Breast Feeding Moms...?

Question

When I had kids I did not breast feed. However, a friend of mine just had her baby. He was 9 lbs. at birth. She will only feed him every three hours. I thought if you breast fed you did it "on command". Both times I have seen him, he has been sticking out his tongue and fussy. Which would have meant with my daughters they are hungry. I said "I think he's hungry." She told me he had another hour before he could eat again. Now, here comes the best part... She is "training" him to sleep through the night and skipping his nightly feedings so he learns to sleep. Remember he is only 5 days old. Is this something that sounds normal? It sounds totally ridiculous to me. She is starving him for six hours. Also, the nurse told her husband to have him suck on HIS nipples so he can have the bonding with the child. I think they have gone insane. My daughter was 10 pounds at birth and she ate up to 4 ounces every two hours some days. Does this sound crazy to you too?

Answer 1

this woman is harming her baby he needs to eat every 2 hours and she can not train a baby to sleep through the night at 5 days old
If she is a real friend help her or at least call a social worker so the baby can Get what he needs

You may loose a friend but this child needs your help

Answer 2

I let both my breastfed babies and my one bottle fed baby (she had medical issues that made it nearly impossible for her to nurse) eat whenever they wanted. For my breast babies, it was whenever they cried. That's the only thing they ever cried for lol. It was every 30 minutes at first, then eventually every 2 hours or so as they got older. My bottle baby ate every 2 hours usually.
I don't believe in starving a baby just to make them comply to your schedule. It's stupid and it's abusive. If the baby cries, and a breast or bottle satisfies him, let him eat!! My experience has been that babies who eat a little here and there instead of all in one sitting are usually thinner and healthier children, because they learn to eat when they're hungry, not when the clock says they should eat.
I've never heard of a baby sucking a man's nipples. That's weird. That's probably confusing the heck out of the baby too. Sucking on something that doesn't produce milk, and is also a different shape and size from mommy's nipples. Daddies can bond with babies in many many other ways.
These people need some serious mentoring to learn parenting skills. You can't raise a child by a book, and it sounds like that's what they're trying to do.
It's not healthy for a baby to sleep through the night at that age. They can become seriously ill from not eating often enough. Their stomach is about the size of their fist. That means they can hold a maximum of about 4 ounces at a time. That's not enough to keep them hydrated and keep their blood sugar regulated overnight. My oldest slept through the night around 5 weeks old, but only with a feeding around 11 pm. My middle slept through the night at about 4 months old, but needed a bottle around 10 pm. My youngest is now 4 years old and still wakes up some nights lol. She stopped nursing at 3 1/2. She occasionally slept through the night around 3 months old. The good thing about breastfeeding and co-sleeping is that you don't even know when they're awake sometimes. You can just roll over and let them have it, and you don't have to even really wake up. : )
To feed a newborn so infrequently definitely is abusive, and it sounds like she really hates her baby if he annoys her so much already. She needs help. Could be post-partum depression.

Answer 3

There's a book that talks about this kind of routine. I can't remember the name of the book though. Basically you have your child on a 3 hour feeding schedule and then eventually cut out the 11 oclock feeding and your baby will learn to sleep through the night. My friend did it with 3 of her kids, but she didn't start it until they were 2 months old. She would also feed them before the 3 hour mark if they were really hungry.

I personally don't believe in it. I believe that a baby should be fed when it's hungry!! It's not fair to the baby to be forced to wait that long. At that age they're only getting 3 or 4 oz at a time. Could you imagine how fast that goes through them. Not to mention that at 6 weeks they go through a growth spirt and need to cluster feed. I feel that these kinds of routines interfere with the natural instincts of the baby and the mother. If she did want to try this method, she should not do it at 5 days old!!! You have every right to be conserned.

Answer 4

OK, I have heard of nursing on daddy but DH would never go for it (we're crunchy, but even that is beyond what we will do!) and frankly that would be a little weird IMO. But more power to families that want to do this (however I'd bet they're few and far between!).

For a 5 day old, that sounds like a horrible thing to do to a baby with such a strict feeding schedule. That is boardering on child abuse. Babies should be fed on cue at least for the first couple months, and then you can ease in to a schedule. Even sleep training advocates say not to start sleep training until around 6 months old. I think your friends are crazy for making a baby with such a tiny stomach capacity wait so long to eat!

Answer 5

YES, it does sound CRAZY to me. I am a breastfeeding Mommy and I cannot imagine trying to put a 5 day old baby on a schedule. I don't understand people like this but I have heard of them... the problem is these types consider babies to be inconveniences that need to be disciplined, restricted, controlled and dealt-with. I do not agree. And besides... breast milk is digested in 90 minutes (which is why breastfed babies eat more frequently than formula fed babies!). Doing what she is doing is only going to cause nursing problems in the long run and possible trust issues with her baby. If a baby is hungry and tries to communicate that in the only way it knows how (crying, mouthing, sucking on hand, etc.) and it's needs are not met I've read that it learns that it cannot rely upon it's mother to meet it's needs and begins to distrust the world. Not a good way to start a mother-infant relationship in my opinion. But... to each her own and I guess everyone tries to do what they *think* is best for their baby. I just don't personally agree with baby-training. And as for the father letting the baby nurse on him... ummm... talk about confusion (and frustration... NO MILK!) for that hungry poor little baby! What odd advice.

Answer 6

This is harmful to the child! The "sleep training" theory is from a book by a man named Gary Ezzo called "Babywise." He is about putting babies on a schedule and allowing them to cry in hunger instead of feeding them until the "feeding time" because they need to be taught how to accomodate the parents' schedule. The method has been called dangerous by doctors (Mr. Ezzo is not a doctor) because it can result in dehydration and failure to thrive. Doctors recommend feeding on demand and most babies don't sleep through the night until 2-3 months old.

Not feeding a 5 day old all night long is child neglect. Please call CPS and have them come out and investigate. The parents might just need some serious education about why this is harmful to the baby.

And the nipple sucking thing with the dad...uh, I am pretty granola but that is too far for me.

Answer 7

I breast feed my daughter ,I feed her when ever she was hungry,if she wanted to eat every hour I fed her.Trying to breast feed every 3 hours is crazy, especially when he is 5 days old.
As for teaching him to sleep thought the night at this age ,she has lost her mind. I would say maybe by the time the baby is about 3 months old they can go all night without waking up to be feed,but that doesn't happen often. My daughter did start sleeping all night at 2 1/2 months.I don't know how common that is though. My son who I bottle fed, didn't sleep through the night until he was 15 months old.

Answer 8

Babys aren't really good at keeping schedules! They need to be fed as they are hungry not every 3 hours!! All fears we have as adults are born from what happened to us the first 2 years of our life! Can you imagine his?! In my opinion, she is starving her son!! I can see adjusting his night time feedings when he's about 8 months old or older, not 5 days old!! The nursing on his Dad is just not right!! If the Dad wants to be involved that are other ways! Like the Mom expressing off and letting Dad bottle feed the wee one...

Answer 9

I think your friend is a little sleep deprived of something? I breastfed all three of my children until they where at least 8mths. to a 1yr. old and they all were on demand feedings and they developed their own schedules. As another person wrote my husband would never think of letting our kids nurse on his nipples that's just weird! I pumped so my husband could feed our babies and you just don't bond with your baby by feedings come on. I think this Doctor is a real Quack! Your friend needs to get some help quick or that little angel will really be in trouble you would never starve an animal for six hours how can you starve a baby that's cruel if she doesn't listen and take some advice. I would as her friend try and refer her and her husband to some nursing families support groups in your area like La Leche League they can give you all kinds of advice and they really helped me as a new nursing mom unlike some of the under staffed hospital nurses. Best wishes to that new little one and may the angels watch over!

Answer 10

this is nuts!!!!!! If that baby wants to eat then it needs to eat. And having a man "nurse" is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. That baby is going to end up hating him because he does not have the goods!!!!! I think that they need a call from someone they will listen to. Mabey print this out:

How often should I feed the baby?
Newborn babies nurse about eight to 12 times in 24 hours every one and a half to three hours during the first couple of weeks. Many will sleep longer at night.


How long should I nurse?
During the first couple of days, the baby may be sleepier and may only nurse 10 to 15 minutes on a breast. This is normal and may change very soon. Watch the sucking pattern of the baby. The baby should be sucking and drawing in the breast with a tugging, not painful feeling. Each baby is very different and some suck with gusto, while others take their time. See: Is my baby getting enough?

Let-down reflex
This hormonal response releases milk from your breasts. You may see or feel one or more of the following during early signs of let-down:

Cramps in your uterus or abdomen.
Your breasts feel tingly just before feeding or during a feeding.
Milk leaks from your other breast during the feeding.
You see milk on your baby's mouth.
Your baby's suck slows down and becomes longer.
Feelings of relaxation or well-being.
Sometimes, this reflex could be delayed due to pain or tension. There are some things that you could do that may enhance your let-down reflex:

Talk about your worries to your partner or a friend.
Relax before a feeding.
Get into a comfortable position before bringing the baby to breast.
Drink water, juice or a decaffeinated beverage before, during and after breastfeeding.
Have someone give you a back or shoulder massage.
Nurse in a quiet room.
Use warm compresses on your breasts or try a gentle breast massage.
If you are uncomfortable, take your pain medication



ways for dad to bond:

http://www.babyzone.com/features/content/display.asp?ContentID=1220&PF=True

Answer 11

I breastfed my son and did follow the BabyWise book (scheduled feedings). My son actually seemed to cry less and be more satisfied on a schedule. The book does tell you to feed the kid if he's hungry. It's mainly trying to cut out feeding everytime the child cries because all crying is not necessarily related to hunger.

But, no way did I start scheduled feedings at 5 days old! Not even this book recommended scheduled feeding this early. And I've never heard of ANYONE (book, doctor, anyone) suggest a breastfed child should not be given his nightly feedings at 5 days old. They are actually MORE in need of the nightly feeding than formula fed children because breastmilk is burned up by their systems so much quicker.

Tell her to check with her doctor again. I can't believe he recommended that she skip the nightly feeding.

As far as breastfeeding daddy...I can just see my husband's reaction if our nurse had told him that. hehehe.