but have NO sex life. my husband always makes excuses: the pressure before the wedding, stress from work, the pregnancy...i'm deeply hurt and feel unatrractive and am not sexually satisfied. is there hope? can you fix it?
i'm madly in love with my husband and dont want to leave or cheat. suggestions?
2006-09-30 13:30:09 · 21 answers · asked by danar 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Evidently you have a sex life or you wouldn't be expecting ur first child. maybe he is nervous, and maybe u should sit him down and chat with him.
2006-09-30 13:33:03 · answer #1 · answered by *AMY* 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh yeah....feel that, it's called life. How stressed are you right now?
You need to invest in your relationship, do something for him and see what happens. Maybe he'll feel like doing something for you? Imagine what a healthy marriage with a good sex life is, think about it for a minute and get an idea of what you could possibly do. Some couples need to reinvent their relationship from time to time. Do what you would do if you had just met him, and don't pressure him. He'll come to you. AND, don't take on too much! Stress can ruin your sex life.
2006-09-30 13:56:55 · answer #2 · answered by DanaZ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sure your husband still loves you but just imagine a new wife a kid on the way (was the baby planned)and his sexy bride now not so sexy,i no it sounds crude but he is not use to seeing you like this and have you considerd that you might have changed during the pregnancy. men tend to allow women to be more dominant during the pregnancy by allowing them to have there way but secretly brood over the decision that they allowe there spouses to make , they try to create a stress free enviroment for there spouse. newly wed husbands or first time fatheres tend to believe that they are hurting you when making love to you in the advance stages of pregnancy . you need to find out from hubby what is the matter or you might want to invIte him with you to your next check up so that he can question the Dr as to any concern that he may have involve him in the pregnancy remember you both are pregnant you might be bearer but he suffers all the same , so lighten up and involve him more.
2006-09-30 13:43:11 · answer #3 · answered by gasmanrolle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what happened to me & the ex when we were married.
Later during her pregnancy her body chemistry changed. And she P.U. stunk, bad. Her vag smelled something horrible. I know that it was body chemistry because she ALWAYS took care of herself 'down there'. Good hygine. I could smell it, but she couldn't.
The only time I could get me any was just after she'd showered, if not, no go. The smell was overpowering and my wang wouldn't rise if you hooked it up to a crane. Before though, we always had a very good sex life, but during those later months... ugggggh!
Now me and my first wife banged away until the night her water broke. No problem there. There may be a physical reason why he doesn't want to but I think it's more psychological and he doesn't want to express his true feelings in order to spare yours.
2006-09-30 15:09:38 · answer #4 · answered by Larry F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you have certain expectations of him as your husband. And that you need certain needs fulfilled. Be direct. Maybe you'll find out whats really bothering him. Everyone has stress, but not everyone avoids their spouse because of it. If he uses the excuse of being stressed out, tell him he needs to get his mind off of it. Give him a massage with oils, use candles, get some wine in him. Ask him what you can do, as his wife to help. And let him know what you need too.
2006-09-30 13:38:02 · answer #5 · answered by MoMoney23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been thru this and got the same excuses, except I wasn't ever pregnant! I found out later that he messed around with my best friend!! Yep! Don't go cheat. I know you feel unattractive and it's a total bummer when your not getting what you want in the sack!! When he goes off to work have you ever heard of satisfing yourself?
And....you need to be telling him the things you just told all of us! We can't fix it, you're gonna need to and hopefully your husband will want to work with you!
2006-09-30 13:44:14 · answer #6 · answered by yokrem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how to explain prior to your pregnancy, but expecting can really turn off a guy. It really has nothing to do with you or your looks, its the baby growing inside of you. It is really normal, so don't stress about it too much. The only thought i have about before you were pregnant is maybe he has not had very much experience and is shy about his performance.
2006-09-30 16:12:25 · answer #7 · answered by lindsayclaireanne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a) Tell him how you feel and ask him for 1 compliment a day for 1 month. If he misses a day - you make love. Let him have fun with the issue.
b) Accept the fact marriage and family may lesson his drive for a time.
c) Approaching a pregnant woman would scare me to death - and we have 4 kids. Remember, pregnancy is not FDA certified for males.
2006-09-30 13:37:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How was the sex prior to the marriage? Were there any red flags that you ignored? I am not sure how far along in your pregnancy you are, but if you are never to far to put on something sexy, give him a good BJ, and right when he is nice and hard, sit on it. He couldn't resist that (trust me). If this does not work, makes sure he is not getting it from somewhere else.
2006-09-30 13:37:42 · answer #9 · answered by LadyJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient. Some guys feel sex may hurt the baby or the woman, so they're afraid to do anything. Apparently he is attracted to you and able to have sex...since he married you and you're pregnant. Don't let hormonal changes in you or his fears lead you to make mistakes that you will later regret
2006-09-30 13:35:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You had to have done it at least once if you are expecting. How far along are you? Is he afraid he will hurt the baby? Talk to him, tell him how you feel. You may be surprised if he expresses his concerns or fears. Don't let the pregnant hormones make you crazy.
2006-09-30 13:36:16 · answer #11 · answered by twoshotjudy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋