I'm not attracted to him anymore. It hurt me so much to tell him this but he said he will not give up on us. I have began to notice other men and I'm attracted to them. I dont understand why this has happened. My husband is such a good person and he loves me so much. Should I leave him? What should I do? I dont want to cheat but I'm so tempted.
2006-09-30 15:35:17 · 22 answers · asked by bobbie jo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What you are experiencing is very common. What happens next will depend upon your willingness to make wise choices. Love takes work and focus. There are many good books on the market about rekindling your love and if you care at all about doing what is right, you'll start reading them!. Look at the resources link at www.family.org for starters. The best book I've ever read on marrriage is Love and Respect by Eggerich. Get reading honey. You're in a very normal place, but your choices can spell blessing or disaster. Remember, marriage is a commitment, and what you are experiencing is one of the reasons it is first and foremost, a commitment. And, any numbskull can notice other people of the opposite sex. The question is whether or not you take a glance, or start the ball rolling down the hill. It's really your choice. Don't think you are a victim of fate.
2006-09-30 15:44:51 · answer #1 · answered by whiteparrot 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first I would advise you to pray over your situation. The next thing is, to ask him to meet with you, and let HIM tell you in HIS own words WITHOUT you interrupting him why he wants the divorce. I know it maybe hard, but it's worth it. Next, whatever he says to you, take as a grain of salt. Do not beg and plead. Do not throw out the line, I will do anything to have you back, because that is a lie people say to get their way, and it is annoying to hear. Keep standards about yourself. There maybe things you should work on. So do that. In time, he may decide he wants you back into his life. Don't move back so fast. Remember he is the one that come to you and said he wanted the divorce. make him prove that from where you are. Regardless of where you are, your life is what it is - YOUR LIFE! Nobody gets control of that except for you. If there is something you don't mind doing, then do it. If there is something you don't want to do, then don't do it. but make that decision for yourself. I'm saying this lines late but, start attending and get involved into a local church. God has answers to all things and he will show what you should do about your situation. He already knows what's going on, He has the answers to resolve the issue. In the Bible it discusses marriages and how people should act and treat their spouses. As far as divorce is concerned, God hates divorces. He is not hip with it, because he has the answers to turn that around, you two willing to follow Him.
2016-03-27 00:22:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is definitely not good. I feel for your husband. I have been with my man for 11 years and would be devastated if he ever told me this. But I would take it seriously. Tempted... Tempted... is always the word. If you are having feelings then you need to leave the relationship. It is not healthly and fair for your husband if yous hould ever cheat and not tell him. Sounds like you may be the type to cheat and not tell. The song "Secret Lovers" come to mind. BUT I WILL LET YOU KNOW THIS. THIS COULD BE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE. TRUE LOVE IS HARD TO FIND. You need to tell yourself why you are no longer attrated to him and tell him too. See if improvement can be made. Do not decieve him. At least go out of this with a good conscious and know you did all you could to stay with your husband. Good luck!!
2006-09-30 15:45:24 · answer #3 · answered by Mo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the 7 year "itch" is 3 years late. It's common in marriage and you will have to figure out how to deal with it. It's natural and some people try counseling (which never works), some do cheat, and others just continue on and work through it. I know people who have been married for 18+ years and just fall out of love. Don't blame yourself, you are not a bad person, just honest.
2006-09-30 15:39:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would have to agree that situations like this is best to talk to a professional about your love life. The reason why is becuase family and friends tend to go to one side to either your husband or you. As for a person that deals with relationships and do not know you personaly will help out he or she will look at both your sides of your personal life hopefully help you out.
2006-09-30 16:27:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the comfortable married life. Did you expect to have that romatic love forever? Are you going to give up this man that loves you, is a good provider, is comfortable; and give it up for some one night stand and ruin all that you have been living for?
Find someway to put the spice back in your marriage--dont flush 10 years of marriage down the drain for something that may never become.
Stay with him... as long as he is not beating the crap out of you or abusing you in any way.
Sit him down and talk to him, go to counseling or something...
2006-09-30 15:41:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mabey you are just going thru a mid life criss. Picture your life without him, would you be sad if he was gone? You will always be attracted to other men it is natural. I think you are just getting restless and need a change. Talk to a counselor and find away to make you both happy.
Trust me dating is hard. Do you really want to start over?
2006-09-30 15:49:03 · answer #7 · answered by betty_htch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fist you need to find out what really happen bethen him and you maybe you lost the fist secret about love1.atraction 2.he work to many ours and forgot to bring you flowers or maybe you forget to be temted to have sex out of the house with him, you guis need to talk and let him now about the situation. about cheting i dont recomended because i do that before and i still fell guilty for that you should talk to him and try some activity out of the house get a couple drinks etc.
2006-09-30 16:25:59 · answer #8 · answered by Sexibori 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband was married 10 years ago? what atrracted you to him because i am sure you have change too. Just because there are other men out there you have an history ur husband. Ask yourself one question What turned you on to your husband? what turned you off? and try to talk to him about it before you run to another man and be disapponinted
2006-09-30 15:42:20 · answer #9 · answered by the sweetest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is natural to feel this way at various times. It may just be something you are going through. I would suggest talking w/ other woman you can trust or a counselor. You aren't alone...I go through phases of unhappiness but always pull through them and I've talked to others that have as well....good luck :)
2006-09-30 15:39:38 · answer #10 · answered by Mona 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋