does love really last for ever ?

Question

i'm 25, been married for 10yrs or so, we have 3 kids and we've put eachother through hell and back, i cant begin to tell u how much **** we've done to eachother but still stuck around and dealt w/ eachother, lately i've had a hard time thinking if i luv him or if we're 2 gether just for convinience/ the kids / bills / comfort ? we have no reason to split but it crosses my mind he's an awesome father but there's nuthing btween us , we dont do the hug n kiss good bye thing.. i wanna f**k , much more than him and he's just to tired, sumtimes we dont sleep on the same bed , he stays up watching tv, i just dont enjoy spending time w/ him anymore and i feel he feels the same way, kisses dont feel good anymore, i cant tell if we trully luv eachother ... comments plz ... women what can i do ??

Answer 1

I know exactly what your going through. Its like you wrote the story of my marriage. I stuck it out for 16 years. I'm not so sure what you should do. I have a huge list of what not to do.
1. Never find comfort in the arms of another man
2. Don't turn to drugs or alcohol
3. Don't ignore your feelings
4. Don't give up on your dreams
5. Don't think your stuck
6. Don't stay married for the sake of the kids
7, Don't disrespect him to his kids
8. Don't believe your happiness doesn't matter
9. Don't forget to do your hair and make up.
10. Don't forget to laugh.

Everything happens for a reason
Good luck

Answer 2

I am not a woman but I have been there, done that on both sides of the fence.

Try dressing in a sexy negligee some time. Climb into his lap and block the TV, or do something he really likes sexually.

If this does not work, you may have a problem.

Staying together for the sake of the kids is a noble thought. But the kids pick up on the tension between the parents and it affects them also.

Or, maybe you married young and did not get a chance to play the field. Now you want to explore but feel constrained by the hum-drum of daily life.

Are you bored? Is he bored? Is he having an affair? Do you want to have one? Asks yourself these questions and accept the answers. Good luck.

Answer 3

It sounds like your relationship is on the outs. There are probably a lot of things that need to be said, but it's difficult with kids and job, etc.

Could you guys get a weekend away? Don't expect to have everything working after the weekend. Just a chance to see if you guys still like each other. There still may be some hurt feelings that show up over the weekend.

But if goes well enough for you both to know that your marriage is worth keeping together, then I suggest some couples therapy, just so you have a safe place to talk things out and get some tools on how to argue and work things out.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Your story is like many other women that have gone through the same thing. You both have been married for years now and the spark between you is almost gone. If the both of you let that last flicker of light go out then its all over. Then comes the divorce who the kids are going to stay with or is going to have what. Tell me do you want to go all through that just becuase you have feelings of lack of love. Give me a brake. You hear on the TV you hear from other people. It takes the both of you to find something to bring the spark back. Talk to someone that specialies in this matter. Find a book that will help you bring back the love you had for each other. It sounds to me that both of you don't even take each other out or do something nice for each other. It sound like that both of you are just to dame lazzy to do anything about it. I will tell you what if you let this slide by you you won't like the end results. Seperation is alot worse than being in love its really simple either you both take the step and get your life back on track or start going through a divorce. WHICH ONE WOULD YOU PICK?

Answer 5

I know what you mean. I just got out of an eleven year marriage with a woman that would only have sex once or twice every two weeks. Over three fourths of the marriage and I found out that she was molested by her father, and that she was abused by her ex boyfriends. She was turned off on sex but she subsituted it with her work. She made lots of money and lots of bills. She found a new boyfriend two weeks before she filed for divorce and she waited two weeks after she filed for a divorce to tell me because she said she didn't know how to tell me that eleven years of marriage was over. I am still hurt and under sexed, but I am going on with my life. I miss my kids a lot. With Iowa law the mother gets the kids unless proven unfit. She's a good mother but a bad lover. I just can tell you to do what my wife did and pray for the best!

Answer 6

Would you be happier without him? Do you want to
end your marriage? You have been through alot as you said and still stuck it out, but if you are miserable together
you have to just take a long hard at your marriage and your life and talk to him. Maybe you are just bored with
each other. If you don't know if you still love each other,
then there's a problem somewhere.

Answer 7

rekindle the flame.. try to go out together just the two of you.. talk... bring back memories of good times together..

understand him, take care of him personally, his clothes, toiletries... make him coffee, kiss him when he leaves for work and when he arrives... do things together even though you don't want to.. we're trying to save a relationship here. It's just a phase though but if left to rot, will really rot away..

most of all you need to pray.. if possible pray together.. it's a good thing.. "the family that prays together, stays together" what man cannot do, God can. ok?

Answer 8

True love is unconditional. You have to do things in your marriage
to keep the spark going unless your marriage will die. I can since their
is a lack of communication. Begin to speak to each other like when you
was dating. Remember marriage is not bondage if you truly love this person.

Answer 9

This is real meaning of Love that what Love is about 100%.
The reality of love is your married.
Stack in the reality of responsibility and be tired to handle this family - no place for too much fun, something sweet or just flirt.

Answer 10

I have been with my husband for 13 years. He raised my son as his own and won't let people say any different. I will love him as the father of my children. And as the friend he could have been. Sometimes, it's less painful if you just let it go. I know I hurt, but it could be worse.