I suspect him of child moestestation, he does not give me half the affection I desire, he gets most of his kicks through porno, he does not help fix the house, although he is a carpenter by profession. The first reason I listed is why I am separated now, I could not stand living with him even suspecting, he would do that. although when we have sex it is satisfying, we rarely have it. I feel I would be better by myself. But I am , kind of afraid to divorce. Because, I don't know what I will get, in place of him. He does not want to divorce. He will stay married and separated if I will have him.
2006-09-30 11:44:07 · 31 answers · asked by deeyve 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Life too short to be unhappy. Divorce him. Youll be fine.
Youll be dead in a few years do you really want to waste whats left of your time on this eart with this Bozo?
Be brave. You took the first steps now youll take the next and youll be fine.
2006-09-30 11:46:55 · answer #1 · answered by Hillary Dillary 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know the answer to your question. How could you stay married to someone you suspect has harmed a poor innocent child ?. Divorce this pig and run like hell. The fact that he does nothing around the house and gives you no attention doesn't even come into it. There is no way in hell l could ever stay with a man who gets his so called kicks out of watching porno movies and from what you say they are probably of innocent children. He doesn't even deserve a second of consideration. He needs help alright but certainly not from you. DIVORCE him now and get on with your own life. Try and put all this behind you and just be happy.It probably wont be easy for you , but as each day goes by it will only get better. Good Luck.
2006-09-30 12:20:24 · answer #2 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to get some confidence and self-esteem. You need to go back and read what you wrote....if you even think he is molesting someone, you are part of that, unless you do something. There are many places for women to get help/education and be self-supporting. I know of someone in similar situation...she kicked him out, didn't worry about divorce, but was more concerned with education. She earned an Associate Degree and a Bachelors Degree in Criminal Justice. Sex, is nice, but it should not even be a consideration if he is into molestation (or thinking of doing this)/porno. You can learn to do lots of the home repairs or take a class or there is help for you if you contact a women's shelter/crisis center..as they would be able to suggest someone to do the repairs. You deserve better than this. I have been in similar situation....and it is sooo good to be able to take a deep breath, and relax. As to sex, it is more important to think about the possible sex molestation, than your sexual needs, at this time. Try masturbation or a vibrator...or just be happy he is out of your life and you and your family will be better for it.
2006-09-30 11:57:29 · answer #3 · answered by mysterywoman50401 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's willing to stay separated because of the situation of suspected child molestation...Youre best to believe it may be true. Start divorce proceedings dear. What are you hanging onto?
There is no cure for child molesters, sex offenders. That's their turn on and it doesnt go away. Also, you may want to get social services involved immediately. Sheesh!! Get some legal help.
2006-09-30 11:48:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just figure out if youre better off with him or without. But if what you say is true,then youre headed for eventual trouble so it seems youd be better off getting out now before he drags you down with him. Dont think about what tomorrow holds for you because you have to deal with today and the rest will take care of itself. He doesnt want a divorce because he know that you are probably all hes going to get on his road to self destruction and that nobody else would ever want him if the above is true. Good luck
2006-09-30 11:51:27 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you suspect him of child molestation...why is that bc he is not sleeping or actively having sex w/you all of the time. Do you have any other reasons besides those? Bc that is a serious accusation and not one to take lightly. A persons sex drive changes as they get older. You have to kinda change w/that. Do something out of the oridinary that you would not do to keep him coming back for more more often. If youhave gone in the room for 20 years and only laid on your back then he maybe tired of it. Have you ever tried watching the porn w/him and maybe trying some of it? It is never to old to learn something new.
2006-09-30 12:12:39 · answer #6 · answered by Katricia R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!
What a terrible situation to be in, I pray God delivers you from your situation, and provides happiness, and comfort in your life.
Umm, CHILD MOLESTATION????!!! Of who's child? Like it matters, but none the less! First have these allegations been brought to the attention of the authorities in your town? Further more him not fixing the darn house is the last thing to fuss about. You been married 20+ yrs, you know the saying: Pick your battles wisely! Handle that child abuse situation first, you can't even think about the rest until his guilt or innocence is proven.
2006-09-30 12:25:37 · answer #7 · answered by NURSING FOR LIFE!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Laziness is one thing but what the He++ about molestation.What are you saying about yourself by staying with someone you suspect or have good reason to believe this.Please for gods sake report the abuse and get you and the kids as far as way as you can if you have any. Children will lie to protect someone integral that they love.Have them proffessionally examined immediately.I'n every relationship I've made it out of I've always done better because I'm not as stupid to accept the same carp twice.
2006-09-30 11:57:51 · answer #8 · answered by I don't get it 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, did you ask your kids about the molestation? If they say he did he did. Most people that have something for a profession hate to do that when they are off work as they are sick of it! I understand that part.. You might want to get some counseling if you are afraid you will get his twin if you divorce and date again. Good Luck.
2006-09-30 11:49:36 · answer #9 · answered by ladynamedjane 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You MUST end this farce. Life is for living and from what you have said you truly are not experiencing a good life.
You do not have to have a man in your life for it to be a good one. Call it a day, have a fresh start, go forward foot loose and fancy free and if you meet someone who loves and respect you wonderful. You will survive this ordeal and be a better person for doing the right thing now. God Bless.
2006-09-30 11:50:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋