For a week now my Mom and I had made plans to spend today together. She called me at the last minute and said she had to take my niece to a birthday party instead. I love my niece and my Mom but I am really hurt by this. I think that Mom should have kept her word to me and that my brother should be responsible for his children and that just because he can't take her doesn't mean Mom has to. And it was like she just said yes to him immediately. She just brushed me aside with no thought at all. I don't know how to feel about this.
2006-09-30 11:24:57 · 12 answers · asked by Dhara 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ok...perhaps I should add further to this so that some of you might understand and no I am not young I happen to be 32 years old. I spent two months with her recently taking care of her after my father passed away in July. During this time I had to put my own life as well as my grief on hold. Unfortunately, this is usually what I end up having to do. Only the thing is, I ended up having a nervous breakdown about a month ago and am on serious medication that does not allow me to work or drive. She knows what I'm going through as well as how much I love my niece. I'm just tired of being there for everyone only to have them bail on me when I need them.
2006-09-30 16:38:03 · update #1
If it's a pattern, it is a hurtful thing to do.
If it was just a one-time thing, don't ponder it too much.
2006-09-30 11:29:55 · answer #1 · answered by espo 2 · 16⤊ 0⤋
The only way that you have a good relationship with your mother is because she was there for you when you needed her. your mom is doing the same thing for your niece. Don't feel bad just let your mom know how you felt and move on. Moms/grandmothers are the spread so thin because there hearts are so big.
2006-09-30 18:32:30 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. B 1 · 11⤊ 1⤋
Your mom feels like she has to divide her time with the needs of her granddaughter also. She may be feeling a little guilty right now because she had to break the date with you. Ask her about it and I bet her answer will be similar to mine. I have the same problem with spending enough quality time with my children and grandchildren. This doesn't mean she don't take your needs seriously. She may feel like you are the stronger one. You may be thinking you are the only one she can depend on to understand. This will take a lot of patience on your part. It is good that you want to spend time with her. This tells me she is a nice person to be with. She will always appreciate you for understanding in a time of crisis.
2006-09-30 18:40:03 · answer #3 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 11⤊ 1⤋
Everybody has the right to feel hurt! But i know how u feel. It happens sometimes but its not cuz ur mom loves u any less. You must be very young thinking this way. She did not brush u off she just felt like it was out of her hands. Dont worry about it. If it does just speak to her.
2006-09-30 18:34:38 · answer #4 · answered by deanda 3 · 11⤊ 1⤋
Yes, and no. Mom probably felt bad that she had to break off her plans w/you but felt she needed to do so for the grandchild. Your mom was put into a tough situation and she probably figured that you would be able to handle it. If you hold a grudge then you will give the impression that you are jealous of your neice.
2006-09-30 18:40:18 · answer #5 · answered by Katricia R 1 · 11⤊ 1⤋
I think you have a right to feel slighted and hurt. I would tell your mom exactly how you feel and that you do not ever want her to make plans with you and break them at the last moment again. Give her another chance, and if she does it again, tell her that you will not plan anything else with her and tell her why.
Your mother doesn't seem to respect you.
2006-09-30 18:28:45 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 11⤊ 1⤋
yes, u ar right to feel hurt by this i know i would. She is not setting a very good example the least she could have done is invite u to the birthday party. Sorry!
2006-09-30 18:30:36 · answer #7 · answered by coopchic 5 · 11⤊ 1⤋
It is understandable that you would feel hurt in this situation-not much that you can do about it though. A person can't help how they feel. maybe you should try to discuss it with your mom.
2006-09-30 18:31:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 11⤊ 1⤋
yes because she made a promise to u and broke it, also that can ruin the trust between a mother and daughter i would really talk to ur mother and tell her how u feel
2006-09-30 18:39:20 · answer #9 · answered by A soldiers wife 4 · 11⤊ 1⤋
Yes you are right to feel hurt. i know what your coming from because my parents did it to me and my twin sister. its called favortism. I hate it but it happens.. nothing you can really do.. but to show love torwards then and hope one day it stops. i felt hurt to. i felt like i didnt matter but later learned after i tryed something dramatic. they started to cared. weird i know. but they dont want to be blamed. Your her daughter. she shouldnt of did that. You are right he is responsible for his own kid. go with your heart.. trust me its favortism. i didnt think it was at first but then i saw the same thing in my God-mother. And after she died i started to see it in my parents. it hurt me.. but all i did was push them away and hurt myself. so i just learned to love.. then feel lost within my family. i had to except it the way it was. Nothing you can really do except talk to her about it.
2006-09-30 18:30:12 · answer #10 · answered by Jewelz 2 · 11⤊ 1⤋