what would u do with your teenager and sex?

Question

My friend lets her daughter and her 15yr old boyfriend stay over at her''s. she said it's because at least she know's were they are and they are not doing it on a street corner or in a back of a car somewere. at least if they are at her's they are safe. And not as tempted 2 have sex when under her mothers roof. Does she know something ever other mother doesn't and is right. In some weird way i think she maybe at least her daughter is in the house and safe. And what makes it even better her daughter and said boyfriend said they are going 2 wait. she must b on 2 something what do u think. her daughter waiting and she is safe? good parent or bad parent.

Answer 1

Good, you know teenagers are going to have sex sometime right? so why not do it where they are in a safe environment, supplied with the proper needs not to get pregnant (birth control, condums etc.). It's just like drinking alchoholic beverages, you they are gonna be tempted to do it, and you know they will thats what their friends do, say "if you wanan drink, please do it where i can see where you and you are all right" Because if you just tell your kid no dont do that, he or she is going to do it if she wants, so just give them a safe area to do so. I think she is a good parent. It's also about letting her make her own choices, You know she or he will do it, all you can do is provide them with the knowledge about what can happen, and what to do to not get pregnant and reduce chances of getting STD's. You are not going to run your child's life forever, let them make their own choices, it is a growing process.

Answer 2

I taught sex ed in high school for 4 years and agree w/the person who said that kids are going to have sex when they want, usually, no matter WHERE they are (unless it's in public and even then...!). Still, this mother is deluding herself that the girl is "Safe". She's tempted, alright! Yes, they may be less likely to have sex under her roof, but maybe not. The peak hours for teen sex are from 3-6:00 PM...after school and before mom and dad get home!

This mother AND the father, if he's around, need to tell the girl outright what their values are on teen sex. Some parents are (to me) incomprensible and don't care if their kids have a baby! I told my kid NEVER to get a girl pregnant and to beware of all the girls out there who are TRYING to get pregnant (yes, they are legion!).

He swore he would discuss it with me if he and his girlfriend ever decided they were close to having sex. He knows all about birth control methods, and his girlfriend's mom had just banned her from MY house because they fell asleep together watching TV, fully clothed, w/the door open(she was out partying! Stupid B**T!).

Sooo, when I found out, via a 3rd party, that my kid was "no longer a virgin" (his phrase), I confronted him quietly. I was shaking, though. I felt betrayed that he had lied to me. He said the whole "I'm not ready act" his girlfriend put on was just that, an act! He gave in and they had sex. (He was 14 and she 15). Luckily, he says he used condoms and they decided not to do it again. She dumped him shortly thereafter, but he learned a valuable lesson.

But GUESS where the two had sex...in the "safety" of her Mom's house!!! So, yes, they were safe, from muggings, gangs, getting run over and freezing, etc., but not safe from their own biological urges! Wake up, parents!

Answer 3

I am a parent of a girl who has just turned 15 and it is hard in this day and age with all the sexual activity going on in the lives of the youngsters, you only have to look at the pregnancies in kids as young as 11...... Get a life is all i have to say to the kids and to the parent of that kid. At the end of the day as much as your mate will say they are put off by doing it under her roof the truth is if they are going to do it they will and even more so if they are allowed to stay together under the same roof - are they sleeping in the same room? at the end of the day your mate needs to educate her daughter that there is more to life than boys and sex and the complications etc safe sex and std's.
I know you think she has a good attitude of knowing that if they are gonna do it then at least she knows it will be under her roof but what if her daughter becomes pregnant is she gonna brag that at least it happened under her roof???? I don't think so, no disrespect as I know it is soooooooo hard bringing kids up but at the end of the day sex will be there for them when the time is right and they grow up quick enough without their parents trying to be friends with them instead of a parent and given them good guidance.
Yes I know that not all cases are sad and lost hopes but please let our kids be kids and let them grow up and experience such things when not only their minds but their body's are mature enough.
XX

Answer 4

Hi i think she is a good parent, at least she knows that her where he daugther is and she obviously has talked to her about sex and contraception. At least she isnt out doing drugs or comminting crimes, Yes she is underage but she is under her mothers roof. What would you want, her hanging out with yobs, beating up people for fun, drinking all night, taking drugs, and maybe in a young offenders insitiute and maybe have a child because her mum hasnt talked about sex to her and she has done it drugged up and drunk at a party or in a backstreet like most youth doing nowadays. At least her contraception is undercontrol and she is in the house safe and her daugter is happy and it gives her mum a piece of mind.

Answer 5

I am 23 and coming from someone who was there not that long ago... I say let her stay at home with him. Then, if he turns out to be violent or something, she only has to scream and you can be right there. If he turns out to really love her, you will be able to see it because he will be able to face you the next morning knowing he has done nothing wrong. I also agree with some of the others, you have to educate your kids about safe sex, the diseases and unwanted pregnancy. Be open with your kids, I was one that was kept in the dark till I was 15 about what sex was, although I had very high morals and wouldn't let a guy near me till we were engaged and I was 18. Your child is as smart as you taught them to be. Respect them and know that even thought they have dangerous information, they may be smarter than you think and will be more likely to obey you. Well, thats my opinion, but good luck, I hope you find the answer you are seeking.

Answer 6

She's a good mother. There is no way you can stop them having sex if they want to irrespective of where they are. Education of contraceptives is imperative, and the fact that she's actually had a conversation with her daughter about it shows she's clued up and can help advise her daughter as to the right way to go. Bad mothers would forbid the staying over of boyfriend and end up with a grandchild concieved in a park somewhere...

Answer 7

First since they have said they will wait than letting the BF spend the night ( in another room) is fine. But if she knew that they were already having sex it would be better to let them stay at her house and be in more more so than if they were not there. If you know your child is having sex the best thing I believe is not to ignore the situation and hope that it goes away but step up and face the fact that once they have they will again.

Answer 8

well in a way good and another bad cause it is better if the mom no that u are having sex so they can give u advice but if that mother allow her girl child to have sex in the house while she is there that not right only if the girl is 18 are over

Answer 9

one of two things..
She is jus oblivious and thinks she has an angel living under her roof with mr prince charming by her side.

Or...she knows what they have done and she is ashamed so this is her way of covering it up.
in any case this lady has a problem and her daughter will do the same exact when she has children of her own,..couseling is what that family needs. at 15..i didnt even completely know what "making out" meant.

Answer 10

Times have changed and I see her point. I wouldn't let my teenage daughters boyfriend stay in the same room as my daughter but I don't think she is a bad parent cos of it.