We been together for 10yrs & he is not getting any better. He have bad habits & alway being around his friends. I used to try to make things work only because we have 2 daughters together. My 5yr old is very smart so everytime we get at it she would cry & tell me how she wants everyone 2 live together & how it is not a family without everyone. We try not to argue in front of them but she can read us & i don't know how i can make her happy & myself happy. After trying everything i just want to give this up. I refuse to seek counsling. He is not there 4 us when we need him. I am to the point where i am done but i don't know how. I want him out of the house but he will not leave. Everytime i talk 2 him about divorce he screams & say go ahead but everytime i fill the papers out he would rip them up. He would throw things when he gets mad. I tried talking, screaming, threatening him & even give him the silent treatment but none of it works. Can someone give me some good advise please
2006-09-30 20:03:05 · 21 answers · asked by smartie2828 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think, if he doesn't or refuses to leave the house, then you go take the kids and find an apartment. I don't know what your situation is who's house is it or if everything is joint, but to avoid anymore conflict save some money up to get yourself a place and leave his ***!!!!! It is so hard with the kids, it's like you want to try to make it work because of them, but sometimes it's the best thing, for you and the kids.
2006-09-30 20:10:44 · answer #1 · answered by lugomlg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah..out of the mouth of babes! It's amazing what children can comprehend when it comes to truth.
Why do you feel the need to "chase him away?" If you are not willing to attend marriage counseling out of spite, I say sign on the dotted line. Depending on the state or country you live in, you do not need his consent to proceed with a divorce. The child custody issue is another matter.
The fact that he screams and tears up the papers whispers the fact that he doesn't want the divorce.
You have some questions to ask youself:
1. Do you love this man?
2. Is he a good father and husband?
3. Are you the best wife you can be for him?
4. Why do you refuse marriage counseling?
5. Is there another man involved?
6. Is there another woman involved (with your husband)?
You are not going to be able to make yourself nor your children happy until you can find happiness; whether with your husband or without him.
Talking is good; screaming and threatening is never good. Stop making threats and start making promises...and follow through on them if this is how you really feel. End the agony of your daily lives. The children don't deserve this.
You are a grown woman...make a decision. Go to marriage counseling. Unless you really are looking for an "out." Is he open to marriage counseling? You really should give it a try.
Either way, good luck to you and the little ones.
Nite
2006-09-30 20:20:16 · answer #2 · answered by niteowl716 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I still think you guys should take some counseling. If you still refuse would take a day off work and find a apartment and get all your things in order. pick the kids up from school that day and stay at the apartment. Have a note saying your feelings. Don't get mad in the letter just tell him what you are feeling. Tell him in the letter if he is ready to talk he can call you but the moment he raises his voice you will hang up the phone. Make sure you right in there about the children, how they feel and so forth. Hope that helps.
2006-10-01 01:50:33 · answer #3 · answered by Lori K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through a similar situation I am not married but I have been with my man for 13 yrs and I am fed up 2. We also have two kids the oldest 6 is my adopted niece and our daughter will be one on fri. I would say if he won't leave then you should leave i know it's not fair. but what else are you to do. I am miserable also and on top of it we are broke and I mean broke. I can't even pay rent I am with out a car we are out of food and he does not have a job. I know how you feel and it's up to us to make that move. I have been telling him for weeks get it together or I'm outta here but I ask what am i waiting for. It's hard to let go. Do what is best for you and your babies. The fighting will get worse and the kids don't need to see that. I love him and always will but I am falling out of love with him and he can't even support us. I am not sure of your financial situation but if your able to leave for a while and see what happens most men think we cannot survive w/out them. I wish you the best of luck, God Bless You!
2006-09-30 20:37:28 · answer #4 · answered by Dawnie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You haven't tried everything. You refuse counseling and sound like a nag. It's his home too. If you can't take it, maybe you should leave. If you were serious about the divorce, you wouldn't need his approval to file. Just do it, or he will eventually get tired of being told to get out of his home and he will leave Just be careful what you ask for. You might get it. .
2006-09-30 20:26:29 · answer #5 · answered by Barbwired 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are in very terrible situation.if you are financially independent you can move out without any worry because even after having kids he didn't improve that mean he will never change. this man maybe is living for his happiness .he has no feeling for wife or children .its better to leave him, but before leaving him you should seriously say like this is the limit, my last warning.so,that he can understand its really serious.or maybe u can try like living with your parents for few days.let him suffer for few days.i think this is the last thing you can you.i wish i could help you.
2006-10-01 07:10:35 · answer #6 · answered by simplewife20 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could but you don't want it...
Otherwise you would TALK TO A COUNSELOR!
Why do you refuse? What is your payoff for staying miserable in this miserable relationship? What do you have against improving your relationship? Are you one of those girls that just whines and cries but never actually does anything to make it better? Have you always taken the victim role in all your life callings?
Your children DESERVE to have a happy home and its your responsiblity to explore every avenue to make it such.
2006-09-30 20:10:37 · answer #7 · answered by Ponderpink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're thinking about him way too much. Try thinking about your children. If you really wanted out that bad, you would leave him and file for divorce!
2006-09-30 20:17:44 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just talk with u r parents and if they are willing to stay with u in what ever circumstances,then proceed judicially and get divorce and get marraiage to a person who could understand u and can take care of u r children and can share love to u r children.
2006-10-01 00:13:07 · answer #9 · answered by chowdary c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The long story short if you think it is impossible to stay with him, plan the future and leave him or get professional help
2006-09-30 20:13:23 · answer #10 · answered by qdrama1956 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋