Hmmm..just toss five years away we have had ......she says she is not happy with her husband...and doesent love him....and she has told him this..but she wants to stay for her kids...that i never met...end it huh..?????
2006-09-30 16:02:32 · 17 answers · asked by jaybird789ers 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I read your previous question to understand this question and all I have to say is, it's still HER decision. If she's not happy but she wants to stay in the marriage, that is her choice. There's nothing anyone can do about it, not even u. She has to make up her own mind on what she wants to do as it is her life.
2006-09-30 16:43:00 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying in a bad relationship for the kids sake is not conducive to a healthy relationship for everyone.
Children are VERY sensitive and will quickly know that things are not OK with Mom & Dad. They are the ones who will suffer the most - either way.
If love is gone, it it gone period. Either you find a way back to each other or go your separate ways. Why stay if you are not happy.
Sometimes love is not enough to hold a relationship together anyway, but when it is gone...well...
Sounds like she is thinking about her financial security more than the relationship that you have with her.
You should both should move on with your lives at this point. Life is WAY too short to be miserable!
2006-09-30 16:06:26 · answer #2 · answered by midnightlydy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to be rude, but you have been her "mistress" for 5 yrs and she hasnt left her husband, Well first of all she is "married with children", if she was going to leave, she would have before she met you. See women can be like men too. Men throughout history have had mistresses and most never leave their wives, because if a mistress was the one were going to stay with they would have.
Get out of this situation, find a SINGLE woman to fall in love with and stop living in another mans world, and of course you havent met her children she is married and living a double life when she can fit it in.
Its not fair to you, or to her husband or family, no matter what she says if she is staying there is more to it, and its not just for the kids, especially after a 5yr adulterous affair, its the thrill of getting it somewhere else without her husband finding out.
2006-09-30 16:10:49 · answer #3 · answered by rottie110 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While you may not agree with her reasons to stay in the relationship, it is her business and right. Yes, I agree that no person should stay in a relationship that they aren't happy in and is terrible for the children to have parents at odds and a mother who has, from what I gathered, having an extra marital affair with you... Right or wrong, it is her decision. I would suggest for you to clear yourself from this situation. NOt only is this not healthy to have this women string you along but aren't you feeling at all guilty that you are only assisting this women from straying further from her husband and children? I know that when someone has a hold of your heart strings that they can sometimes lead them to places you thought you may never be and I am sure that this is one of them. You should be angry and it is understandable with your history for you to be desperate for her love you and be with you, but she has said that it isn't going to happen. The sooner you move on the better everyone will be in the situation... end it and take each day at a time. In the end you will feel better... Good luck!
2006-09-30 16:20:08 · answer #4 · answered by wtrmlnqueen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES toss it away. What are you losing? There really isn't a "relationship" there with 12 meetings in 5 years? And you haven't met the kids? My guess is she never INTENDS for you to meet the kids! She may not be happy in her marriage but she is comfortable enough to STAY married.
2006-09-30 16:27:26 · answer #5 · answered by msuzyq 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a woman who really doesn't know what she wants. Leave her alone and give her a lot of space to figure it out by herself. Let her try to mend fences with her husband if that's what she wants. To be fair to you, you should have a clear playing field with no competition.
If she really does have kids, then she should have been thinking of them all along. She's really been cheating on both you and her husband.
I'd hate to start a life with a woman with that kind of baggage. There are lots of women. Keep yourself attractive and open for other possibilities for your life. Five years is a lot of time to spend on someone who isn't serious.
2006-09-30 16:10:23 · answer #6 · answered by Mmerobin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she isn't happy with him, then she should divorce him.
She's probably using the kids as an excuse I'm sorry to tell you, you probably don't want to hear that but look
you're talking about tossing 5 years away, Well, how many years are you willing to waste waiting on her to divorce him?
2006-09-30 16:09:18 · answer #7 · answered by frustrated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were in a relationship for 5 years and never met her kids? It doesn't sound like much of a relationship to me.
You really should let it go and find a woman who can give herself to you 100%.
2006-09-30 16:46:57 · answer #8 · answered by theoriginalquestmaker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to stop making excuses.Cause the kids are not gonna be with someone cause she want them too. And if she don't love him and the fact that she's not happy. I think she needs to leave cause you can best believe that he is doing just what the hell he want to.
2006-09-30 16:47:35 · answer #9 · answered by tessie35 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes it would be the best for her kids but it also souds to me like she is playing the two of you i think you need to leave her too before you get hurt to in the long run good luck
2006-09-30 16:08:00 · answer #10 · answered by Christine M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋