Different scenario, same 2 schools: teachers' response different...?

Question

I asked a question about an hour ago about why teacher's respond differently.
This is a different situation, but still true:

Middle school teachers notice a student's school work suffering and discover that the child's parents are divorcing.

Again, 2 different schools.
Each student is taught by teachers who are teaching as a team.
One team of teachers has a conference with the child and parents to work out how best to help student.
The other team also had a conference but also told the student that even the teachers have their personal problems but that, like them, the student should learn to leave their personal problems at the door.
Appropriate advice for an 11 year old?

I'm still wondering WHY there is such a difference with the way the teachers deal with the students.

Lets assume that both sets of teachers have approximately the same number of years experience and the same amount of time working together.

Answer 1

Well, first and foremost, the teachers should not have done a conference alone with the parents and the kids...they should have also had a child psychologist, or a therapist on hand. While teachers have experiance dealing with kids, they cannot make a medical analysis on the state of the child.

Personally, I dont believe that what they did was proper. The main thing is that the second group should not have told the student to leave the problems at the door. At the age of 11, you still dont have the ability to remove yourself from your emotions. It is even cruel to expect a child to be able to do this. While I completely agree that they needed to take some type of action, there should of been a private conference between the parents and the teachers first. There really is no need to bring a young child who is going through a hard time into another problem. If that hadnt worked, then, a conference might have been held with both the parents and the child along with the teachers. For both, the teachers should have either arranged for a psychologist to be in attendance, or to be easily accessible.

About why there is such a difference between teachers...I think that it is the inevitable fact that teachers bring in their own childhood, and their own styles into the classroom. For example, one of my teachers, while growing up hated to hear his teachers lecturing, and because of this, he refuses to lecture. This is a personal style that came about because of his childhood.

Personally, I wouldnt want all the teachers to be the same...there is a certain sense of excitement when you meet every new teacher, for each one is a new experience.

Answer 2

Because after all, teachers are people too. Teaching is not a "by the numbers" process -its not something done by a manual. I would be SURPRISED if two sets of teachers responded in the exact same way.

Is it appropriate to tell an 11 year old student to "leave their personal problems" at the door? Yes and No. Is it the absolute truth? Yes. When you're in school, you're in school to learn regardless of what's going on outside the classroom. Is it always possible -of course not. So yeah it might have been insensitive to say that kind of thing.

Of course you do have to consider another factor. Is the child using the emotional problems as an excuse to get out of work... is he/she making any effort to try to get through the work or just tossing his/her hands up in the air and quitting. The former deserves some patience and respect, the latter needs to be dealt with.

Teachers go through a lot of crap from students and their parents. I understand how they can become frustrated, especially when parents get at odds with them (scary thing is, the teacher spends more time with the kid than the parent some times). They are human beings too... that doesn't mean they get a pass... but they we should give them the benefit of the doubt when possible.