My husband of 15 years says " he loves me but he's not in love with me" and that he does not know if he wants to stay or leave. he told me this a couple of weeks ago and he is still here, we also have gotten into marriage couisl, so what should i do just waite and see if my world comes crumbling down? or what?
2006-09-30 08:53:41 · 18 answers · asked by lovebug 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
spice it up
2006-09-30 08:55:11 · answer #1 · answered by mmm_forbbiden 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say wait due to the fact he has loved you once before... I think you should get help and see what happens... Think about it 15 years is alot to give up on this is your marriage.... I understand that you dont want to be hurt but wait and see what happens he could change at least he told you and is willig to work it out... What have you two been through lately..... think about the ups and downs and see which is more
Good Luck
2006-09-30 09:05:54 · answer #2 · answered by Tee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I certainly feel badly for you. I find all that not in love stuff to be a croc anyway. As far as his still being there, that may only mean that he hasnt gotten all of his plans finalized yet.
Counseling? Forget about it. Most of that stuff is only junk designed to make people feel good about whatever they decide to do anyway. Counseling is merely nothing more then a lot of politically correct crap in my opinion.
Now, I would suggest that you make all the arrangements and plans that you must make in order to protect yourself and watch out for your own welfare and well being. Dont wait for his decision. Simply act like he has said that you two are now going to divorce and follow that path. It might wake him up but if nothing else, it will serve to protect you. Watch those joint accounts too.
2006-09-30 09:21:36 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set up a separate bank account while he is still there without his name on it and transfer some money in there, just incase. Also, I would do things like not be at his beck and call whenever he is home. Start getting some outside interests that don't involve him. This is healthy for you whether you stay with him or not. I don't feel it is good for any one person to depend on another person for their every bit of happiness. The therapist is a great idea as long as he hasn't really made up his mind, and if he is in therapy, and hasn't left yet, it sounds like he hasn't decided yet. Tell him that you love him but your not going to beg him to love you back. Sometimes you have to show them that other men are interested in you also...it lets them know that they should appreciate you or someone else will!! Be strong and take care of YOU. Give him the "I care, but I won't die without you" attitude.
2006-09-30 09:02:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have the answer. It will be the hardest thing ever, but you must do it. What you do is, get yourself a life. I'm dead serious. Involve yourself in things you like to do, I don't care if it's gardening or curing cancer, busy yourself. I guarantee it will take your mind of your jackass husband and it will improve your self esteem. Then, when he sees that you are doing well, he will become interested in you. Then you dump him and find someone who will worship the ground you walk on because of the goddess you are. Also, read the book "The Rules." It's good for tips. Good luck dear.
2006-09-30 09:56:06 · answer #5 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is he making all the decisions. Be strong,Be strong.Kick him out and let him beg you to come back. I think he won't find the grass greener on the other side. Be Strong, change the locks on the doors so he can't get back in. Be Strong there are lots of men out there that would love to have a woman like you.Good luck.
2006-09-30 09:05:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait and see, the counseling might wake him up. Sometimes you don't know what you have till it's gone. If he is not sure maybe a small break will help or just work as hard as you both can and see where it goes.
2006-09-30 08:59:16 · answer #7 · answered by Steve S 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry this happened. I had something very similar happen to me at 16 years of marriage.
Consider that, at least today, he is committed enough to go to counseling with you. See how that works for awhile before making a decision.
2006-09-30 08:59:33 · answer #8 · answered by Buffy Summers 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to counseling. Sometimes counseling can help you both remember why you fell in love in the first place.
2006-09-30 08:57:38 · answer #9 · answered by Meg...Out of Hybernation 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get some counseling, sounds like he has another women on his mind though. Try to make it work, but prepare for the worst. be smart.
2006-09-30 09:06:57 · answer #10 · answered by Steve J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see what happens with the counseling.
2006-09-30 08:57:04 · answer #11 · answered by shepardman1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋