How can I help my kids??

Question

Their Dad is an alcoholic & that's one reason I had to leave him last Nov. Our divorce was final in April. I couldn't take it anymore, although I still love him. Their Dad keeps telling them he's not drinking but they found out tonight he still is. They cried themselves to sleep tonight. (they're 16 & 17) I don't know what to do for them. I try to comfort them & tell them he is a grown man & can take care of himself, but that is not enough. They blame themselves for some reason. It's a terrible situation & I hate to see them hurting over him.

What do I do?

Answer 1

Well all you can do is help them to try to understand their dads problem . Be supportive and listen to them let them vent but dont ever talk bad bout their dad... Try and help their dad by giving him some info on treatment... I maybe when he is sober tell himhe is upsetting the kids.

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Answer 2

Alcoholism is an illness. Sadly is affects everyone around the alcoholic. Is there an ALA TEEN group in your area or a support group they could go to where there are others their age?????
I'm sorry that they blame themselves for this, but I guess it's common, as with children of divorce feel the divorce was their fault. Be there to listen. Don't discount their feelings. Explain to them that their dad is ill. You did the right thing removing them & yourself from the situation.

Answer 3

Girl, my heart bleeds for you. My aunt went through the same situation. She was patient and several years passed. My uncle ( Yes, he was still my uncle, divorce or not.... ) finally, FINALLY!! < came to his senses. He was remarried with a young son by the 2nd wife at the time. But , one day he called my Aunt, his teenage sweetheart , and they had lunch together. He apologized for everything he had ever done wrong to her and asked her if he divorced #2, would she remarry him and raise the little boy as her own son, since wife #2 was a completely unfit mother. My aunt said yes , she would do both. They were sooo happy!! It SHOULD have ended that way, but he had a heart attack that night and passed away. But, my aunt and my cousins still have the confort of knowing how he wanted his life to be and the steps he was taking to make it so.

I don't know if that helps you any at all, but I certainly hope that it does. I feel like I just told you a long story for nothing, but somehow I feel you will find the point in there that I was going for... please try...?

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear what your going through. There should be a list for a meeting you and/or your kids can attend near where you live. Alanon is a safe place where people who are hurting can find help and encouragement from other family members or loved ones of alcoholics. It has helped me deal with some difficult emotions

Answer 5

Check out the closest Alanon meeting time and place! Sounds like you and your children would benefit from the help Alanon can give.

Answer 6

My dad was an alcoholic. I never let myself accept it until after he died. It sounds like they are accepting it, which has to be healthier than the way I did it. It's ok for them to cry. Just keep telling them it's not their fault & that you love them.

Answer 7

There old enough to understand the truth,let them know again it's not there fault,let them sort it out for themselves.There not babies anymore,don't treat them like one.

Answer 8

start praying to your hight power,asking forunderstanding for borth yourseft and your children. you will soon have an ansewer and the pain will appear less,everyday you and your children grow stroug. keep praying

Answer 9

A.A. & Alanon: both are life savers!