A male friend of mine likes to talk about the types of women he will and won't date. Every time he mentions a type of woman that isn't good enough for him, I fit the description. Every time. So when he says "I would never date a woman that is xxx" I AM xxx. Why would he say those things to *me*? I don't ever say mean things to him such as "I would never date a balding man" because he's balding and I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings. Of course that's not true that I wouldn't date a balding man, but you get the picture. Am I being too sensitive?
2006-09-30 12:08:25 · 6 answers · asked by Gabrielle 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
maybe he doesn't see xxx in you?
or maybe he's trying to convince himself?
just ask him one day when he says this, "who are you trying to convince, me or you?"
2006-09-30 12:10:34 · answer #1 · answered by Manny 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I like the very first answer. A guy kept describing girls that he wanted to date and I never fit the description. He said he hated tall girls with brown eyes and that they just "werent' his type". But then it turned out that he liked me..so go figure. Maybe he likes you and that scares him so he's trying to convince himself that you're not his type.
2006-09-30 19:24:44 · answer #2 · answered by mlove1307 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, this guy seems like he likes to be in control. You could ask him if he's ever noticed that all of his "imperfect" dates happen to fit your description, but this might cause a fight and you might lose a friend. However if this really begins to bother you, tell him. He might not understand right then, but eventually he will realize that he needs to stop in order to continue to be your friend.
2006-09-30 19:14:44 · answer #3 · answered by glitz2275 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you can NOT say,"gee thanks, i guess that excludes me...." in response to one of his declaratoins he won't date someone who ...whatever you do. because he'll think you thought you thought you were a contender...gee this sounds so junior high! lol anyway you can't go that route, HOWEVER you can go this one...he says,"aaugh i could never date a woman who eats crackers in bed...." (all the while he knows you do eat crackers in bed ) you say,"yes we gals who eat crackers in bed are a bit out of your league!" what you've done is set him up. you've 1. let him know you do what he just described, 2. let him know you aren't gonna change, cause you like your habit, "flaw" whatever and you aren't gonna change and 3 (the REAL SET UP) you've let him be put in a position to say something to excuse his comment. think about it, what would his response be?? would he say"oh i didnt know you did that" (where you can say, oh yea you do. you know i do) or he could say,"well i wouldn't mind dating you even with that habit...i um meant..."(watch him squirm) or he could say,"yea see that's why i've never asked you out!" (and now you can roll your eyes and rule him out as someone who is passive aggressive trying to "get you" riled up with his comments). ooy vey, this he says she says crap is for the birds!! isn't it? well good luck.
2006-09-30 20:30:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get over it. He's not referring to you when he makes those comments, he is just making conversation, thinking you are his friend and listening. I'm sure he isn't trying to insult you... Or next time you could say jokingly "Hey, I'm xxx." and give him a little slap.
2006-09-30 19:14:15 · answer #5 · answered by hello 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, he is passive aggressive, and probably attracted to you but mentally ticking off all the "faults" you have as reasons he can't date you, all the while he is attracted to you. He sounds immature.
2006-09-30 19:11:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋