I belieive my husband is cheating. we have been married for 1 year and been together for 10. we have been seperated for 3 months now and i'm not sure why. he gives me all sort of reasons but i dont beleive them. He still comes around and calls. He gives me money. He tells me all the time that he loves me. I'm not sure what to do about this. He wont admit to it. I work and go to school full time and I have been concentrating on just that and my kids. But it hurts becasue I am suppose to have a life with him and he is not there most of the time. Yesterday he took me to the movies and out to eat. But its just not enough I need him there with me and the kids. I need him to be faithful to me. what Do I do. Just continue like this. I love this man to death but i'm tired of my feelings being played with. So what do you think. am I the only that feels this way. I feel so alone sometimes. I trully need help.
2006-09-30 19:08:39 · 18 answers · asked by prettywomen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
=Yes, you are they only one that feels this way. Move one.
2006-09-30 19:19:13 · answer #1 · answered by sunshinysusan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband wants to have his cake and a little bit of icing on the side. He doesn't want to give you up, yet he misses having the freedom (or options) that he had before you got married. It's unfortunate, but I think that you need to give him some type of ultimatum- as long as you keep allowing his behavior, he's going to keep doing it. He at least owes you the truth so that you can get some closure and not have the additional worry about what he's doing. I'm sure that y'all can work out something so that you can both contribute to your children's lives, even if y'all decide not to be together. If he can't be there in the household as a husband for you, then you should let him go. But stress to him that he can definitely be a father to his children. And, NO you're not the only one that feels alone. I'm not married yet, but I am expecting my boyfriend's child and he's not being very supportive at all. I've cried many times at home alone wondering why he won't come over and check on me or show some type of concern. He just brushes me off continually. I think that some men can't handle the pressure of true responsibility and in order to retain the "freedom" that they think is being taken away from them, they push the responsibility away as much as they can. I think this is true for my boyfriend as well as your husband. Well, one day they'll realize they've messed up after it's TOO LATE!!! Just keep you're head up!!! Things will get better!!! Maybe he will either be truthful with you and say he's not ready for marriage (if that's the case), or he will change his ways and decide to be there for you. Things will get better before you know it! Now if only I could be so positive about my own situation! :)
2006-09-30 19:35:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that he has probably grown out of love and doesnt quite know how to tell you maybe the two of you should sit down and really talk and say exactly how your feeling im thinking that the best thing for you to do ois get divorced the two of you may still end up the best of friends but this is not a healthy situation for you to be in the good thing is tha you are still working and going to school and taking care of your kids just continue to do right by your children and be by yourself if you have to it may hurt a little at first but it wont be nearly as bad as staying in a loveless relationship
and please dont stay in this unhealthy relationship and say its for the kids because even if you dont think so they see things and they can sense when something is wrong so just do right by them
2006-09-30 19:20:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs a wake up call to realize what is truly important to him. You should immediately file for a divorce, without discussing it with him, or letting on that you are going to do it, and then take him for everything you can. The time it takes for the divorce to go through is more than enough time for him to change his ways, in which case you would just not go through with it. But if he's still wanting to be separated, then at least you will be well on your way to ending an otherwise dead relationship.
2006-09-30 19:31:57 · answer #4 · answered by eric l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Continue concentrating on you and your kids. If your husband can't see what he's missing out on, then do yourself a favor and move on. I do understand that it's difficult to stop loving someone just because you feel like you should but you don't need a man in your life to make it ok. Follow your instinct, better yourself and stop playing his silly little games.
2006-09-30 19:23:29 · answer #5 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your gut instincts girl. If he loved you then he'd still be there by your side. It doesn't matter how long you've been with the person. If you havent seeked marriage counseling you should do it now, but it wont help if the love is one sided. You cant build a house without the foundation. Good luck.
2006-09-30 20:45:49 · answer #6 · answered by tofiesty4u2handle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel real bad for you and the situation your in. Obviously what he is offering isn't enough for you and I don't blame you. You have been really patient, but at some point in time you're just gonna tell him you need direction in your life and some kind of future....either with him or without.
Good luck.
2006-09-30 19:31:23 · answer #7 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its the ones we love the most that will hurt us, dump him cuz he doesnt appreciate you or really love u otherwise he'd b there 4 you daily like ahusband should be. words r cheap, and im sorry u had to go through this children and after marriage. if u feel he is cheating he prob is. ur happiness counts...
2006-09-30 19:14:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he gives you all kinds of reasons why you are separated and they are never the same, that usually means something isn't right. Counseling might help, good luck
2006-09-30 19:44:46 · answer #9 · answered by nutnut1957 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would lead you to think he is cheating?
Why are you seperated,
you at least deserve a rock solid answer on that for crying out loud!
It's ultimatum time girl!
Either he pulls his head out of his a**
or you are gone.
Its just that simple.
It's time...do it!
Good luck babe :)
2006-09-30 19:12:45 · answer #10 · answered by Ponderpink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want him there with you, why are you separated?
And if you aren't living together and living as husband and wife, then why shouldn't he be out having sex and fulfilling his needs elsewhere?
I think both of you need professional therapy to deal with this or divorce.
2006-09-30 19:11:37 · answer #11 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋