what does this stupid comment mean?

Question

My husband is needless to say not thrilled with our latest creation. I am 7 weeks.
My sister yesterday asked me, if I was pregnant over the phone? I said, "No" due to the fact she is trying so hard to concieve, and we are not telling people yet. anyhow....
Now I was wondering why she would think that. I asked my husband if he had told her husband.
He was irritated, and said
"it's up to you to tell people. "
Now I know we are not on the best of terms about this whole situation, but, no matter what I thought we were in together.
What would you do?
Please no negative feedback. I know he can be a jerk. ANd it was mean.

Answer 1

Been there, dun that!!! My husband was sooo angry when I got pregnant with out last child. He even went as far as accusing me of getting off my birth control, which I did not do. He was like this the whole pregnancy. Whenever there was a discussion about the baby, he would check out. I am glad to report, however, that once he saw our beautiful baby girl he was hooked and she has had him wrapped around her finger ever since. Now they are inseparable!!!!

Just be patient with your husband and try to understand his side of things. Know that it is probably not anything against you or the baby. He is more than likely stressed about how you will provide for this new little one financially and otherwise. Give him time and don't try to pressure him. In time I am sure things will work out fine. Good luck and God bless!!!

Answer 2

I wouldn' be too hard, I expect it was a thoughtless comment, and maybe what he means is, he hasn't told anyone, because he thought you would rather do it, in your own time, when you feel comfortable.

My other half is always saying harsh things, that at the time, sound awful and stay with me for ages, but I think men are not as good at expressing themselves, after all, women talk all the time, to friends, colleagues, mothers, about all kinds of personal things and become practised at expressing themselves, but blokes never do, they wouldn't dream of discussing birth control over a pint, and sometimes, they're just not adept at sensitive issues.

The key is communication, try and talk in a way that shows you want to understand him, try to validate his feelings and ask that he does the same to you, rather than nonsensing them.

If his explanation is what you imagine as the worst case senario, maybe that he doesn't care or isn't interested, then it's time to do some rethinking, as no one deserves so little respect and support from a partner, what ever decision you come to.

Good Luck ,and may be even congratulations?

Answer 3

Why is your hubby not happy? Do you already have other children? Is is because of money? Either way, two people who love each other should be supportive in this. After all, it wasn't just you that did the "conceiving". He had a pretty big part in that. You should talk to him, and make sure that he's not going to resent the child and take it out on the child later just because he didn't want it. That's not fair. As far as your sister goes, if she loves you, she will be happy for you. She'll find out sooner or later, and she may feel MORE hurt if you didn't tell her earlier. Honesty is always the best policy.

Answer 4

I just want to let you know you are not alone many people go through an angry phase I did when I found out but it was hormones mostly man can have this response as well I would give him some time to think about and Hun don't worry you need your energy for the baby growing in side you. If something was to happen you may blame your husband you don't want that
give him time to think he is only human good luck best wishes and most of all congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

I honestly think that your husband thinks it is up to you to tell people. My husband and I tried for years to get pregnant and when we finally did he said the same thing. He wanted me to be the one to share the wonderful news. Also, he wanted me to make the decision on when to tell people. I am sorry to hear your husband isn't supporting you. I hope when the baby comes and he looks in his/her eyes he will just fall in love like he has never been before. There is an article in Parents magazine (October issue) about a couple just like you. You should read it, it may help you to know that you aren't alone and everything may turn out OK. Good Luck to you and Congrats!

Answer 6

I would sit him down and talk to him. Tell him that you didn't get pregnant on your own. Babies are more important than husbands. If he were my husband, I would tell him point blank- if he doesn't want to be supportive of you and this pregnancy, he knows where the door is. (Sorry, I don't have a lot of patience with men that act like jerks- my husband gets the same treatment if he does something stupid)

Answer 7

I'll say this in a positive way - did he think that this was the Immaculate conception?
Anyhow, it was probably just part of a sisterly conversation to ask that. And don't talk to your husband about your pregnancy. Sit down with your sister and tell her that you are, but you didn't want to upset her. You need someone to share with and it ain't gonna be Bozo.

Answer 8

I don't quite understand your question. Which comment, your sister's or your husbands?

Maybe you are referring to the "it is up to you to tell people" -- I guess he just figures you are the pregnant one, you get to do the telling. It is more of a girl thing anyway.

I am not sure I would have lied to your sister. I guess you can tell her you didn't know when it comes time to tell her for real.

You and hubby may need counseling to deal with his lack of enthusiasm regarding this preg.

Answer 9

That was nasty of him, poor chick! I would suggest sitting down and talking things over with him. Husbands are supposed to support their wives and vice versa. It will be hard for both of you if he isn't in it for the long run with you. Hope it works out.

Answer 10

So this really is a sucky situation but you can get through it, sit down and talk to your husband. If there is a unconditional love bond you can make it through anything together.