1 to 10 tell meh wat you think
pretty god for a 13 yr old eh??
In your eyes..i see
pain that i cant heal
suffering caused by nightmares
that wont leave..
In you eyes..i see
rebirth of a new day
gentel kisses mend your sorrows away
but most of all i see...
In your eyes i see..
Love
Dedication
and a glitter of hope
your eyes help me see
threw the darkness and pain
threw the screams and weeps and i know
tomorrow you'll still love me and
i still love you
in your eyes i see my reflection
forever promised
2006-09-30 08:43:46 · 24 answers · asked by hopelessly romantic♥ 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Pretty good...you might want to consider some basic grammar errors but it's pretty good on the whole.....I'll give it an 8.
2006-09-30 08:49:18 · answer #1 · answered by chrstnwrtr 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
3
2006-09-30 09:15:57 · answer #2 · answered by ilovedogsandcats17 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
8
2006-09-30 08:52:36 · answer #3 · answered by Overkill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This poem is rather solid for a beginner, there is defiantly some wonderful imagery in it, even nonetheless it varieties of lacks course, its slightly complicated, it starts off with you chuffed you have stumbled on somebody, yet they are actually not rather yours? and then they circulate away, that's a fabulous storyline, yet you will need for occasion a ingredient interior the poem whilst they circulate away. It would not fairly rhyme in places, which i don't blame you for, rhyming poems are very very perplexing, so according to probability you will desire to easily attempt non rhyming poems first of all. in case you like the assumption of rhyming nonetheless, attempt in simple terms making it lyrical whilst spoken, counting the syllables according to line is a sturdy thank you to try this. Poetry could be exciting and extremely pleasing, i think of you will desire to proceed, you additionally could make some money! yet you will desire to purchase a e book on writing poetry to truly get the superb effects, i prefer to propose "the ode much less travelled: unlocking the poet interior of" by potential of Stephen Fry, he's remarkable and and extremely relaxing.
2016-10-15 09:22:24 · answer #4 · answered by saleh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good effort but I have to tell you something that you obviously DO NOT UNDERSTAND when it comes to poetry (and this verse isn't it, by the way). Poetry is ALL ABOUT IMAGERY. Your "poem" actually comes out and TELLS us EVERYTHING! Poetry is about using correct meter and punctuation and structure. What you have here is merely a bunch of words in no particular pattern or order (some of which are MISSPELLED...it's "through" NOT THREW! And it's "gentle" NOT GENTEL!). This sounds overwrought and trite as can be. If you REALLY want to read honest to goodness POETRY, try Emily Dickinson. She was a MASTER at it. Wallace Stevens was also superb. What you have here is a mishmash of nothing. If you want your peers (children) to laud it, fine. But if you want honest to gooodness crtitique and to learn something, here it is.
2006-09-30 08:54:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice. 8.
I wrote poems when I was 9, adn they were good, and when I was 13, I wrote them too. Poems are supposed to show the world how you feel, who you are. You aren't supposed to write so much. Open up you mind and smell the air. Look at what you want to say. Don't hold yourself back. Be expressive, and let us figure it out without trying to explain yourself. Poetry is to express yourself and conclude yourself without really telling us. You have a beautiful way of expression.
2006-09-30 09:25:16 · answer #6 · answered by otter7 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry if you felt my last answer was worth responding to, but that wasn't "My" answer. There's many people that use my account. in my opinion, your stuff is a little dark. try to lighten up and make the best of even the worst situation. pretty good though...for 13 yr old.
2006-10-01 06:56:30 · answer #7 · answered by Xeele 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd give it a 7, very beautiful! Just some grammatical issues... You should use "cannot" instead of "can't" on the 2nd line, and you also have spelling errors, like "threw" should be "through." But overall, very very nice. Keep it up, you are definitely talented!
2006-09-30 08:54:05 · answer #8 · answered by Lindsay M 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Pretty good, I would say an 8 or 9, there are some grammar and spelling errors, but overall very good. I think that you communicated your feelings very well.
2006-09-30 08:52:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very touching. Reminds me of the way I felt both at the time I met my first wife And how I felt just after her death. I give it a perfect 10. Emotional context is a part of poetry that too many people miss, you didn't.
2006-09-30 08:55:32 · answer #10 · answered by kveldulfgondlir 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very nice. I'd rate it an 8-ish, minus the spelling/grammar issues... It seems insightful and hopeful, even if it is a bit tortured. Keep writing - it's a gift you have been given.
2006-09-30 08:53:37 · answer #11 · answered by hrh_gracee 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋