When I first started my job in July, I met a young pregnant woman. I did not get to know her well before she went on maternity leave, but I was truly heartsick to learn that her baby boy was either stillborn or died of birth complications. I am going to the service for the baby on Monday and, other than, "I am so sorry," I don't know what to do or say for the mother.
2006-09-30 17:20:58 · 20 answers · asked by Kathleen C 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I just lost my newborn baby girl. What was best for me was seeing people at the service. Them being there was better than anything anyone said. Call him a boy not an it like some do when referring to a fetus. Dont say it was god's will. God knows more than anyone what it is like to lose a child. He was crying too that moment at the hospital. Cards and gifts are nice. Some found nice poems and lyrics to print out for me with a lot of pink and flowers on them. Real flowers bothered me though because they were so beautiful and had to die too, just like my 6 lb 2 oz Angel. There are no words. Just actions. Being there means everything. My doctor and the nurses from that night at the hospital even came to mine and it made me feel like my baby really meant something to all and not just to me and that she was important and loved.
2006-10-01 15:50:24 · answer #1 · answered by Carolee B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about just a hug. Sometimes thats all you need to say. And saying you are sorry is fine too. Just going to the service shows that you care.
Its a hard thing to talk about. My mother had a baby who was stillborn. I dont talk about it much with her because even after 30 years its still hard for her to talk about.
2006-10-02 03:36:57 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it happened in my family, the best things were the things done, rather than said. Everyone will say, "I am so sorry." That is perfectly enough, because really, what can you say?
It was the people who came over and brought food, the people who came and helped take the nursery items away for donations, and the people who were thoughtful enough to ask what things needed to be done that truly showed their care and support...even something as simple as taking a family member to and from the airport/train/bus can be a tremendous help.
2006-09-30 17:31:16 · answer #3 · answered by hrhtheprincessofeire 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My friend had a stillborn baby two years ago. She said to me that the worst thing that people would say was 'It was what God wanted' and 'these things happen for a reason'. And she said the worst thing was people not talking about her baby. So my advice is let her know that you are there for her if she wants to talk or needs anything.
2006-10-01 00:59:32 · answer #4 · answered by Hanky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offer to let her talk about it. Bring it up in a month and ask how she is doing. Send her a card on her due date or on Mother's Day letting her know you remember. The hardest part that I've heard from my friends who have lost babies prior to birth is most people forget after a short period of time--long before the mom is through grieving.
2006-09-30 18:03:35 · answer #5 · answered by Sylvia M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't know her very well, you probably shouldn't say much at all. Just a card saying, "I'm thinking of/praying for you" should be plenty, and will probably be better than anything you could say. People usually don't like to hear "I'm sorry" because while you are really sorry for their loss, it sounds to them like........well I can't explain it.
Unless you've lost a child yourself, no words you can say will help her feel better. Just a hug, a card, and very few words will help the most.
2006-09-30 17:30:48 · answer #6 · answered by married_so_leave_me_alone1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not. Unbelievably a few cash sucking females could ask this sort of query. It does not shock me regardless that...it is the ordinary factor...let's examine how we will be able to screw a few deficient man. You probably ready to sue for part the supply expenditures and burial costs relying to your state however that is so far as you cross leech.
2016-08-29 09:52:41 · answer #7 · answered by sykes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think "Im sorry for your loss" and "Im keeping you in my thoughts" are the right things to say. Ive talked to a few women who have lost a child at birth and they usually say the only thing they want is for someone to listen and be there for them.
PLEASE dont say anything about her having another baby, that makes it sound like that baby didnt matter.
2006-09-30 18:46:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is really all you can say. Depending on how close you are to her, you may want to make yourself available to her if she needs someone to talk to. This is a very difficult time. I suffered 2 miscarriages out of my 5 pregnancies. Losing a child at any point of the pregnancy is extremely difficult. She needs all the support she can get.
2006-09-30 17:27:23 · answer #9 · answered by luvmy3kids 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your loss actually goes a long way. Being at the service says a lot also. Letting her know that she may not want to talk, but that she is in your thoughts and prayers is important.
Don't minimize it and say, "you can try again".
2006-10-01 09:36:39 · answer #10 · answered by Rose C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋