2006-09-30 06:07:19 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've been with this man for 13 years and he has always drank-but with the passing of his father 5 yrs ago he is to the point of destroying himself and our marriage. Any ideas-i'm trapped in a corner and want to help him-but he won't even recognize that he has a problem-and talking about it he gets mad!
2006-09-30 06:11:01 · update #1
Yes but you'll need help from friends and family. It's called an intervention. Approach him/her together and calmly explain your concerns and desire to help and support them. Provide information about AA and support groups and have personal reasons that you would like to see them quit drinking. Ultimately, they need to make the final decision about accepting responsibility and seeking help. People with a drinking problem know they do (whether they admit it or not) and by taking the initiative to give them all the resources they need and telling them that they have your support it may be the push they need.
2006-09-30 06:19:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We had problems with my father and brother. Rehab wont take some one unless they willingly consent and they can always leave when they want.
The only way around this I believe is being court order. If he's/she's a minor and you're the parent you could try going to court saying he/she is a danger to them self.
I know its really hard, but I've learned you can't change someone, especially someone with a addiction. They're not going to go sober for your or anyone else but themselves and its something they have to do. That doesn't mean you shouldn't offer help. Maybe you can go to a AA meeting and ask some people there what made them decided they needed help and how you should approach the person in your life with the problem.
2006-09-30 06:13:08 · answer #2 · answered by Snuggs77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you can't. Sometimes it takes a life-changing event (the person is arrested, injured or kills someone in a DUI accident, spouse leaves, etc) before they realize they need help. Sometimes they never do. I've heard of people doing "interventions" - all the family and friends get together and confront the person, but I'm not sure that would work. It would probably make an alcoholic more defensive.
2006-09-30 06:10:00 · answer #3 · answered by Stimpy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately for any addiction the first step towards a cure is the fact that it what they want. I'm not going to tell you that this person enjoys his/her currenent situation but help first must come from within that desire to end this that tired of being tired type attitude. No One changes in truth it's the fact that we drop or pick up new habbits. Help is everywhere for the alcoholic as well for all addictions, but the greatest help is the one from within, until this person is ready , its very difficult to get help with any positive results.
2006-09-30 06:14:27 · answer #4 · answered by Douglas N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have to make the choice... when they are ready or maybe when they hit rock bottom... like losing family... job ...etc..
You can help it along my doing an intervention... within a group or each person seperately going to the drunk and saying if you don't straighten up ... I am out off your life untill.... And stick to what you say... tough love... and if you really care... you'll do it.... demand them or else... Good Luck!!!!
2006-09-30 06:12:05 · answer #5 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, there is no help under that circumstance. Leave or kick him out - legally - and if he is concerned, he will go into residential rehab. I hope you do not have children. If you do you should have left a few years ago. Think of the trauma. Go.
2006-09-30 07:28:18 · answer #6 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well part of the problem is they are in denial. You can't force someone to fix something if they don't think there is a problem, no matter what you (or anyone for that matter) says. To quit, they themselves are going to WANT to quit.
Good luck.
2006-09-30 06:09:34 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If her refuses help then you only have two choices one-stay with him and put up with this or two -get him out of your life -if he won't straighten up divorce him!!! Even if you don't believe in divorce in a way he has already left you by putting his drinking first!
2006-09-30 06:17:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot make an alcoholic get help if the person doesn't want to. I have heard there are intervention procedures.But I don't know how they work.
2006-09-30 06:34:54 · answer #9 · answered by Dot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being an ex-drunk , i can talk from experiance. you can't do or say anything. the desire to quit has to come from the one with the problem. you can eighter be strong an stand by your man or get out! your consideration an opions are only going to be considered nagging.
2006-09-30 15:40:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋