I don't know what to do. My boyfriend's parents are coming to town next weekend and I can't stand them. We are planning on getting married in 2009 (when I'm done with my schooling and being married wouldn't mess up my finacial aid) but are not officially engaged yet because we have some issues we need to work out (I have bad PTSD) which we are in therapy for. His parents treat me like a total outside and like I'm a teenager (we are both late 20s). They insist I call them Mr and Mrs. And treat me like an idiot (explain to me how to read music when they know I went to college for music). I am very close to my family and live near by. They treat my boyfriend like he is part of my family, and they know what our relationship difficulties are (and help us through them). I know that as soon as there is a ring on my finger, his family will treat me well. But I honestly want to have nothing to do with them (nor want them to have anything to do with our future children). Any advice.
2006-09-30 06:03:03 · 4 answers · asked by Stacia V 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know the feeling. Cope and don't take it to heart. We can choose our spouse but sadly we can not choose thier family's. I only see my in laws at Birthdays and Christmas and my spouse is fine with that because he understands how and why i feel that way.
Good Luck
2006-09-30 06:07:47 · answer #1 · answered by R C 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well here's a plan -- MOVE OUT. You two are nowhere NEAR marriage material. That 'ring on your finger' doesn't change one single damn thing. You two need a time out from each other before you get married for the wrong reason(s).
As far as inlaws -- 'F' - them. You start acting submissive now and this will spiral into a full blown tornado by the time you are thirty. You need to set the boundraries NOW. You are 50% of this relationship equation and they need to realize now that you will not be pushed around by any pompous @ss critic. If your shack-up boyfriend can't handle this --- well you figure it out.
2006-09-30 07:00:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where did you get the idea that a ring on your finger, will solve your future in law problem.In my experience in laws do not change, they will just demand that you do so. If you are ever going to live close by them be prepared for a constant ongoing battle. and by close by I mean the same planet
2006-09-30 06:31:06 · answer #3 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should tell them how you feel. they wont know till you tell them.
2006-09-30 06:08:18 · answer #4 · answered by Abby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋