I have two beautiful teenage daughters.I have been seperated from their mother for over 5 years now.I have always had regular contact with them.The problem is something was said to make me doubt that i am there biological father,i have had these doubts b4 when the children was born,my ex wife had numberous affairs.Should i get DNA tests done,remember these are teenagers now,to find out the truth.The trouble with this i am afraid that i will break my daughters hearts for having these doubts or should i leave well alone.If i have the tests done and prove i am NOT their father then WHAT? I would have too walk away if they weren't my daughters...
2006-09-30 12:11:37 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well its going to hurt either way. Not knowing has to be hard on you also. If you have the DNA test and the finding are negative this doesnt have to stop you from being in their lives. As you stated they are teenager and should know what is going on. We sometimes as adults dont give our kids the benefit of them being mature and being able to handle a situation. Now I am sure you would want to be the one your daughter hear this information from instead of at a family function by some relative. While your wife has had affairs hopefully she was using protection. You said you had doubt before they were born why did you wait so long? Do the girls look like you in anyway? You said you have regular contact with them so talk to them NOW.
2006-09-30 12:24:33 · answer #1 · answered by justturning40 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At this point whether or not you're the biological father or not is moot. You've raised them and have known them all their lives as their Dad. Despite whatever your ex did, they'll ALWAYS be your daughters and you are their Daddy. You did all the hard work in making them who they are today... don't matter a bit to them nor should it to you that bloodwise there's a doubt. Unless you're really curious, I'd let it be. Next time you look into your daughter's smiling eyes let that give you the answer you're looking for... Betcha won't do it. Good luck!
2006-09-30 19:17:45 · answer #2 · answered by RAllen1st 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely get the DNA tests done, but that does mean that you have to walk away from your girls. Ever since the day they were born, they have known only you as "daddy", don't change that--it will probably effect them more than you. Just because you may not their biological father does mean that you cannot be. Good luck!
2006-09-30 19:17:31 · answer #3 · answered by Stefanie K 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say to get a DNA test just to see, but even if they arnt ur biological children you they have been your daughters there whole lives and that should not change. And if you think you wont treat them the same way if they are not urs then dont even take the DNA test.
2006-09-30 19:14:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You would have to walk away if they weren't genetically your daughters? I can't believe you would do that, they are teenagers and have known you as their father their whole lives.
If you must know, get the DNA tests done but never ever tell them or act differently. It's not your responsibility to tell them, you were with their mother, assumed they were yours, raised them and loved them. If she was unfaithful the burden is hers if she chooses to tell them the truth. After all, people love adopted children as their own, this is no different. You raised them, they are yours.
2006-09-30 19:15:35 · answer #5 · answered by BabyRN 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have raised these two girls why throw that a way. You made a investment in them. Do you love them? Would knowing change what you fell for them? How much do you think this would impact their life. They would want to know who their daddy is. could you handle sharing them with some other man? What if only one is your child what would that do to the other child that's not. These other men had your wife for a moment. You have your Daugthers for a life time.Don't lose whats wonderful.
2006-09-30 19:33:45 · answer #6 · answered by mysticstargoddess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Father" is not just biological. If you've been with these girls all their lives, loved them, supported them, cared when they're sick, been there through all their hurts and accomplishments, you are their Father. If what you feel for your daughters would not change regardless of what a DNA test shows then why do it?
2006-09-30 19:21:29 · answer #7 · answered by Avid 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
either way, your daughters think your their father, and you want to break their heart, get a DNA test. but if it still bothers you, secretly get a DNA test. and if you find out that theyr not your real daughters, i think it'll be the best if you still kept in touch with them.
and i totally agree with the girl below.
2006-09-30 19:19:52 · answer #8 · answered by :D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love them like a father loves a daughter - then leave it alone. Like you said then what happens next - possibly your daughters not wanting anything to do with you since they will not trust you.
2014-03-12 01:53:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were me I'd never have a DNA test done!
Enjoy your daughters and families, when they have them. Why ruin the relationship you have with them?
As my wife says "Its the Grandchildren that are the treasures".
Pray about it, ask it in Jesus's name.
But if it were me, I LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE!!!!!!!
2006-09-30 19:21:57 · answer #10 · answered by dcwretiredarmy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋