my wife left me 2 years ago. she did not get in touch for months and months. i then got married myself after a year and last week my ex got in touch.. she cried and cried. she says she got married a few weeks ago and says she made a mistake. now she wants to meet up with me but i know we going to end up in bed and also she will want to talk about the future.. i dont know wat to say or do.. i still love her and never really got over her... but i am married now but i know she is going to shed a lot of tears.. her tears make me go all weak... please help and tellme wat i should do?
2006-09-30 14:10:32 · 34 answers · asked by aladinscaves 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Do not fall for her pity party. Be a man and keep your vows to your present wife. I would not even let the ex around to display all of the drama. She made her bed, she can sleep there. Good luck.
2006-09-30 14:13:26 · answer #1 · answered by Lyn M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you still love your ex-wife and never really got over her, then why did you get remarried? You need to take a time out and think about that woman that you are married to now! Do you love your present wife? If so, you wouldn't even think of going to bed with your ex and talk about the future being with her. If you want to screw around on your poor wife, at least give her the common courtesy of telling her before you do! That way she can try to prepare for the heartbreak that you seem to think you're going to give her. I wouldn't let my ex-wife's tears bother me one bit. Did she give a crap about the tears you shed for her 2 years ago? If you truly love your present wife, than tell your ex right off, that you are happy, and don't think it's a good idea to get together at this point. If she left you once, if you get back together with her, she'll leave you again. Then where will you be? Without her AND without your present wife. As I see it now, it lies in your hands, and I hope you make the right decision. Good luck in whatever you decide!!
2006-09-30 14:27:07 · answer #2 · answered by Jillybeanyweiney 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming there was a divorce in here aswell - otherwise to my knowledge you couldn't have gotten married again and neither could she. There are many questions you have to ask yourself.
#1) Do you love - in good times and in bad, for always and forever - your current wife?
#2) Do you think you can teach "an old dog new tricks"? If it's happened once - will it happen again?
#3) What will she gain from "hooking up" with you again after all these years?
#4) What will YOU gain from "hooking" back up with her after all these years?
#5) What would you LOSE if you hooked up with her again?
You have to weigh these questions and many - MANY more. Only you know what is the right thing for you to do.
My own personal opinion - if you love your current wife, then don't bother with the old, as in the end you'll lose it all!
AND - Oh Please with the "tears" do you have any idea how many women can turn the water works on with the snap of ones fingers? Do you?!? I do. These so called "woman" who whine and snot to get what they want ... i find it disgusting. I couldn't force a tear no matter how hard i try - nor would i want to. I don't want anyone kissing my *** just cause i blew my nose! Tears are heart jerkers and one is not suppose to jerk those strings for just any reason - especially to get what they want. Tears are for real purpose - and when in use your loved ones heart strings are already being jerked, your tears let them know there being supported. Don't fall for the water works. (I know this is not all woman there are exceptions - but you really must know the person inside and out twice over in order to know of which breed they are. Whiners or Women!) Good Luck to you in life in general - let your heart lead the way!
2006-09-30 14:27:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you are being serious, i going to be harsh with you.
there's a lot of info. missing i.e. why did she left you in the first place? were you or her cheating?
do you love your new wife?
I'm going to guess it wasn't a obvious fault of yours.
firstly you are a sucker for tears, it's one of the oldest weapons in an woman's arsenal, particularly a manipulative person. most woman do it to a certain degree (men have there ways too).
she left you, didn't bother to contact you until all went pear shape for her. who did she call to bawl to, Mr softy. not even bother if you have a new life or not. most average caring people wouldn't have the neck to phone an ex after doing what she did and look for sympathy. it seems like you rebounded onto your new wife from her (ex) and it looks like you have made up your mind to bed her. if you are thinking with your pecker go ahead and get what you deserved. if you are a man, cop on and show some compassion to the woman that you marry (not your ex), she took you on with your emotional baggage and all. few people would.
maybe you were to soft for her in the first place and that's why she left because she could walk all over you.
if it was just you and her, go for it.
but there's a third person to be consider your wife.
if you are a nice guy (and i think you are) you met the wrong woman the first time around, leave it go and put it down to experience.
with the info. given that's all the advice i can give you.
2006-09-30 15:21:35 · answer #4 · answered by sycamore 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are remarried now. You have made a commitment to your new wife. Stay away from your ex!!!! Do not even talk to her on the phone!!! No emails! No text messages! No instant messaging! NO CONTACT AT ALL!!!!!! She's still the same woman who walked out on you 2 years ago, leaving you high and dry. Now she's going to do it to husband #2.
What she does about her new marriage is her business. The only control you have in this situation is your own behavior. Be a stand up kind of guy and be true to your wife. Stay away from the ex and focus on your bride. God bless!
2006-09-30 14:27:10 · answer #5 · answered by celticwoman777 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Na, mate, dont do it! Cut all ties with your ex, nomatter how tempting it may seem now! you could end up messing up big style, u obviously love you current wife, is it worth risking what you have. You and your ex finished for a reason, and that doesnt just go away. Make your feelings clear to her that u never want contact again, nomatter how hard or harsh it may seem now, it is the right and only thing to do. Its the only way to move on. Dont even consider remaining friends, that is such a bad idea.
2006-09-30 14:19:06 · answer #6 · answered by Proinsias 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd hate to be in your shoes. Firstly look at the worse scenario...you meet your ex and sleep with her etc then your new wife finds out or it maybe the case that after spending time with your ex that you think your new wife just doesn;t match up to her. Very tricky this one.If there are any kids involved in this then you MUST do right by them.The sensible thing to do is to ignore your ex after she did such a thing to you but I know how you feel. Idont know what type of a person you are but you are heading for guaranteed trouble if you meet up with her ,you just have to work out how to deal with the consequencesYou could end up with nothing.It's cruel of your ex do put this on you.Go with your gut instinct and be strong.I wish you luck man!
2006-09-30 14:24:37 · answer #7 · answered by returnofkarlos 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been in the same situation..DONT GO. There is no point in me saying why not, you know already...otherwise why are you seeking confirmation here? Of course you will always 'love her', you're a nice oke...but your future is with your new wife, don't rock the boat , oh ...by the way, tell your new wife she deserves to know what is going on.x
2006-09-30 14:16:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you said your wife left you 2 years ago but did not mention you were divorced.... you moved on in your life and so has she... I would not meet up with your 1st wife because you are going to open a can of worms that you you may not be able to deal with....and if she made such a mistake... why did it take her so long to get in touch with you..... be true to your current marriage.. or you may end up with no one but yourself
2006-09-30 14:18:11 · answer #9 · answered by oracle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to ignore this request, she left you and since then you have moved on in your life, it isn't fair of your ex wife to expect to be able to pick you up and drop you when it takes her fancy, if you still love her then you should never have remarried, but you have, if you intend to see ex wife then at least be honest and tell present wife, prepare for tears from her too, I would not be happy!! you have 2 choices, ignore request as I suggest, or meet up and prepare yourself for another divorce because it won't stop at one meeting and this is where you will end up, divorce courts, is this what you want??
2006-09-30 18:38:42 · answer #10 · answered by pottydotty 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋