Was I right??????????/?

Question

OK, my husband told me that he had spoken with someone on the net that we knew. He was told by a friend of ours that aa girl was looking for him and wanted to talk to him, so he found her on myspace and had been messaging her. I got upset about it and told him. He said that he would stop talking to her. All this was yesterday. Today, I asked him if he had told her that I was uncomfortable with him and her talking, and he said he was waiting to do so untill she messaged him. That made me VERY mad. I told him if he cared about my feelings at all he would do it before she essaged him again. He said he wasn't going out of his way to do it. That made me even mader. I told him that that is saying that he doesn't care about my feelings in the matter. Was I right? He is going to message her. I am giving him three days to do it. But was I right in saying that? This was all about 20 minutes ago. I mean, he spends all of his time on his computer, it wouldn't have been THAT out of his way.

We have been having a lot of problems latley, but managed to talk today and fix most of them. :)

queenmida..., we new her when we lived in NM. He said that she didn't know we were marriedd, and I told him that she congradulated me when we told everyone.

tjnstloui..., my husband messaged her. He initiated it, he went and tracked her down on my space. She just told a friend that nows how to get in touch with us, that she was wanting to talk to him.

Answer 1

I agree with you!

If he's not willing to send her a message to tell her that you are uncomfortable, and that he wouldn't want to keep doing something that would upset you - then it's because he likes "flirting" with her. He doesn't want to give that up.

I would be pissed. If you're going to make a commitment to be with one person, be with that person. Through good and bad times. Would he like it if you were flirting with another guy on the net? No, then why is it OK for him?

If he doesn't do it, I would.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

It is one thing to talk to someone at random but to actively seek out someone he heard wants to talk with him is not good.

This is a head trip for him. Someone else is interested in him so it is a very strong attraction for him.

Now when you told him you did not want him talking to her that should have been it. It would be hard for him perhaps but you and you feelings should be far more important.

I hate to bring this up but are you sure this is the only one he has talked to? On the computer a lot sounds familiar. Check that out and make sure he is not talking to others because if you have been having problems it is so easy to seek advice and comfort on-line. He may have never intended to take it anywhere but it is still cheating on you.

Answer 3

You were 100% right to make that request. I think you are being more than generous is allowing 3 days. There are boundaries in a marriage that should not be crossed because when they are crossed the potential to damage the marriage opens up. He may not have any bad intentions by talking to this woman but he certainly opened the door for something to happen. I would question why he would not want to "go out of his way" to repair this?? Out of his way or not his marriage should be worth going out his way for.

Answer 4

Well, the girl must be really important to him ,if he is so willing to talk to her.And by what you told he seems to have been more concerned about the other person's feelings rather than yours. I don't know if you were right though by confronting him like that,maybe she wasn't so important for him afterall,but he got upset by your kinda meddling attitude. My guess is that you two have a communication problem,but don't give up easily, you should now better than that...

Answer 5

One of the biggest problems with the internet is people seem to think its real. Don't waste time with this kind of stuff. There are more important things in life than being upset because some girl messaged your husband.

Answer 6

sounds like you have busted him before he has got to cheat on you,believe me if he is making up excuses he isnt going to tell her nothing,but to warn her of you and have her hide like he is talking to her to you..husband doesnt sound to trusting id watch him and id make sure he wasnt on that computer much this is the new modern way people cheat now ..the net so be careful it opens alot of doors and makes it easier for people to cheat.i got a thing u can download go to this site and download it on yhour computer it will show you everything being typed and everything being said and he will not know nothing about or be able to find it even if he was looking then you can see with your own eyes what he has planned..its called refog software..www.refog.com....good luck read all about it there it will tell ya what to do and it works!!

Answer 7

you get the computer, and email her yourself. let her know you are the wife , i you don't want her e-mailing your husband. but before you do that, ask her how do she know your husband.some time a woman must wear the pants.tell him, if he cant do it NOW, then you will. don't let him walk all over you, don't be a push over. if the shoe were on the other foot he would not like it. get even, get dress up, and leave the house if you go no where but to a movie by yourself. let him wonder what is you up to.

Answer 8

If you are trying to work things out then should you not be able to see what each other is talking about on each of your messaging? To be open is the best way to work things out.

Answer 9

talked today and worked out most problems??
What about trust? He contacted her because a friend said she was looking for him, for What??He's married! Please address the real issue. You can't change anyone else's behavior, but you can change yours, can you really trust this man?Harley

Answer 10

You are completely RIGHT. I wouldnt stand for it. Id message that ***** myself....if I were you.