should i be worried?

Question

just recently i've noticed that all my hubby talks about when he gets home from work is a female co worker. you know "she said this or she said that or she did this & she did that" she also talks about her boyfriend & a couple of days ago we found out where he works or i did anyway my hubby probably already knew but he was all like "that's him thats her boyfriend" he was just moved from graveyard shift to evenings & he was pretty upset about it. he talkss to other people too but he always seems to bring her up. i've meet her once & she is pretty.

Answer 1

Flat out, ask your husband, "Should I be worried about this woman and your interest in her?" If you've been listening carefully to everything he tells you about her, he could have misinterpreted your interest when, in fact, you were constantly weighing what he was saying in your mind to find the point where the scale tips to worry. Ask him.

Answer 2

l would maybe be a little concerned but maybe they just get on really well. As long as he is talking to you about her l dont think you have a problem. Why are you worried about how pretty she is ?. He is married to you so obviously he finds you attractive or he wouldn't have married you. Stop worrying about that kind of miner crap. Maybe she is just like one of the boys at work , have you thought about that. There is every possibility that she is very happy with her own boyfriend and you are worrying about nothing , anyway please dont get yourself all stressed out about something that is probably nothing. Trust me been there and done that ! The more you worry the worse things will seem in your head just try to stress less and ride it out. That is ofcourse unless you get concrete proof that there is something going on with your husband and this woman. That is a completely different ballgame then. For now though try not to worry you are possibly making a mountain out of a molehill. It is very true that if a person has something to hide they certainly do not talk about it especially to there partner so STRESS LESS. Be happy . Hope all works out well for you. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Hmmm...it's not an ideal sign. A 'red' flag sign.
They're probably getting emotionally attached and confiding in each other. Some guys get more comfortable in their workplace as more of a home that their actually home. They spend many hours there! What can you do? Just make sure that the home he comes to at the end of his day is a place that brings him peace and joy and it may never be enough for some guys, unfortunately. Good luck with that really.

Answer 4

Yeah, be concerned. But maybe not worried, per se. I did that with someone too. And I had a HUGE crush on the guy. My husband knew because I talked about the dude so much.

We never did anything though. But it doesn't mean the "emotional cheating" wasn't there. Talk to your hubby matter-of-factly don't flip out or accuse or get too upset. Just ask if there's a problem, and discuss together how to fix it.

Chances are he'll deny it (he may not even realize what's going on with himself at this point). But just tell him that you understand many marriages go through this at times and it's understandable to like or even be attracted to someone else. But tell him you want to stop at situation before it starts. Tell him to be on his Ps and Qs about spending too much time with her, thinking about her, worrying about her BF. Ask him to really think deeply about why he cares and the nature of any feelings he may have for this woman. And address those issues and any related issues in your marriage (if there are any).

Maybe you two can go on a wknd getaway and rekindle things if need be.

Last thought: I had a friend who's hubby left her with their TWO YEAR OLD (maybe one yr old) for a married-with-kids friend of hers. Her belief was that when you see them flirting, nothing's going on yet. But when they stop talking to each other and acting flirty, that's when something's going on and they're sneaking around, hiding it.

Answer 5

It's normal to talk about other co-workers. I mean we spend 8 hours a day with them, and they become a big part of our life. And if he's telling you about her, it's unlikely he's having an affair with her; lest he'd be concealing anything he does with her, even conversations. Thus you need not worry about him cheating on you, as long as he is talking to you about her; it's when he stops talking about her to you that you need to start worrying.

Answer 6

i would take comfort in the fact that he DOES talk about her. Its when it becomes a secret then you should worry. I just went through this with my husband, only she was a secret and a very well kept secret for that matter. Just ask him. Don't accuse, just ask. Explain your fears and just make it sound like you need his reassurance that you two are ok.

Answer 7

Well, I wouldn't panic yet.

What I would do is, start talking about this nice man at the (grocery store, your work, Home Depot, wherever) and see how he likes it. Be coy, and pleasant, just "mention" this man. See what happens.

Let us know.

Answer 8

I think it's definitely a seedy situation. Maybe not yet, because if something was going on, I doubt he'd be talking to you about her, but I think there is for sure a crush thing going on. Maybe just ask him about it???

Answer 9

why dont you ask your husband what is really going on, or ask why he always has to bring this particular person up. Maybe he gets along with her at work really well, and nothing is going on, but you will never know unless you ask

Answer 10

Obviously, your man has his eye on someone else. Don't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. Start talking about someone yourself and see how he reacts to that.