I'm getting married soon, but he was married once before. It only lasted2 and a half years, and he didn't love her. Married her really, cause she asked him to. They didn't have a "real" marrige. But, I can't forget that he was married, and that I'm not his first wife!!!!
Help!!!
2006-09-30 11:19:17 · 25 answers · asked by MRS MCCRUM 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you cannot accept it you should not marry him. It has nothing to do with you. But it sems to bother. Maybe you should move on and find one who was never married!!
2006-09-30 11:20:56 · answer #1 · answered by -------- 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you so worried about not being the first wife ? After all it happens every day. Do you have some other concerns like perhaps you only have his side of the story about his first marriage. He can tell you anything he wants and you really only have his side of it all. You think about it, how many men do you know that would say something like l only married her cause she asked me to. What sort of **** is that. Also what do you mean by they didn't have a real marriage. I would be real concerned about the things he has said rather than the fact you are not the first. Do you really know this man well enough to marry him. Why is he telling you he didn't love her ? How do you know this wont be you in 2 and a half years ? Please if you haven't already just think about everything you have said. Do you want to be his next divorce. Look l dont know the two of you but from the sounds of things I think you have issues yourself so PLEASE sort them out before you take the next step . Good Luck. Be Happy.
2006-09-30 11:49:55 · answer #2 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something that should be resolved before you do get married. It wouldn't matter to me personally, only because you've already said that he doesn't love his ex-wife. So if there are no children involved, there shouldn't be any reason for the two to have contact. If they are keeping in touch, that would throw a red flag up for me. But as long as he is totally committed to you and only you, there really shouldn't be a problem. You might consider counseling to help you to get over your concerns. Many Church's have pastors that are more than happy to talk with you, if you can't afford to pay someone. I hope all goes well for you, honey. Good luck and God Bless!
2006-09-30 11:24:09 · answer #3 · answered by kevin_p0 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness!! You're engaged and you're having difficulty with the fact that he was married before. If you can't deal with this problem, I'm afraid that many more are coming and don't think you will cope well. You sound so insecure, I wish you would put off the idea of marriage to him or anyone and just seek some help so you can go into relationship relatively healthy. Just have some fun for now and get to know yourself. Good luck and take care.
2006-09-30 11:26:45 · answer #4 · answered by Dame Di 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Based on what you have said here you are making a mistake in marrying this man. Not only was it wrong to plan a wedding to a man you are not committed to but you talk about him like he is a creep. What kind of man marries a woman he does not love? How do you know he really loves you if he married the last one and didn't love her? You should not marry this man because based on what you have said here you do not admire or respect him. It would not be fair to him and it would be selfish of you to go through with this marriage.
2006-09-30 11:25:33 · answer #5 · answered by B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get over it or don't. Also you may want to ask him if he considers when he marries you that the marriage will be "real" He's probably telling you these things because he knows how uneasy you are about his past. What you should be asking yourself is if you are ready to make him your husband, because if you truly were sure and truly loved him enough for marriage then a previous marriage would not and should not matter. Think this over real carefully so that you don't become a statistic in divorce.
2006-09-30 11:23:56 · answer #6 · answered by po8t1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is kinda like most people now days. You know that the other person has slep with another person. You just don't think of it that way. You know you have slept with others but you know in the end it will be all good. Don't worry too much on the small things, well it was a big thing then but if he wants to marry you then think of the other marrage as a speed bump.
2006-09-30 11:22:43 · answer #7 · answered by drunken monkey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why women do this. Why are you asking now after knowing when you met him, while you were dating, before you were engaged.... If it bothered you then, he shouldn't be your fiance now. If a divorced man has always been an issue for you, you shouldn't have proceeded forward with the relationship. Give me a break!
They have these things called a past and a present. Anything before you is considered the past. You are now living in what is called the present. What you should be concerned with is his reasons for marrying you if he married his ex simply because she asked and not because he loved her.
2006-09-30 15:07:17 · answer #8 · answered by TIRED 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband too was married once before me for a short time as well. Him and her were married because she tricked him into thinking she was pregnant with his baby. Needless to say he wised up.
him and I have been married for almost 15 years. Was hard at first knowing he was married before but now I am glad we were married. Just try to put it in the back of your mind hun. You yourself said it wasn't a "real" marriage. And if you love him you will overcome the past . ;-)
2006-09-30 11:22:06 · answer #9 · answered by happymomma3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I assume you will have to face this fact because you nor him can change it. I have been married before and so has my husband, the point is, lots of people have been thru previous marriages. If you love this man, then try to forget this fact. If you continously dwell on this, it will drive you insane. Believe me, if he was still wanting to be with this woman, he would be. But he is with you, so suck it up and deal with this fact that you or anyone else can change. Its the past. Good luck!!
2006-09-30 11:39:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you a virgin? Is he to dwell on the fact that he isnt the first to....
If I was him I wouldnt marry you cuz you sound like a carzy person. Jealously shows lack of self esteem and trust. If you were secure in your own skin, you wouldnt give it a second thought. Its not like he is inviting her to th ehoneymoon now is it? Does he have life sized pics of her in his bedroom? IS her pic in his wallet? Does he call her? Get over it. Jealousy is one of the red flags to look for. He should see a big red flag every time you act like that which signifies the fact that you are too young to marry. Maybe you wont act like taht when you grow up a abit
Please pick me i need the points
2006-09-30 11:26:13 · answer #11 · answered by Hillary Dillary 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋