Negative
My life is a negative
Black
And unmanageable
My heart is like film
Rolled up
And hidden
Our love is like a song
Sad at times
But right in the end
Your eyes are like onyx
Dark
And unreadable
My emotions are like hormones
Unexpected
And confusing
Our hands fit together like ying and yang
Your kisses make me giggle and smile
Your touch wants what I desire
Passion drips like rain
And burns like fire
Ending with a miss
Hurting now
Without a kiss
2006-09-30 09:05:47 · 7 answers · asked by hopelessly romantic♥ 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
I love your work , you really really are good, when I read other people's poem and if i really don't think there any good , i won't say anything....
....I see you ran into that kittyrogers, yeah, she loves me too.... I bet you any kind of money when she gets home from work she gives her dog a good kick and says to herself "Ah, now I feel better"
2006-09-30 19:36:29 · answer #1 · answered by laney45 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
2
2006-09-30 16:17:02 · answer #2 · answered by ilovedogsandcats17 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4
2006-09-30 16:32:52 · answer #3 · answered by bobby_singh_rai 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2.
Stop forcing yourself to write. Breath and let the words come to you. You can be so good if you stop forcing yourself. You must believe your soul. You're holding your mind and your mind is telling you what to do. I don't think this is you. It doesn't rip my heart out like this poem should.
2006-09-30 16:36:16 · answer #4 · answered by otter7 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's conflicting... it's implying you are in love, but negative and "black" at the same time. Could be good, if split into 2 different poems.
2006-09-30 16:13:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm... ill give it 9,u got dark passion, i like it used to write these kinda poems til ma mum ripped all ma poetry books....
anyway no matter what others tell u like ur poem needs a life or somethin like that, dont listen to them jus write what u feel ok..
take care
2006-09-30 16:28:45 · answer #6 · answered by ocean princess89 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would give this one a 6 it seems like your holding back i like your other work better
2006-09-30 16:17:50 · answer #7 · answered by Peace 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋