Should the wife be expected to CLEAN UP AFTER her husband?

Question

My girlfriend has two preschoolers at home so she's at home and her husband works. Now, I can totally appreciate that while he's out working, she does the cooking and cleaning and laundry, etc, but my question is that if he makes a mess, should she have to pick up after him?
He leaves dishes in their bedroom, living room, outside... he can never take them back to the kitchen. He can't put his dirty clothes in the hamper. He never puts anything away after he finishes using it -no matter what it is.
It just seems to me that it's housekeeping to a point.
What HE does appears to be disrespectful and unappreciative.
I doubt he would do that in his mother's house!

Scratch that!
He probably DID do that in his mother's house.

Answer 1

That is rude, I think your friend needs to talk to her husband and ask him to help her out a bit I am in her situation right I know I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and I stay home with them, my husband works. But when he gets home he helps me out with the kids and even helps cook dinner and straighten up the house. Some men think it is easy to me a stay at home mother but it is the hardest job i have ever had!!!

Answer 2

he is also being very selfish, inconsiderate, lazy and setting a poor example for his kids. Caring for children and the household should be part of his responsibility.
The she needs to tell him she is not in the mood at night because she is just so exhausted from picking up after him.
She should feed the children without making him dinner, when he ask why, she can just tell him that she did not feel like picking up additional plates.
She should also leave his clothes on the floor and because "HE" failed to put them in the hamper and anything not in the hamper will not be getting laundered.
I don't think he would want to explain to friends why his stuff is all over and the house is a mess.

Worked for my sister when her husband got hungry enough and was tired of wearing dirty clothes.
.

Answer 3

The wife, in the example that you mentioned, is at work during the day also. She has 2 preschoolers to deal with, plus all of the chores that are related to keeping house. When the husband is at home, not only should he pick up after himself, he should also help with something in the evening and on weekends.

Answer 4

Your girlfriend should not have to pick up after her husband. It seems he is being very disrespectful towards her and doesn't care. He is not another child he is an adult and should be able to clean his own mess. On the other hand if she doesn't say anything to her husband and keeps cleaning up after him, then it is kind of her fault as well. He probably feels like if she is going to clean up after him, then why not. What she really needs to do is talk to him. Maybe that will help.

Answer 5

He probably did do that in his mothers house but a wife is not the mother to him. It's too hard to clean up and take care of two preschoolers say nothing about a grown man.

Answer 6

She can do one of two things...pick it up and just be happy...and you can mind your own business and don't make her unhappy about her life....or she can just leave the mess he made until he picks it up himself! She can do a number of things to counter the behavior her husband has...she can make a deal with him, like she will continue to pick up the dishes he leaves lying around the house if he agrees to either pay someone to come clean the house thou roughly once a week, bi-weekly OR he can help by picking up his dishes and rinsing them out and leaving them in the sink....that would save them a lot of money...and or he could just continue leaving the mess and she can tell him for every piece of silverware, every plate, every bowl, every glass ....that is a $2.00 charge...he can pay for her to have a cruise with the women's group from the church, a monthly pedicure, manicure and massage, and give her Tuesday nights off from fixing dinner!

Answer 7

seriously, that's a tough one. I think that if these problems are just little problems that lead to bigger problems like problems in the marriage, adultery or plain disrespect, than something should be done. I think the husband should have enough desceny to clean up after himself and the wife is definitely allowed to talk to him about it. But as Dr. Phil says, pick your battles. It may be really irrelevant or that big a problem.

Answer 8

tell your friend that everytime her husband lays something around just call him ans say "honey would you come here a minute? and when he gets there say please pick that up and put it back where you got it then say sweetly "THANK YOU" do that a few times to get him in the habit.I did that to my husband and now I rearely even have to ask.Sometimes if they are difficult if you see something you know they will be wanting very soon,hide it and when they start looking for it ,ask what r you lookinf for? when they tell you say "Oh im so srry thats why I always insist you put your things back in there place,but only do this if the first idea doesn,t work

Answer 9

It is your friends responsibility to deal with the problem (if it is a problem) and to fix her own marriage. I hate people like you who meddle in other peoples marriages. Perhaps it is understood between them that the house is her domain and that outside and bringing home the bacon is his job. While I try to make my wifes job easier by picking up after myself and doing the housework that she askes me to do, I do not actively run the house. I work outside the home and deal with all the other outside issues. Old fashioned but effective division of responsibilities.

I love it when people make ALWAYS and NEVER statements to support their arguments. It is ALMOST never true that someone ALWAYS or NEVER does something. You just choose to remember what you want to.

Answer 10

Yes, she doesn't have a job. She has chosen to be a housewife. We do the cleaning and laundry and cooking. He is working hard enough to bring home money to pay the bills, and support her life style. A marriage is about dividing responsibility. My husband works and I don't, so while he is making to money for me to go shopping and have fun, I do something for him. He's working all day while I spend his money, it's not right for him to come home and do dishes and cook.