I have been in Iraq for the past year and will return in November. I would like for my fiance to spend Christmas with me and my family but she would like to spend it with her family in her state. I am pissed that she is being so selfish when I would spend Christmas with her if the situation was in reverse. The last two Christames I have been without my parents and I want to be with them but I want to be with her. If it comes down to it, I will spend Christmas with her and her family, but I will miss my family. What do you think I should do?
2006-09-30 10:05:01 · 31 answers · asked by souplane21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry, Christmases* (sp)
2006-09-30 10:05:34 · update #1
She is selfish and if she really wanted to be with you it would not matter where it was. Tell her you want to spend it with your parents since you have been gone for a year and if she truely loved and cherished you she will agree to it. You have served our country and I believe your parents need this time with their son. Never allow someone to make you feel you have to choose.
2006-09-30 10:13:04 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Dude, this is just how they are. DO NOT GIVE INTO HER or she will always try to make you do so. They are always selfish yet act as if you are when you wont give into them. It doesnt matter what it would be if the situation were reversed, for she would only use different reasoning for what she wanted. You are seeing signs of how she is man. Decide now if this is what you want to deal with the rest of your life.
Remember this, once you give in, she has you. Set the standard now. If it makes her cut it off, then at least it hasnt cost you that much aside from missing her and some time. Beats what it could cost you later in a divorce or your being unhappy. No, I dont hate women, I am just realistic about how and what they are and I am giving you that warning as well. Take it as you like, but think on this..
2006-09-30 17:15:39 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend it with your family. Either she'll want to also spend it with you, or she won't, and she'll be the one making that decision, not you. Therefore she can't come back on you about it. She has spent the last several Christmases with her parents, and you have not, so it's only fair the two of you spend it with your parents. However, there's another equitable solution to this also; one of the families could enjoy it a day earlier, or a day later, and you could both attend both. Or perhaps your two families could spend it together.
2006-09-30 17:14:32 · answer #3 · answered by eric l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should spend Christmas with YOUR family. If she wants to be with you and your family on Christmas, let her know she is more than welcome. If she gets upset with you for spending Christmas with your family, and she doesn't want to come, then yes she is being selfish. You could each spend Christmas with your own families, and meet up afterwards (the day after). I am sure your family is going to be SO thankful you are home,and would love to spend that time with you more than you know. So I think you should stay home, whether she wants to come or not. Since you are getting married, it is almost certain you will be with her for the next 75-80 Christmas's to come (hopefully, and God willing).....this one is just VERY important and EXTRA special, and she should realize that. She should understand where you are coming from, and either be extremely willing to accept the fact you won't be with her, or be willing to come to your family. Will your family resent her for taking you away from them this year, since you haven't been here for the past 2? Please see your family!!
2006-09-30 17:14:13 · answer #4 · answered by CBL123 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Spend your Christmas with your family. If she is selfish about this, she will always be selfish. No one needs that in a relationship.
She can spend time with her parents any other time.
2006-09-30 17:14:47 · answer #5 · answered by M. J. B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend the time with your family since you haven't for a while! you ask her to spend christmas with you and your family and she should understand! Once you are married it would be nice if everyone got together or you took turns! You will be better off spending time with your family even if she should be upset-if you spend the time with her and her family then you will not enjoy yourself and you will have an unhappy time!
2006-09-30 17:10:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should be willing to at least compromise to some degree or she really is being selfish. How far apart are the parents? Would it be feasible to see both?
If she isn't willing to at least negotitate then yes she is a selfish b*ch. If she will at least discuss options then try to just figure out what will work best given how much time you have. You should also consider "alternating" holidays with the parents so everyone feels they are getting a 50/50 deal.
2006-09-30 17:13:03 · answer #7 · answered by se7en 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, see if you can reason her out of it. Explain to her how you haven't seen your family for some time and you'd really like to spend Christmas there instead. However, don't get too insistent; if she's really set on being with her family, don't try to fight it too much, as it may just make things worse in the future.
2006-09-30 17:08:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Spend Christmas with your own families then you and her make plans on having your own private Christmas. You better get it settled before you and her marry where you and her will spend future holidays at.
2006-09-30 17:11:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I would spend christmas with your family and if she wants to come along its up to her
2006-09-30 17:12:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋