I have posted questions here before about my bf and I. We r undergoing some problems which will take some time to get solved. I know men are slower than women in feelings, so I need to give him something instead of sending stress. But it's so difficult to be patient, tolerant, pretending to be ok, and waiting for him to get over all these things in the long long future. Every after some time I arise the same topic and fight with him, though I know that's not good. But just can't control....DO u know any effective way to get rid of that ?
2006-09-30 06:49:06 · 6 answers · asked by Linlisa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You must forgive each other and not dwell on the past. First, take a serious moment to determine if he truly is the guy for you. Some people are simply not meant to be together yet they refuse to break up. If you stay then stop second guessing yourself and be committed.
2006-09-30 06:52:15 · answer #1 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he using his problems as an excuse to keep you both in the same situation? I would tell him to get some counselling for his problems and give him a time frame to do in, and be specific, don't argue about it but send him a clear message that we all have problems and if he can't deal with them or won't he needs counselling. You need to be firm, strong and helpful and if you give him a time frame you better mean it. Sometimes women take on other peoples problems and you shouldn't do that. He needs to deal with his issues so YOU can get on with your life with or without him. This is giving him some options, just try not to get angry, he may expect that and your not resolving anything just setting up a pattern, break the pattern and proactive. Try it and good luck.
2006-09-30 07:03:46 · answer #2 · answered by Pearl N 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your future is being played out right now if you stay with this guy. B.f. is not going to "solve all problems in our relationship." What does he have to "get over?" Drugs, booze, affairs, criminal activity, temper control, what? Any of those items are not going to be gotten over. He's with you and therefore you are part of the problem. You "fight with him" over what? Over the unsolved problems? Human beings don't solve problems without professional intervention and they are always advised to clear the slate, drop the relationships that are currently involved with the "problems."
I promise you that you will play out the "problems" over and over for the rest of your life with this man. He knows you are dependent and can be talked out of anything and so he will keep you hanging on while you just get older.
I hope and pray there are no children involved here. And that there will be none in the future caught in your and his nightmare.
2006-09-30 06:58:40 · answer #3 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well are you happy?? and why is he not trying to work through his problems? you are not trying to send him stress. sounds like you are walking on eggshells so you guys will not fight. You are not the one with the problem. Your b/f is. I know you may not want to hear that, but untill he is willing to fix whatever problem he has, and you do not have to "pretend" everything is ok. there is no fixing it. good luck
2006-09-30 06:56:27 · answer #4 · answered by lynnn30 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop talking about what is bothering you both and move on!!! You may be incompatible-if so maybe you need to find someone new! Good Luck to you!
2006-09-30 06:57:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no
2006-09-30 06:50:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋