle or other items.

I hope that a little part of you question is answered by my side.
Be a friend of you child instead of parent at this stage.

Answer 4

First of all, dont get stressed out and dont get all heavy handed with your son. There could be several reasons for the drop in marks. Find out if the study load is getting to be too much for him. He may require special coaching/tuitions after school to help him cope.
Is he under pressure in school/at home? How are his teachers?
How is his friends circle? Children at this age usually like to be like other children in their friends circle. If the other children in his group are average performers, then chances are he will want to be like them and not look like a nerd.
Watching a lot of tv is a sign of wanting to escape from reality. Its a symptom not the problem. Talk to your son, try and figure out the problem. I am sure things will work out. All the best.

Answer 5

First, you set your mind calm esp. for your son's case.

This is the practice of most of the children when they reach 14-17 yrs.

Be with him and help him take him to some places/something he like and make his mind happy, etc.

Just deal with it - let some elder people from your family/friend to explain him what happens if not concentrate in study...

He will be ok in coming years... or after 22-23 yrs... be calm. do not worry dear...

Answer 6

At the age of 14 it is very difficult to extract any meaningful obedience !
So, it would be better to try to really deserve his trust first (AT HIS TERMS... a compromise needed due to priorities), and then befriend him, and suggestively advice him. This sounds to be a too submissive and roundabout way, but the results would be really long lasting, and would forge a deep bond !

Answer 7

When television was standing in the way of my studies, my parents sold the television. When working was getting in the way, they called my employer and told him I was no longer permitted to work until my grades improved. They took away my phone privileges and grounded me until my grades came up. I hated it then, but it probably saved my future. You won't always be popular when you're a GOOD parent, but you'll be appreciated later, when it matters. It's truly amazing how brilliant my parents became between the time I was 14 and the time I was 24. Do your boy a favor and follow their example.

Answer 8

if u r really concerned about his studies. i think he is bored of reading books.Buy him a CD for a subject.this really makes interesting study.he will learn more,understand &remember more.well i got this idea because we have computers in schools and we are shown about a topic in the class. this really helps memorizing

Answer 9

There is no substitute for you setting a good example!
Talk is cheap; we have to walk the walk. WE have to be studious, spend more time with the son helping him when he comes for help, and create an atmosphere at home conducive for studies.
Do you have all this, my dear Sir?

Answer 10

BE PATIENT,DO NOT DWELL ON JUST THE SCHOOLWORK. BE THERE FOR HIM,WHICH IS DIFFICULT FOR A TEENAGER PLAYING THE "AVOID MY PARENTS GAME".
DO SIMPLE FUN THINGS,GIVE HIM AN INSTRUMENT AS A GIFT,GET TO REALLY KNOW HIM. BE A PART OF HIS LIFE IN EVERYTHING BUT SCHOOLWORK AT FIRST.
DO NOT DWELL ON JUST THAT ISSUE OR BE TOO SERIOUS. GO TO SPORTING EVENTS,SOMETHING OTHER THAN BEING OVERBEARING.
REMEMBER ITS ABOUT HIM AND NOT YOU.
BE PATIENT