I have been in Iraq for the past year and will return in November. I would like for my fiance to spend Christmas with me and my family but she would like to spend it with her family in her state and have me spend it with my family in another state. She thinks that we should wait until after we get married to start switching holidays. I think we should now to get used to it. I am pissed that she is being so selfish when I would spend Christmas with her if the situation was in reverse. The last two Christames I have been without my parents and I want to be with them but I want to be with her. If it comes down to it, I will spend Christmas with her and her family, but I will miss my family. What do you think I should do?
2006-09-30 10:15:37 · 11 answers · asked by souplane21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are getting a preview of what she will be like after you are married. She is a person who expects to get her own way no matter what. If she won't agree to being with you and your family after all you've been through, think very carefully about marrying her. It sounds like she will make your life miserable. Find a nicer, more understanding girl.
2006-09-30 10:23:16 · answer #1 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
miss her like crazy but spend Christmas with the family u haven't seen for the last two Christmas holidays. your parents need to see u so they can take a breath once u are home from Iraq. if she isn't being considerate of u now , what makes u think its going to get any better once u are married. try standing your ground with her now. u will get a good look into your future with her.
2006-09-30 10:21:47 · answer #2 · answered by skylinbaby 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be with your family during the holidays. I know it would be hard without her, but I do think that she is being selfish. There is two of you in a relationship, and you must compromise. Don't let your family down. Think about how much they miss and worry about you. Your fiance needs to be more understanding.
2006-09-30 10:24:44 · answer #3 · answered by Kimo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having 3 military brothers of 3 diffrent branches of service and ALL have been in Iraq and afgan....i can relate. Why not try to arrange it where both familys come to YOU and your finacee? or make plans for everyone to meet in a place NO one has been to yet-meet in the middle if its possible-create a NEW memory with your loved ones-start a NEW tradition-or since you are the one comming home-maybe just make it for the 2 of you right now-and plan a later Xmas with both ur familys-give you and your fiancee a chance to really take in where you've been and embrace being together and the fact that you've COME HOME.it'll take adjusting...and def. a practice of patients!
2006-09-30 10:30:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be with your Mother! If your girl wants to be selfish then let her be. Your Mother has been waiting for this day the past two years. Don't disappoint her. Remember all she has done for you. And in the end She would NEVER make you make this kind of dissasion. A Mothers love should never come after anything. Good luck.
2006-09-30 10:29:25 · answer #5 · answered by anne04char 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you even think of not being with your family? Have you tried to explain to her how you feel? Why would you have to wait for marriage to switch off holidays? Does she not understand, that even though you love and want to be with her, your family means a lot to you, Isn't that why you are where you are? Doing what your doing? Helping to protect your family and her. Your mom needs you home.
2006-09-30 10:26:27 · answer #6 · answered by bugoff26 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should spend it with your family and dump her. If her family is more important to her than you are, after two years of being apart, Believe me, you'll never spend another Christmas with your family if you marry her. She sounds alot like my son's wife. Run, Fast!
2006-09-30 10:25:03 · answer #7 · answered by oldman 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you're going to get married you'll have a lifetime of Christmas' to spend together. Get over it. She's not being selfish--you are. Family is, obviously, important to this lady. You should be happy for that and respect her for it.
2006-09-30 10:56:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Since you have not spent the past two Christmases with your family, be with them this year. Your fiance is not ready for marriage.
2006-09-30 10:31:18 · answer #9 · answered by farahwonderland2005 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say blood is thicker than water so if i was you let her miss being with you for the holiays and let her do her own thing she will miss you and hopefully not try that stuff again
2006-09-30 10:20:13 · answer #10 · answered by SANDY 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋