How did you pull through a breakup/divorce?

Question

It seems like the hardest thing to do is to break up with someone you've been with for years, always sleeping together and eating together, everything else you did together and whatnot. How did you pull through this situation? how long did it take you to get pass this emotional time and regain your happiness?

Answer 1

You need to stay busy. Especially at night or when you have down time. Find your friends and talk to them. Tell them how you feel and be part of their lives. The key here, is to keep mobile--you have to occupy yourself as much as possible.

Now here is the important thing: Separation and divorce causes depression--plain and simple. Depression is a chemical inbalance that NOBODY has control over. So if you get to that point, see a Dr. & get treated: it works. Don't let it go too far-- if you feel you need some help, seek it.

I did lot of crap to stay busy, matinees, walks in the mall, long drives in the country. The sad thing was I never wanted to bother my friends w/my problems. Now that I'm over it and all, they told me that they wished I would have opened up to them so they could of helped. I wished I used that avenue, you should.

In time you'll get better. My time alone w/out my wife was pretty rough, and very quite and lonley. It took a while, but things are better.

You'll see, yime does hel all wounds, just seek help fro friends nd family and keep your mind busy.

Good Luck & Godspeed.............

Answer 2

a divorce/breakup is not an easy thing to go thorough. Know that you are not alone. There are groups of people that get together to talk and share these experiences. Do not think you must go through these alone. Not every situation is the same nor does everyone deal with pain or the loss the same way. However, in time life does go on and things get back to normal. Take the time to do something for yourself everyday and remember that you still have a life of your own. find someone you can talk to and share the problems you are dealing with on a daily basis and day by day you will find that things get better. Do not be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help. You are not the first nor last person to go through this. Remember what they say "this too shall pass".

Answer 3

It IS the hardest thing. Idiots often tell you to just move on, or get over it, or it's for the best. Like those comments help. You will get through this. Things will improve, and you will be happy again. While true, those facts don't help at all now. All you can do is survive the day. Then, survive the next day; then the next, and the next. Someday, you'll realize that it's starting to hurt less. Then, you'll discover something that makes you laugh. Someday, you'll end your day, and realize that you actually enjoyed the day- and your ex, and your marriage IS in the past. The hard part is getting through each day, until that happens. Good luck.

Answer 4

My ex and I have been together for two years before he broke my heart. I thought it was the end of the world and i was very depressed and hurt for the first couple of weeks. I put everything away in my closet that was from him and that reminded me of him. As days and weeks went by tho, it got a lot easier and eventually i did not care anymore and have moved on. After 2 months, I was much better and after 4 completely over him. It hurts at first and you think it's over and that you won't find anyone else or won't love anyone else and be loved. I thought so myself, but now know it isn't true. You will find that special someone who you will love and who will love you. Time heals all wounds. And remember that with every door closing upon you, another one opens...You will find happiness again, and you will realize once you find the right person that you've never been as happy with anyone else before and will look back on your break up and actually be happy that it happened. I hope i was of some help to you :-)

Answer 5

I've heard anywhere from 1 to 2 years before you have your premarital emotional self back. It takes a while but it gets better all the time. I've been divorced for two years and I still get weepy, but only about once a month I think of it.

You have the absolute right attitude, you need to pull through it. You don't 'get over it'. You never stop loving someone you once loved, you just choose not to 'sit' within the painful part. Stay busy, put energy into something else you love...how about yourself? I love to work out, eat better, de-stress with friends, things like that. I'm surprised how much better I felt when I just decided to push through it instead of sitting around and ruminating.

Answer 6

I agree, absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done! Dating/married for over 10 years and I am still working myself after almost 2 years of separation. Therepy helped a little, friends and family helped some but the best resource has been getting involved with my kids, with doing/learning other activities and trying to put my best foot forward. Also trying not to think about what things caused the breakup, that could drive you batty all by itself. Accept where you are at now and don't look back. Good Luck!!


"For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: 'It might have been!'" John Greenleaf Whittier:

Answer 7

The first year was the hardest for me, and special times after that for a couple more years, but as fast as time flies, it was behind me before too long.. To cope, the best thing I found was to stay busy, and move on in my own life. Get out of the house, date, do things you enjoy doing and before you realize it, you'll hardly ever think of them. Good Luck!

Answer 8

To get over one find another an regain your happiness with someone new, is about the only way to forget the other,if there is no chance for the two of you to get back together

Answer 9

Awhile. Try to take the time to get to re know yourself. That is key. You need to accept that you don't need a man in your life to be happy and complete.

Go out, party with your friends and don't forget who you are.

There is a time of wallowing in self pity but if you have any self respect, you come out of that and start your new life.

I'm divorced. Remarried now to the most wonderful guy. Sometimes, it's for the best.

Answer 10

I think its different for everyone, if your ex is someone you see a couple of times a week then I suspect it takes longer. If your ex moves 1800 miles away then its probably shorter.

You also have to consider that each individual is unique, an outgoing personality will probably get and stay involved with new people, just the opposite for others.