I really can`t understand him anymore ...what should I do... he loves me,we are almoast 5 years together,we have a lot of good times together,and we are very happy ,but sometimes he is just a jerk...everyone must do as he sais,and everything must be like he wants it...If I would ever say anything or disagree with him,he gets mad...I am tired of this...I know I can`t be always right,but he can`t either,and after all,he makes me cry,yells and sais really bad things to me,after ten minutes he forgets about it,but I just cannot forget the words and insults he brings to me...
This isn`t happening often but I don`t want it to happen ever again...what can I do to change this,to change his point of view that "the world belongs to him"?
2006-09-30 13:28:44 · 13 answers · asked by karla 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I was in a simillar situation with my fiance...he got used to it,me to do everything he wanted,everybody to do as he wanted...but this has a cure.you can start by not doing anything he wants to,and when he insults you,don`t just start crying and hide,go for him,tell him what you`ve got to say make him feel little aswell.for example if he sais,youre not good at that,tell him something he is not good at.anything he sais reply it,cause it can`t be that he is perfect and has no mistakes.after the fight you will see he will come back and ask you...were you really serious when you said that?at least it worked for me,I made him feel as insignifiant he made me once feel.but this is now over for a long time,cause he understood,that I can insult him as good as he did,and he understood that I am not here for making shore he hasn`t got to moove a muscle,and be alwazs pleased,but for this you must talk a lot,and never loose your nerve...when he yells,don`t yell,just say it what you`ve got to say with a calm tone.Try not to loose yourself cause as much you will reply as much he will say.You must have the last word.but in a calm way,he will just run crazy to see as calm as you are,and he will stop,it is like regrow him up,cause it was your mistake from the beginning not showing that he has to respect you.he doesn`t need medication,and he doesn`t need any psyhic,just be always calm,and do as I said,you will see after the first fight when you will act like that,ignorant,and calm,he ask himself what happened,and he will be affraid that you might leave if he doesn`t change,so if his love to you is big enough,that should teach him a lesson and never do as it again.
Good Luck
Kiss
2006-10-01 04:02:21 · answer #1 · answered by donatella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds bipolar. Has he ever been seen by a dr. that could let him know whether he is or not? If not, try to get him to go. If he refuses, then that tells you pretty much that he is an *ss, always will be an *ss, and you aren't important enough to him to want to get help and curb that "all about me" attitude!
It doesn't matter if it only happens occasionally, you should not ever treat the person you say you love like dirt! Your partner should never make you feel horrible because you didn't do everything to his wants and needs expectation! That isn't a healthy attitude - it's a selfish one! The next time he does it, or hey even better - before it happens again, you need to talk with him and let him know how you feel when he does this. Stand up for yourself and let him know that you don't deserve to be treated like that at all - never - and should he do it again you will walk out of wherever the two of you are and go be around people who treat you with the respect you deserve!!
2006-09-30 20:37:15 · answer #2 · answered by yokrem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him, and tell him how it makes you feel, tell him that the things he says to you hurts, tell him it has to stop,and that you have feelings. also. Ask him if he thinks he has a problem, with dealing with issues. May be the two of you can go for counseling. If not you better get out of this relationship, don"t waste any more time and energy here. Because he is going to get worst.
2006-09-30 20:45:43 · answer #3 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to me in a relationship. I didn't even know I was behaving badly making my girlfriend do what I said etc. Then one day she threw something down a told me to do it myself she said," I'm not your N.i.g.g.e.r". It just blew me away she shocked me into a new way of seeing myself. I then realized how I was treating her. She shocked me awake and I have never been like that again. You have the key to the door, whether you realize it or not.
2006-09-30 20:42:45 · answer #4 · answered by FreeWilly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a scorpion was walking by the river side and needed to get across just then a fox walk by and the scorpion asked could he climb on his back while the fox swam across no said the fox if i do that youll sting me no i wont said the scorpion if i sting you well both drown and die the fox thougt a second and said yes half way across the scorpion stung the fox and as the fox felt the venom filling his body he asked why i could not help it he said its in my natior
2006-09-30 20:41:41 · answer #5 · answered by simon_vodcuff 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on....your with a Control Freak and the only change he is going to make is to get worse. You know this, I suspect you just want someone to tell you to listen to your gut.
2006-09-30 20:33:14 · answer #6 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you say that you love him and allow him to belittle you and try to control you. You need to love yourself enough to say this is enough and I deserve better.
A man will only do what you allow him to do so you are the enabler in this relationship. You need to learn to let go and happiness is not what you described.
2006-09-30 20:32:32 · answer #7 · answered by miss_lady6980 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess about saying hurtful thing is because hes just angry and really doesnt mean it. maybe you should suggest he take depression pills to help with his anger. when hes mad just give him space to cool down dont start trying to calm him down
2006-09-30 20:31:59 · answer #8 · answered by camaroconvertible 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IN THIS WORLD WE HAVE PEOPLE THAT IS CALLED RIGHT PEOPLE.NO MATTER WHAT THEY HAVE TO BE RIGHT MAYBE YOU SHOULD ASK HIM TO TRY A ROLE REVERSAL AND SEE HE LIKES WHEN ITS DONE TO HIM
2006-09-30 20:35:14 · answer #9 · answered by claude j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its all about control,he has such a low self worth he has to control everything. i would seek counciling.
2006-09-30 20:31:39 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋