I have been with my bf for about 5 years now and he always speaks of how he will never get married. That leaves me with asking myself do I really want to stay with a man that won't give me that complete committment. I know part of him feels this way because around his "circle" there is really no "good" marriage to admire. Everyone's marriage around him is either no good women or men, or one is cheating on the other, or just something negative within the marriage. Just the other day I made a comment about have a craving for wedding cake, and he said "well we won't ever have that together!", he then went on to say how "he" will never get married. What do you think I should do, say, or what? Please answer and help me! Thank you!
2006-09-30 09:01:40 · 23 answers · asked by ejinelle99 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Either accept it or move on. At least he has been honest with you about his feelings on marriage.
2006-09-30 09:24:54 · answer #1 · answered by Tony 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop being the typical woman for one thing. Why doesnt he have the right to decide if he wants to marry you or anyone else. Just because you want him to is suppose the decide everything? Typical woman view. If the roles were reversed, you would be asking why he isnt being fair and seeing your view or point?
Maybe your boyfreind finds that marriage will be of no benefit to him and possibly only some type of hurt of loss for him. That by the way isnt a completely unreasonable attitude for a man to have. Just look at what happens in divorce cases and how men get shafted, no matter who was at fault.
If you want to marry and he wont, end the relationship and find someone who will marry you. If you want it to be with him so badly, then simply offer to draw up any kind of contract with him that he needs in order to feel protected and then you sign it in your own blood.
2006-09-30 09:11:28 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
5 Years is a long time and if he has not married you yet then he will not marry you.I say explain to him why its important for you get married and let him know that you can not be with someone that will never marry you. I can understand if he is scared but saaying things like we will never have a wedding cake together is mean and rude and very immature.. If after you talk to him about and he still dont marry you I would say move on. There has to be someone out there for. and if you keep wasting your time on him that one guy that will sweep you off your feet might just pass you by b/c you have someone else on your arm
2006-09-30 09:12:20 · answer #3 · answered by Tee 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say it but if your boyfriends keeps insisting that he does not want to get married what he really means is that he does not want to get married to you.
You need to examine your entire relationship honestly and decide whether there is love both ways or just one way. I think that you will probably see many signs that show that he does not really love you. I am in the same situation that he is in. I do not love my girlfriend of 2 years, and she pretends not to see it, and she is all excited about our future.
Well at the end of the day I am sure you will find happiness, though you may have to go through a lot of pain first.
2006-09-30 09:24:18 · answer #4 · answered by jeremycharles7 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just let him know that you love him very much, but you want more. YOu want to get married. If he is willing to throw away 5 years, because he is being hard headed... I don't know, but my bf said the same thing. He never wanted to get married,.... but we are now engaged to be married next year. Just talk to him about it. Tell him if your relationship isn't going to go any further than this, there is no point in staying around
2006-09-30 09:06:11 · answer #5 · answered by collegebusygirl 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I saw this type of thing on Dr. Phil the other day and I agree with what Dr. Phil said. If you truly want to get married then you should stop wasting your time with him. Leave him and try to find happiness with someone else. If he really wants to be with you, he'll come around. If not, he's not right for you. You need to be the strong one in this situation.
2006-09-30 09:58:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Before I can truly answer the question, you have to answer one yourself: do you want to get married? If it is what you want, and it is your ultimate goal, then you have a problem here. He has made his position very clear, he does not want to get married. You should not force him to change his opinion to keep you (trust me you both will regret it). If marriage is what you truly want and he does not want it, I think you have to move on. If you are fine living in a relationship without marriage, then stay. I wish you well!
2006-09-30 09:15:42 · answer #7 · answered by tannedknight45 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes guys says things and don't mean it. Well he probably would like to get married and probably don't know how to handle the situation. Men often say the opposite of what they mean. You have to find they way to talk to him and tell him actually what you want. You both have to come to an understanding about what you want and need out of life.That's the only way you both are going to be happy. good luck in your out come true love is hard to find.
2006-09-30 09:12:44 · answer #8 · answered by hotnpink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has been letting you know for 5 long years that he will never marry you. You should not continue to waste your time. Move on starting right now. Sever all contact with him. You can't blame him because he has been completely honest with you. When you move on with your life, you will be so much happier. Good luck to you!!
2006-09-30 09:09:47 · answer #9 · answered by Ms. G. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him, you deserve full commitment and if he is not willing to give it then someone else will. If he really loves you then when you are gone he may re-think his not wanting to get married. By sticking around you are sending him the message that it is okay that he not marry you because you won't leave anyway. Get what you deserve girl!!!! Don't compromise your dreams for someone....LOVE yourself more than that....Good Luck!!!!!
2006-09-30 10:33:31 · answer #10 · answered by Alicia H 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
find out what you are really looking for out of life. if you 2 arent on the same page then you need to move on,but on the other hand if your not ready for marriage yourself then just hang out and have sum fun with this guy. if he is not ever getting married then if you pressure him into it he will fell trapped and cheat on you. think long and hard about staying with this guy.
2006-09-30 09:12:56 · answer #11 · answered by lovebug 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋