i have been paying alimony to my ex wife since 1971.i am retired with a pension and ssi disability.he is also retired with a pension and ssi .she is finacially secure with bank accounts and a home that is paid off in full. My orignal new york state divorce decree stated that i pay till she dies or remarries. she has done neither, this is a littel far fetched to be paying for 35 years
2006-09-30 13:17:03 · 7 answers · asked by retdet216 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The standard today is one year of alimony for every 3 to 4 years of marriage. Or when she lives common law or gets remarried. I would go to a lawyer and get some legal advice.
2006-09-30 13:22:44 · answer #1 · answered by Tony 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I live in New York state and have gone through a divorce as well. My ex-husband payed alimony, but only for about two years, with 2 - 3 years being the norm. Back in the 70's, however, it was probably more normal to see the alimony extend to the "remarriage or death" standards. You can't change the divorce decree, but you can petition the courts for a reduction in the alimony based on your income and your ex-wife's income. Call your county court office and ask them to send you a petition to modify your alimony. You'll attend an initial hearing whereas you'll be asked if you would like an attorney. If your financial situation dictates you cannot afford an attorney on your own, you'll be appointed one by the state and your hearing will be postponed until a later date, however, to obtain a state attorney free of charge, you'll need to fill out financial forms for proof of income. If you feel you probably won't be eligible for a state attorney, my best advise is to get all of your financial obligations in order before your court date. Make sure you can show the hearing officer what you recieve and what you pay out, and whatever you do, don't sound bitter or offensive toward your ex. If you get a hearing officer who doesn't look kindly on ex-husbands, you need to be clear and consise and sound compassionate or you'll end up back at square one. Consult a divorce attorney for a consultation. Those initial consultations are normally free of charge, and keep in mind....all attorneys are required by law to accept a certain percentage of pro-bono cases (free of charge) and getting one pro-bono is better than getting one appointed by the state, mostly because their case load isn't as great and they can spend more time on your needs. Check with your local legal-aid office to see if they can refer you to an attorney as well. Legal-aid, however, normally does not accept any family court cases. Best of luck.
2006-09-30 14:42:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask a lawyer if it's possible to get out of paying it at this point......I agree that 35 years is far fetched!! She probably hasn't remarried for that purpose in itself....but I would think there has to be some clause in it about the length of years it has to go......
2006-09-30 13:59:52 · answer #3 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the concept when you initially married her was til death do you part so the court expects you to pay for the rest of your life.
You could always court her and try to remarry her yourself. Maybe try talking to her and explaining your circumstances maybe she would willingly give it up since she is in good financial shape.
2006-09-30 14:23:18 · answer #4 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is messed up. i don't know anything about divorce decrees, but i have a suggestion. take her to court and see about lowering the alimony. if a woman can ask for more, i don't see why a man can't ask for less.
2006-09-30 13:25:41 · answer #5 · answered by xknyghtmayre 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know. Your best bet is to call an attorney.
2006-09-30 13:33:02 · answer #6 · answered by honiebyrd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry, sounds like you are out of luck. call a lawyer.
2006-09-30 13:23:00 · answer #7 · answered by suebdoo518 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋