My parents are about to divorce and I do not know who I want to live with. I love them both very much and they love me too and I don't want to break their hearts, by choosing one over the other. I want to be with my mom, because then I can talk to her about girly stuff and I enjoy we have a lot of fun together and I want to be with my dad, because he makes me laugh, he always cheers me up.
2006-09-30 15:49:56 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can have equal access to both parents, by asking them if they could pursue joint custody of you. You can then alternate by one week at each parent's home. That is a good plan for kids over 14; Under fourteen you can have two days per week at a differenty house and the alternate weekends :
EG: Mon and Tues: Mom
Weds and Thursday : Dad
Fri Sat Sun = alternate
Share holidays and vacations.
These plans work very well for familes.
You should be entitled to pursue full and rewarding relationships with both parents. They are BOTH equally important in your life.
You should never feel like you have to make a choice, taht is not fair to you. They should go to a mediator if they are having a hard time putting this together.
It should not be up to you, although you are entitled to say what you want, they should ensure your needs are fully met and that they do not involve you in a negative way. They should value the continued relationship between you and the other parent.
This is their divorce, Not yours.
Okay so here are some websites that can help:
http://www.kidsturn.org
http://www.megilamediation.com
Alibris Books: Divorce Happens to the Nicest Kids: A Self Help Book for Kids...
Buy Divorce Happens to the Nicest Kids: A Self Help Book for Kids (Rev) by Michael S. Prokop. Used, new, and out of print books from thousands of suppliers. Find it at Alibris and save.alibris.com/search/search.cfm
Goodluck,
2006-09-30 16:02:25 · answer #1 · answered by meldorhan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in your situation before. First and foremost whoever you do choose to live with, make sure you talk to the other parent and make sure that they know it has nothing to do with who you love more or less. They need to be told that. On making your decision, don't go with split parenting, I.E. Mom gets you these days of a week, Dad gets you the other days, it's a hassle, you forget stuff at the opposite house, and its just frustrating. Maybe you could do alternating months, or a few months, by that i mean switching who has "full" custody of you, so let's say for three months your mom has you weekdays and every other weekend, and your dad would have you everyother weekend, then switch for three months or what not. Now if that is not possible, which it more than likely isn't, at least for me it wasn't. I know this sounds lame but make a Pro/Con list for living with each parent. Compare, and decide, also consider who you tend to disagree with more. Maybe even talk to your parents about if you get upset and want to chill over at the other house for a bit, that it's cool.
2006-09-30 16:55:44 · answer #2 · answered by Aimee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to me, but I was small at the time, and didn't have a choice. I love both of my parents, and they both know that. Right now I'm currently living with my mom. On weekends, and alternate holidays and vacations I'm with my dad. It's a really good arrangement actually. My mom's house is closer to my school..walking distance actually. My dad is just a town over, and I can visit him whenever I want. Just think about what's best for you. Where will your parents be living now? Think about who's closer to your school, and your friends. Just really think about what you want to do, and tell your parents. If you're still not sure then sit and talk to both of your parents. You'll make the right decision eventually. Just give it time. :]
2006-09-30 16:05:42 · answer #3 · answered by Jenn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a decision that you shouldnt have to make, your parents shouldnt put the burden on you, how old are you, can you split your time between them. My son spends 4 days with me and 3 with his dad, he is only 5 though. I lived with my mom, but my parents divorced when I was an infant.
In most situations kids live with their moms, but of course there are times when some live with their dads. No one will be mad at you, but still you shouldnt have to make that decision. Your parents are the ones who need to decided what is best for you, depending on your families situation and what the best thing is for you. Both your parents will always love you and be there for you, it will just change a little bit, it hurts but it will work out. Never feel like any of it is your fault and let your parents be the adults and decide how the living arrangements will be.
2006-09-30 15:56:44 · answer #4 · answered by rottie110 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough question and there is no easy answer. If they live fairly close together, you could split your time between the two and have a room at both places. On the other hand, it may not be up to you. The courts may decide. No matter what, it's great that you don't want to hurt either of them and that you love them that much. They are very fortunate to have such a caring child. I'm sure they love you very much.
2006-09-30 16:34:59 · answer #5 · answered by Curious George 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents divorced when I was in the third grade. If you're a girl, it's best to live with your mom. I don't suggest alternating month to month or anything like that. Just go visit your dad every other weekend.
2006-09-30 16:06:38 · answer #6 · answered by sLb♥CeM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not be the one making such decision. Plus, love has nothing to do with chosing one over the other. You can love them equally and live with only one of them, but make sure to spend quality time with the parent you will not be living with from now one, call frequently and say hello, express your feelings (I love you, I miss you, etc) try to see him/her on special ocassions like birthdays or holidays...Good luck and stay strong!
2006-09-30 16:04:31 · answer #7 · answered by zocotroco 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know its hard to decide, but think about who you are closer too, I mean more than likely you'll be with one parent through the week and the other on the weekend..so you'll still be able to see them both pretty regularly...and if they agree, you can live with say your mom and see your dad one day thru the week and then on the weekends..they know its hard..but you need to think of whats best for you right now..
2006-09-30 15:54:23 · answer #8 · answered by blondemom133 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should alternate. Like live with you dad for a month, and then with your mom for a month, but only if they are still in the same city, otherwise this is a bad idea.
2006-09-30 15:53:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try staying with one of them for the School Year and go to the Others Summer and some Holidays
2006-09-30 15:54:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋