My husband cheated on me awhile back and I found out, he said he was sorry and it would never happen again, I am trying so hard to move on and fogive him , but I found *** in his underwear again tonight, and its starting to piss me off , you see he hardly ever touches me , says he is tired because he works so much, and when he gets the chance and im not around that he jacks off, what am I just plain stupid or am I smart for looking at his underwear
2006-09-30 19:07:37 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
to story junkie, why are you judging me by saying im no prize either, you have no idea what I have been through so further more until you have walked in my shoes dont judge me thank you
2006-09-30 19:31:04 · update #1
I think your smart for looking, but I also think it is going to take more for you to leave him...hard core proof, and even then some women stay. It's just what YOU can deal with, not what anyone tells you you can deal with, or when you should of had enough. You will know when you have had enough. It will hurt like hell to walk away, but you will know in your heart that you won't ever have to deal with it again. You can catch him though...just be creative in your plan. Example?...lie and say you got called into work...wait a couple of hours and pop in on him. Just things like that. Good luck.
2006-09-30 19:16:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes two to tango. You probably are no prize either.
Finding that in his underwear is better than finding it in some wench. You are not his judge. Nor are we. Find out why you are so angry and deal with that. It's useless trying to change men. They'll never be your girlfriend. they just won't be, so don't expect him to be. If you have needs, tell him. Hop into the shower with him, give him a back massage. Be kind to him. A little kindness goes a long way. Don't confront him about something he's been doing since before he met you, or you're on the flaming path of destruction, like the rest of the world. Just be at peace. Smile and nod, and forget that you ever saw that.
2006-09-30 19:21:24 · answer #2 · answered by Shinigami 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think if you are checking out his underwear you're looking for an answer that you already have formed in your mind. Having said that finding evidence of that sort on his underwear is no proof that he has been unfaithful and you should look for something with more substance before drawing any conclusions. Sounds like you really want some answers but you're not going about it the right way.
2006-09-30 19:23:02 · answer #3 · answered by patti duke 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been thru this, He's cheating, and it sounds like he isn't going to stop! Always too tired?? He jacks off?? He doesn't want to cheat on his Girlfriend!!! He's turning you into a paranoid person, Do you want to spend the rest of your life snooping? Looking at his underwear? Enough is Enough!! That is no way to live. Start focusing on yourself, start to feel good about yourself again, and you won't want to put up with this anymore!!! You deserve better!! Good luck!
2006-09-30 19:40:56 · answer #4 · answered by shelby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are he's not going to quit cheating on you, without a life shattering experience; nor is there anything you can say to change his mind; he has to be the one to want to change. Therefore you have to decide if you want that type of life the rest of your life, or something different. If you do not want that life, you should immediately file for a divorce, without discussing it all with him, and going after everything you can get. Why?... because he needs a wake up call. The time it takes for the divorce to be finalized is more than enough time for him to prove to you he will remain faithful to you, or you will be well on your way to finding the type of relationship in life you want.
2006-09-30 19:19:37 · answer #5 · answered by eric l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's starting to piss you off???? Could it be that you're so incredibly pissed off that you're not seeing what is smacking you in the face? Don't guys have to take their underwear off when they're spanking it? You're seeing the signs sweetie, accept them, get out, & move on.
2006-09-30 19:21:22 · answer #6 · answered by yobaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband has some issues that need to be dealt with. If he's claiming tired and then getting himself off, them he has issues with....god I don't even know!! He just has alot of damn issues it sounds like!! Try talking to him. Let him know that you have needs too and if he can't meet those needs then go out and find yourself a man who wants you, not his hand!
2006-09-30 19:14:01 · answer #7 · answered by XxbrooklynnxX 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he is hooked on porn, or has an online "chat buddy" that he talks to while you are at work or out of the house. maybe he really is shootin of some knuckle babies without outside help who knows, but if you got the money or have a lot of spare time on your hands you could a. hire a private investigator or b. follow him youself and find out the truth.
2006-09-30 19:11:19 · answer #8 · answered by smitty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he doesn't want to touch you and he is touching someone else then that is what you are going to get the rest of your lives together unless you make a change...sometimes guys don't realize what they have til they think they will lose it....tough love i think they call it...if you love him you will have to distance yourself emotionally and give him the ultimatum...if you don't really care or if you are just attached to him for security reasons then i would move on somehow...that kind of life is just not worth the trouble
2006-09-30 19:12:35 · answer #9 · answered by bertha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater. The signs are infront of you what you do with them is totally up to you. I would of left him the first time it happened, but thats just me. Good luck.
2006-09-30 20:38:04 · answer #10 · answered by tofiesty4u2handle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋