my dad is now trying to have a relationship with me after 6 yrs... during that time he never called never wrote never came to see me....he only wants to have a relationship with me now so he doesn't have to pay more child support for my sista....what should i do? Should I let him back in my life?
2006-09-30 12:16:18 · 18 answers · asked by hot_mama 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
open the door a crack, but be prepared to close it if you have to, good luck.
2006-09-30 12:18:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a single father. I could never ever imagine life without my daughter. Either he must have been in some very serious trouble for ignoring you for 6 years of your life, especially during a time where it seems like you needed him most, or simply f'd up. My advice, before you start opening that door, tell him why you're angry and ask him what's he going to do to make it right, including paying back child support. If he gives you a song and dance, I'm afraid that's your answer. Unless you feel a real need to bond with your father, I personally would say adios.
2006-09-30 12:24:33 · answer #2 · answered by RAllen1st 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear that you have such a sad r/s with your dad... IMO, it is all his fault. However, try the best you can to forgive him; ask God to help you be able to forgive him. One thing that having a bad r/s with your dad is that you will probably have a life long difficulty in r/s with authority figures, especially men. I am told this can go even as far as your r/s with God. According to the Holy Bible, a husband is the "head" of the household, so your r/s with your husband could also be effected. Your husband is suppose to be an equal partner with you but in a crisis he is the ultimate authority. (God is "head" or authority over the husband). Having a loving r/s with Jesus Christ through God will soften your heart a great deal, take away any bitterness that you may not even be aware that has effected you. And activate a certain amount of the healing process. When Adam 'n Eve disobeyed God and helped themselves to the forbidden fruit, with Satan urging them on, it opened a Pandora's Box of sin, so the world that once was perfect bacame most imperfect. Any blame should go back to Satan... your dad is a victim too, but still, God can be a spiritual father to you. God bless.
2016-03-27 00:11:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what does having a relationship with u have to do with paying child support for your sister?
My dad never paid any child support for us kids and never gave us anything or had contact for 30 plus years. Now that he's old he tries to have contact when he doesnt have a girlfriend around to keep him company. He's still a self centered gigalo at 70 yrs of age. I gave him a few chances over the years,but all I realized was I never really had a "father" and was hurt all over again.
A leopard never changes its spots. Protect yourself from being hurt.
2006-09-30 12:24:11 · answer #4 · answered by kari 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be open to the possibility that he desires a more sincere relationship. Make the effort to try to have a relationship. After he is dead, you dont want to be regreting that you never tried. People can change or at least should be given an opportunity to demonstrate they can.
2006-09-30 12:20:09 · answer #5 · answered by missourim43 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should know.. if he really does want to get to know u better then more powa to ya.. but if itz just so "he doesn't have to pay more child support for your sista" then I wouldn't give him a chance but I wouldn't be harsh about not giving him a chance thought...
2006-09-30 12:19:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear ya! Its a hard subject to give advice on. I haven't talked to my dad in several years, all he did was bring pain and lies.
I know that you want to get to know him and want him in your life but you have to think if its for the best. You already know that he wants in your life so he doesn't have to pay anymore so will he still want to be part of your life once he doesn't have to pay? Do you want to set yourself up for pain? That's up to you but I would try that way you can say you tried.
I did and now I no longer speak to my father and its for the best.
Good luck to you!
2006-09-30 12:36:49 · answer #7 · answered by freaking_airhead 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether true or not, if you believe his motive for wanting to have better relations with you is that selfish, there's no point in a relationship. It's not fair to either of you. You don't trust him. Unless you think you can trust and forgive him, be at best cordial to him.
2006-09-30 12:20:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
we never know what people are thinking or what is going on in their lives, if you do I would tell him please stay in contact this time as it hurts to have you suddenly not contact me dad, I am trying to understand why you have not came around for the past 6 yrs could you explain that to me?
2006-09-30 12:19:26 · answer #9 · answered by ladynamedjane 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, you could just tell him you dont want to talk to him, if he doesnt want to pay for child support then you have a right not to talk to him. no you shouldnt let him in your life. but does child support have to with your sister?
2006-09-30 12:31:23 · answer #10 · answered by dark^wishy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have one dad don't blow the opportunity to get to know him ,why would you worry about the child support any way this should be between your parents kids should not have this worry,by the way even if he comes back in to ur life he still has to support you and your sis
2006-09-30 12:20:55 · answer #11 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋