I have been with this man for 13yrs, I met him when I was 16. We had a many great years but at the same time we did alot to hurt each other and i had always said we did this because we met so young neither one of us really got all the experiences most people did, but this was our choice and in the end we got through it. About two years ago we were going through a rough time but amazilgly it brought us closer together and I found out I was pregnant we were so happy and fell in love all over again. Our daughter was born on 10/6/05 it was an amazing experience and to see the way he was with me and the baby it touched my heart. We also have a 6yr old daughter that is my neice that we adopted when she was 2. We seemed to be a happy family. Unfortunatley, lately I don't know what's going on with him he was laid off 4mts ago and still has no job, we are struggling terribly bad financially I am trying to cover all of the bills and I am about to snap and that's not all he has been lying..
2006-09-30 19:36:29 · 7 answers · asked by Dawnie 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
and spending money that we do not have and then does not tell me about it. I know he is not cheating, I just feel that our relationship is over he says he still loves me and wants things to work but I have to worry about my babies. We don't have rent, our car broke down and I can't afford to get ti fixed, we are out of food and I feel like I am the one always fixing everything. I think there might be a chance that my dad would let me move in with him but it means without him my dad does not like my boyfriend which I can't blame him they have some history and my dad just wants to see him get it togehter. I would be crazy to not accept this offer right? It means losing the man I love but gaining my independence back and giving my kids what they deserve. For some reason I am scared and not sure if I am ready to let go. Its a big deal and we have so much history plus I hate taking the kids away from their daddy. Please help andy advice or stories of your experiences would help.
2006-09-30 19:42:48 · update #1
I should add that I have already fully explained to him exactly how I feel and what I need from him for our relationship to survive. I have already stated that I have been thinking about leaving for weeks now and I am still holding on things will be ok for a couple of days then smack he does something completly stupid for instance yesterday I get a call from this liquor store saying they need a new ck cause it has my name w/ his signature. He never told me he wrote a ck to the store so I would be workin my butt off to cover bills we have no food but hes writing a $50 check for beer and cigatettes and hides and lies to me about it. I find this completely unacceptable. I don't even know how I am going to cover this ck I have no money. Plus it's just getting worse he may be depressed but imagine how I feel I have to take care of everything. I feel he should do everything in his power to help his family and he is not. We are seriously bad financially I have no idea how to fix it!
2006-09-30 20:10:33 · update #2
I have no personal experience as i am so young....well I believe that you can always make it work somehow and it will hurt your children terribly if you call it quits and years later your children ask "what happened to daddy?" you have to be able to tell them that I tried everything i possibly could to make it work but in the end it fell apart. Ummm...about your financial status you will probably not be able to afford counseling so do it yourself. Sit yourself down with him and seriously talk about what you feel and what you need from him. If he truely loves you he will do whatever it takes to get you guys back on track, you will probably even get to know what he feels about it. He will be devastated having to know that he will be taken away from your kids, I say don't give up and communication is always the answer.
Goodluck and follow your heart!
2006-09-30 19:54:30 · answer #1 · answered by Spastic girl! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude not a person on the planet wants to be in your shoes. Your every too more youthful to be having however. Well you could nonetheless she is option to younger. She has additionally been choice to sexually lively for her age.. I'd in no way inform her to have an abortion however she are not able to hold the little one despite the fact that it is yours. There are such a lot of men and women in the market that are not able to have their own youngsters which might be able to adopt. Provide your unborn child the quality gift that you can. A best residing with a high-quality family that as an alternative wishes this little one. You each would have lots of time to mature and be ready for the dedication of parenting. Believe me after I let you know, you're now not ready for that at your a even as. Its a rough one and it sounds such as you especially do love this woman. Help her the first-rate which you'll be able to via this complicated time and make her realise its not that you don't wish to proportion this enjoy at the side of her however make her comprehend that adoption is the quality choice for either one of you.
2016-08-29 09:49:32 · answer #2 · answered by alienello 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dawnie,listen to me carefully...If you have posted this just to know what others think of your problem and wanna find out a solution for some theoretical problem like this,You are absolutely crazy and never do that again,because what goes around comes around back to you.
And now,coming to your situation.You say that You love him very much.And you have been doing the same for the past 13 years and I believe that it will go on until you breathe ur last.Your man is what you have made up all these years.He is an investment Dawnie.Do not let him go.All he needs is a little bit of time and support from ur side.When all the world has lost hope on him,you,his soul mate shud accept and give him the strength to cope up with the situation that you ppl r facing now.
Afford a meal with him.You take him outside just for a change.Walk along the beach or in a park hand in hand.Do discuss whats going on in ur mind.But,do not let him get the hint that you r trying to desert him by going to ur dad.Do not make him feel insecure or incompetent.Ask him what he had been doing all the while when u ppl were starving,but in a smooth tone(No harsh words here).Tell him what u r thinking on how to get out of this situation.Console him,ask him if he has got any probs which he is unable to share.
Remember Dawnie,When u r in a situation like this,all you need to do is maintain ur persona,I know its easy to say but hard to implement.But,its ur life and this is the time which carves the true love into a stronger bond than ever.Soothe him,make affectionate love to him,let him know that you still have lots of trust on him,remind his duties as a father of two kids.At last,try to give him loads and loads of encouragement by quoting the earlier situations in which he had done well.Say that You love him and that you believe in his potential.
No man can put on a deaf ear to these kinda words.Spell them correctly and you will observe the magic again in ur lives.
All the Best,Dawnie.Wholeheartedly..........Suneel.
2006-09-30 19:58:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You do not leave someone because things get rough, he needs you now more than ever, I am sure he is depressed from loosing his job, I would suggest you and him seek counseling, most churches have counselors that you can talk to for free, and they will refer you if needed. But don't throw away a good thing, stand by his side. If he refuses to go to a counselor go by yourself, you need support, you both have a lot going on but in different ways. Good Luck.
2006-09-30 19:43:49 · answer #4 · answered by whattheheck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs to grow-up and realise hes making it a loosing battle. His life sucks and yes he needs you, but hes also making it harder.... you do need to think of the kids first cause they depend on you more than he does. the quality of their lives is a result from what you do. I understand staying in a that familer place and wanting to make it work. But I was that kid. My parents stuck it out for as long as they could for me and my brothers, and it was hell on everybody. NEVER is it a good idea to stick together for the kids. You stay together for each other and nothing else. Maybe its better if you were to go somewhere else till he gets back on his feet....take care of the kids, while he takes care of himself. Then try to see if its worth working out.
2006-09-30 19:59:01 · answer #5 · answered by Krustybunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've always been attached to all of my ex's. I think about them, reminice about the memories. But that's all it is -- memories -- you know? You dont forget the past, but you move on.
2006-09-30 19:43:53 · answer #6 · answered by MM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you dont want to let it go than atleast try and seek counselling
2006-09-30 19:44:41 · answer #7 · answered by ellie_2121 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋