I currently live in a apartment with my son's mother but she has'nt been around in a while because she had our son 2 months early and I wanna be there while he grows up but on the flipside of **** she's so damn controlling and I pay for everything in the apartment so if I left what would be the consequences.............
2006-09-30 12:16:56 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
nope and please dont try and stay for the sake of the child, babies know the difference
2006-09-30 12:19:52 · answer #1 · answered by dark rockchick 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The consequence of what? This is a three sided question...
Leaving your g/f could cause many problems if she is as controlling as you say. She may become unco-operative when it comes to seeing your son and start nasty rumours and all the rest of the immature things ppl do when there p/o'd.
If you walk out of the apartment and things are in your name - such as the lease and/or bills - they could get racked and your stung with the balances.
If your talking about walking out on your son - DON'T. You don't have to stay - This goes for both MOM and DAD - Do NOT stay in the relationship IF the only thing keeping you together is the baby. That's the absolute worse situation anyone can place there child into. Even though Mom and Dad are not together - you have the same rights, as if you were together. Sometimes there just a little harder to get a hold of. As the biological father (Here in Canada) with or without mom by your side - you have every right to A) See your child and spend time with him/her. B) Attend and even call to make Dr appointments. C) Attend school functions including parent/teacher interviews and even have a duplicate report card sent to you. With or Without Mom you have rights to this child - so for all you dead beat dads out there - there is NO excuse. BUT as with all things in life everything comes with a price. The price you have to pay in order to keep these rights varies on everbodies personal situation and yes we are talking about child support - a monthly allowance to help the primary caregiver properly care for the child. These amounts vary depending on A) whether it's done through the courts and your income and/or B) whether it's an agreement between biological parents, written, signed and dated in accordance to a mutual agreement and to be renewed as time goes on.
If your in it for the baby - BTW Congrats to Both of You, enjoy your bundle of Joy to the Fullest! - Then Leave ASAP. The longer you stay the harder it will be to take a leave. If your not sure what you wanna do - i also suggest leaving for a significant amount of time - like three months - to clear your head and make what may be the decision of your life. Haveing a baby effects many couples in many different ways - some for the better and some for the worse. You won't know where your baby takes this relationship until the time comes. Either way i wish you lots of luck!
2006-09-30 20:23:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
With kids sometimes you have to put them before yourself but that doesn't mean you need to be used and abused. Tell her how you feel and that you will not stand by letting her take advantage of you. Tell her that a relationship can only survive on trust, honesty, and faith. She needs to pitch in 50/50. If you pay for everything why would you have to go. That should be the other way around.
On the other hand there may be other circumstances that I'm not aware of, is this her first child? If so it takes awhile for a new mother to get adjusted to this new stage in her life. It took me at least 8 months to get at least comfortable but not completely until I had more children to get used to raising kids. (I have 4)
and still we have challenges and I fall behind and when I look back on the hard times I am happy that I have my children's father there supporting me and being by my side. Its not all fun and games but overall I'm glad.
This may be a time where you 2 need to talk it through tell her how you feel listen to how she feels and then you both need to remember that you have a wonderful child that needs you both.
2006-09-30 19:33:57 · answer #3 · answered by Delores B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say try to work things out but if you two are constantly fighting around your son then its for the best that you split up. But you have to remember your son! You have to be there for him even if you and the mother don't get along.
You would still have to pay child support and make sure that he is taken care of. But you need to end things on a good note that way she doesn't run with your son. This is a hard one but honestly try to work things out I mean she is still emotional from having a baby not long ago.
Good Luck!
2006-09-30 19:24:38 · answer #4 · answered by freaking_airhead 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1 child support 2 still pay for everything 3 Babymamma Drama 4she will be controlling u through ur son . On the upside you'd be free to do what you want as long as ur child support is paid.Remember if u don't pay they can garnih ur wages and take ur drivers license .The way it works is you pay according to what you earn .You get a raise you pay more .If you go this route ask for joint custody that way she can't refuse visitation or move out of state.Good Luck!!!
2006-09-30 19:27:47 · answer #5 · answered by Alicia S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A common mistake by parents is thinking that they can make a relationship out of the belief it is better for the kid. The child will suffer because the chemistry will forever be off. Why can't you do the same things for your child whether you are with or without your baby's mother? That is between you and the child. The mother has nothing to do with that. If you continue to be with her without true feelings for her, it will still undoubtly end. You don't want your child to have to deal with that.
2006-09-30 19:22:48 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you would be leaving your child. have you even tried to talk to her and tell her how you feel. did she know you expected her to work. some men support their family and feel they hhave a better marriage when their wife stays at home and takes on the responsibilities. it all depends on what you both knew in the beginning of the relarionship. a child is always the one to suffer. you adults have to start thinking.you see all the warning signs and still have unprotected sex or get married. is it that she is trying to teach you responsibility and you want to be free or is she really controlling??
2006-09-30 19:29:13 · answer #7 · answered by blue_eyes173 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you don't have to be with anyone you don't want to be with. you will still get your son every other weekend or more ifs she's not a b*tch about it.I would not be with anyone controlling or jobless.she will have to pay rent or move. and don't stay just because of the kid if your not happy. life is to short to be with someone like that.
2006-09-30 19:25:16 · answer #8 · answered by smurfette_ftwayne 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as you take care of your boy I wouldn't worry about it. But don't squirm out of doing the right thing - even if it makes you think you're kissing her a**. You've been blessed with a son. You should be celebrating!
2006-09-30 19:19:56 · answer #9 · answered by RAllen1st 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you will still be able to see your child if you leave. Dont stay in a bad relationship for a child. Good luck to you. Maybe couples counseling would help? Take care
2006-09-30 19:20:36 · answer #10 · answered by Michelle : 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't owe her a blessed thing. However, unless she drugged and raped you, you volunteered to help make that baby. Him you owe financial support for 18 years, and him you owe time and attention and thought and considerable sacrifice, because his needs come first. Thought of trying to get custody?
2006-09-30 19:33:51 · answer #11 · answered by #7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋