My Husband has told me he wants the single life, but I know he is seeing some-one else what shall I do?

Question

We have been married for nearly 6 years but he says he has been unhappy for the last two years. He was married before for nearly 20 years. He works away from home and has come to like the single life and moves into a rented house next weekend. He has said that he was not going to say anything until Christmas, and he was going to try and get his head sorted before then and tell me what he had decided, try and make it work of go for good. I know for a fact that he is seeing a married woman, but denies it every time I confront him with it. Do I hang about?

Answer 1

move on.

Answer 2

I think in all honesty you need to realise that he is a man! If you know for certain that he is seeing this married women then he obviously has no concern over your feelings, further more he is making a fool off you.

Think about it logically not emotionally. I have come to the conclusion that he does not want to throw all his eggs into one basket and if the other women won't leave her husband then he has got you too fall back on.

Do not ever belittle yourself as time is a healer, once a few years has passed you will see the light at the end off the tunnel. I can sympathise with the fact that you love him dearly and want to make it work but I personally think that no one should ever get treated the way you are.

So I suggest you get on your glad rags, go out with your friends and start enjoying the single life yourself. if the sad S.O.B comes crawling back when he sees how well you are looking, show him straight to the one he walked out off.

Hope it all works out for you.

Answer 3

Hi!

I think you need to give him the elbow.

Remember, you can't change anyone, they have to want to change. Seems like he's made up his own mind, so leave him to it.

Reading between the lines, I feel you've already resigned yourself to the fact, so keep your dignity and 'allow' him to leave.

You'll grow from this experience, and believe me, there is love out there for you. Someone who is deserving of you is just waiting in the wings. Don't rush anything, just take it easy, enjoy the coming times that you are going to be alone, don't be too sad. You're just a lady in waiting.

Also, don't be afraid to be picky. You call the shots from now on and don't accept second best. You deserve the best and will get it in the end.

Take care, cry a lot, the tears WILL help to heal, and don't forget - he so does not deserve to have you - and he WILL live to regret it - isn't the grass always greener on the otherside?

I'm thinking of you tonight, and I wish you every happiness in the future.

Answer 4

You must love this man to ask this question. However, all your love cannot change what is happening. Even though you may love him, use the inner conflict he has caused you in a positive way. In other words when you are weak and show weakness-remind yourself of what he is doing to you and be angry that he has caused you pain and sadness and try really hard to get through that time. Hopefully this will give you strength in the eyes of your husband, and your grief can be yours alone. He obviously don't care if you are weak or strong but I feel that you need to be strong for you. Don't torment yourself for months waiting on him, he is buying time to check where this "new relationship" is going. He's giving the other woman time to make her decision, he's not trying to figure out if your marriage is worth saving.

Answer 5

Whether your husband simply wants to be single, or is actually seeing someone else, is beside the point now. The point is that he is unhappy in your marriage.

Now you must think about, and be honest with yourself. Have you really been happy throughout these 6 years of marriage? Are you trying to hold on to him because you fear the idea of being single, or because you really do want to spend the rest of your life with him?

Also, consider that if you don't believe him that he just wants single life, that means you do not completely trust him. How could you have a solid relationship when you do not trust him?

You need to face all the facts about your relationship with your husband, and then decide whether it is time to move on with your life, or to start a campaign to win him back.

Good luck!

Answer 6

I'm so sorry you are in this predicament you must be feeling terrible, I think you should let him go and dont even bother trying to confront him about it anymore, better to end it in a civil way rather than fighting to the bitter end. Be open and honest about your own feelings too. Let him know you are hurt. he has been honest to a point at least about his feelings of unhappiness so my advice would be to let it go move on it will be painful but agony to stay in a loveless relationship believe me i've been there too and its soul destroying. Occupy your own life with meaningful activities and people you can trust I hope you will some day find happiness again with someone else.

Answer 7

Don't hang about, file for divorce and force his hand. That will put him in the position where he has to make a choice between you and the other woman. It seems to me that if he has said he's unhappy in the marriage, he's eventually going to leave you anyway. If you want to keep the marriage alive there are some steps you can take, but they will possibly be futile.

I'm no marriage counsellor but have been married twice myself (for nearly 20 years to my current husband) and count among my friends a couple of psychologists. Remember always, it's not your fault that he is unhappy, it's because he is looking for "greener grass". Two failed marriages, regardless of duration, means he will probably always been looking for "greener grass". Life isn't like that. Mature adults make choices and they stand by them, through thick and thin. We all go through mid-life crises, but trust me, they either pass or are destructive. Time for you to stand up for yourself, be the brave and strong woman I know that you are.

Answer 8

Just what would you hang out for? He telling you, and showing you that he's separating his life from yours. Hang out and you're giving him more rope to hang you...in other words screw you over with the divorces settlement. If I were you I'd consult a good attorney because the chances are that your husband is disbanding what ever assets you may be entitled to, ( during this separation, where he professes to be getting his head straight. Fact he's getting the ball rollling...to roll over you--- Look here's the facts I decipher from what you've shared. He's cheated,,,been unfaithful...lied to you and now he's getting ready to give you a present at Christmas time....surprise him get a backbone , realize he's not who you thought he was...give him an early, " surprise" Christmas present...serve him with the divorce papers ASAP. So, you can move on with your life,,,,

Answer 9

you have 2 infants alongside with your husband and that i think of you will desire to get into couple's counseling and notice in case you may shop your marriage earlier you break up your loved ones. i actually do not advise to be a judgmental biddy here yet you probably did pick to have 2 infants with this guy and that they deserve the final you're able to do to maintain this mutually. possibly it can't be salvaged yet your ex is your ex and going lower back to a dating that failed isn't the respond. if your love have been stable adequate, he might in no way have left you over fake gossip planted via your mom. i think of you're giving him "a bypass" considering you're actually not happy on your marriage. See in case you may restoration your marriage earlier you bypass away and end all touch with the ex. bear in strategies, he's an ex for a reason and being "in love" in no way lasts. you have a kinfolk to contemplate here. pick properly and heavily. carry your self with dignity and don't cheat on your heart or your physique. 2 wrongs do not make a real. stable luck!

Answer 10

only hang about if you can talk through it and he gets you to know what he finds in the other and if it should be possible that you would like to make up for it.

if it is just cheating, his being away explains it. as Chris Rock says, "if you dont want him to cheat on you, be their when he has an erection"

otherwise move on from the comfort zone of the common and get his friend that kept comming to pretent that he was comming to check on him hoping it would rain while you were just the two of you.

anybody else will just do fine if you put your mind to it and be selfish for your hunger

Answer 11

Let him go and look forward to a new life. It feels horrible to be the one left but there is a new future with lots of happiness coming your way. Be strong and take this crisis as an opportunity.