When I came out to my parents, they had all sorts of horrible things to say. For instance, they claimed my children were not safe with me because I'd make them all mentally sick and queer. I pointed out that they're heterosexual and I'm gay, so how could they assume my children would be gay or lesbian? They didn't have an answer, but found other awful things to say.
They did start me thinking. Do I have to worry about being a bad influence?
2006-09-30 11:26:24 · 17 answers · asked by adam peter 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Let me start out with your second question. The existing research is clear: there are no significant differences between the children of heterosexual parents and the children of lesbian and gay parents with respect to mental health. Some parents are a good influence and a few are not, but that has nothing to do with sexual orientation.
Next let's consider your other question. As you pointed out, the sexual orientation of the parents does not determine the sexual orientation of their children, at least in the case of lesbian and gay children of heterosexual parents. There haven't been very many studies that ask whether the children of gay and lesbian parents are more likely to be lesbian and gay than children of heterosexual parents. The research that is available has not found any differences between the two groups.
Here's another way of looking at the question of whether your kids are likely to be gay or lesbian because you are. So what if they are? If there isn't anything wrong with being lesbian or gay, and there is not, sexual orientation doesn't matter. What matters is what kind of a parent you are, and what kind of people your children become.
I hope this helps reduce your worries.
2006-09-30 11:28:28 · answer #1 · answered by Markin Gomez 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ever heard of the addage ,,,, "Like father like son? " ,,,,,,, Well ,,,,,, "Like parent like children" ,,,,,,,, A gay has no business raising children ,,,,, Espeically a child of their own gender ,,,,, Say for instance your son tries to get into foot ball and parents have to attend dinners with their sons ,,,,, How do you think it would make your son feel when his limp toast fem dad went up to shake hands with fathers that have a grip ? I don't know how old they are now but as they grow and see the difference between you and normal people it just might make them hate you ,,,,,,, Either that or join you ,,,,,,, If you love these children then you'd better do some serious thinking ,,,,,, I can't think of ANY THING that would be more humiliating for a son with a queer father than to have to try and function amoung other kids of their own age group ,,,,,,, Children can be very very cruel ,,,,, and if your influence on them isn't enough to hurt them ,,,,, then certainly the treatment they get from their peers would be ,,,,,,, Think about it ,,,,,,
2006-09-30 18:50:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Bad parental influences:
abuse, alcoholism, drug addiction, verbal cruelty, absence, inattentive, unloving, uncaring, emotionally dysfunctional, withdrawn, emotionally insecure, in need of parenting from your child, spiteful, intolerant, angry, hateful, fail to see your child as an individual, unsupportive, lacking boundaries....
As a parent, there are a lot of behaviors that can have a bad influence... being gay isn't one of them.
Btw, most credible studies on gay parenting conclude that there's no significant difference between children of gays and straights, which includes the propensity of the children to be gay.
2006-09-30 18:55:11 · answer #3 · answered by Alex62 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you can't help who you are. Your children will grow up into decent human beings and make they own decision of who they want to be with in the future.
You are not a bad parent.. As long as you are doing what parents is suppose to do, how in the world could they say that you are bad. Do not worry about people talking trash about you, I have learned that when people are negative towards you it will bring you more luck... DON"T WORRY!!! (Good Luck)!!!!
2006-09-30 18:31:47 · answer #4 · answered by Vicky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, by you being gay will not make your children gay. My cousin has children from a previous marriage and he is gay, his children are heterosexual. What caused you to be gay? Were your parents gay? Being gay is not from our parents, our environment, or what we are taught; it is just who we are and how we are born. But what you can do is teach your children to have respect for people from different backgrounds. Just be a parent to them and you have nothing to worry about.
2006-09-30 18:41:53 · answer #5 · answered by noodlenmac0329 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a gay friend who is raising his children from a previous relationship. He is an EXCELLENT father! Who knows if they will be gay or not.....it's not something that is "caused". I think people are born to either be straight or gay. I'd cut down on the time I spent with my parents if it's causing you distress. Good luck.
2006-09-30 18:32:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO!!!, I understand your concern, but let me tell you that there's no cientifical or practical evidence that gay parents doesn't "produce" gay kids, period. Parenting is about love, responsibility, guidance and care, if you follow those mantras then you will have well grown-up kids to feel proud about.
Don't let your parents make assumptions and draw a very clear line between you and them with a lot of diplomacy but firmly make em' clear that you and your kids demand respect. Let me know how are you doing, Good Luck!
Peace!
2006-09-30 19:42:29 · answer #7 · answered by apernett 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love you children and they know it and you see they love you... who cares what your parents say.
Your parent should be supporting you not tearing you down and making you doubt yourself or you fathering. Raise your kids with love , respect, values and teach them tolerance. Teach them the importance of getting an education and support them in their life decisions. That's all you can do. The rest is up to them...
My daughter is lesbian, she has 2 beautiful daughters and i would kick any ones butt if they talked to my daughter that way.
Her lifestyle will NOT decide their lifestyle, my grand daughters someday will choose later on for themselves.
Just love your kids..... your parents are the ones that will regret their words in the end...
Good Luck! ! ! !
2006-09-30 18:35:23 · answer #8 · answered by mommakaye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you do have to worry about that, but not for the reason you think. All parents worry about how their kids will develop and turn out. Concentrate on being the best father you can be, not on your orientation.
2006-09-30 18:30:38 · answer #9 · answered by Carlos R 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If thats the case, youre parents must be gay.
They influinced you right?
No, youre childrens sexual oreintation will be decided by them and them alone. Granted you have exposed them to broader way of thinking, they should grow to be more tolerant than youre parents. The only way youre oreintation will influince theres., is if you buy youre son a barbie to go along with his g.i joe lol.
or a skirt every time you buy him pants.
2006-09-30 18:34:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋