My hubby and dad don't get along and they are trying to make me take sides, what do I do?

Question

I've known my hubby for 2 years and he's worked MAYBE 1 month total in that amout of time and a number of jobs. and my dad owns his own company and a number of times in the middle of a job my hubby quits, and since my dad is one of the owners makes my dad look bad. Eariler this week my mom and dad gave me and my hubby $400 for a puppy(long story). SO my hubby agreed to work for one day. After about 15 min he quit, AGAIN! and got in my dad's face and my dad got really pissed and said stay out of his life. Now they both arn't talking and are complaining about eachother to me. They both have a point about eachother though. But I mostly agree with my dad, my hubby should work, his mom is supporting our family, not him.

I even worked when I was pregant and he didn't. At my dad's work (wherehouse work) I make $100 a day! I even told my hubby to just get ANY job, since my mom can watch the baby. He says he hates wherehouse work cuz he's not a spick. I'm mexican and so is his daughter. I love him too much to leave, but I don't know what to do

Answer 1

You know in this situation, I am sorry to tell you this but your husband is a loser. He needs to start supporting his family, period. They just gave you money for a puppy, 400 dollars. Which I don't care what the story is, you don't need. He has absolutely no right to get in your dad's face. Your dad was trying to help out. You need to sit down and have a serious talk with your husband about your family.

Answer 2

Then tell your husband how you feel. Tell him that it's embarrassing that your mother is supporting both of you. Ask your husband to apologize to your father. From now on, your husband should not work at the company owned by your father. He should get another job, and if not, your husband should get psychological help and vocational training. Then he can find out why he can't keep a job and he can get training for a job he can keep. Or, you get a job and support the family.

Pay your family back for the puppy. If your parents are supporting you, there's no reason you need a $400.00 dog. See if you can return it, long story notwithstanding. If you really love dogs, get a free puppy from a newspaper ad.

Answer 3

I was with my ex for 5 years and he didnt work much either. we would work a month then quit and not have work for several months. He would cry and complain that he had nothing, but didnt want to work for it. My parents and his mom basically supported us.Maybe you should talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. He is the man and its his responsibility to support you. If your husband isnt going to stand up and be a man and support his family he isnt worth it. You deserve better than that. In my opinion your husband is wrong. My dad let my ex work for him for a certain amount of money and then he quit. Now i have it on record that he can make that much and that helped so i could get more child support money. (not that i get it very often) we arent together anymore, he still chooses not to work.

Answer 4

Time to make some tough decisions here. The only side you can choose is your side. What is going to be best for you? Sounds like hubby needs to learn to get along with others. I am sure you love him, but is this how you want the rest of your life to be? Tell hubby to shape up and get and keep a job or you will find somebody who can.

Answer 5

If you want to keep your marriage your priority should be your husband. Work with him to figure out why he quits and try finding him a job that he's interested in. Let him know that you feel he is disappointing you as a husband and provider. Also, as long as his Mom is enabling him (supporting your family) the more he will accept her help and not work. He needs to realize he has a new family now and a responsibility to you.

Answer 6

You are a grown woman, what do you think is the right thing to do? How long are you going to stick with a lazy deadbeat? It's your choice to put up with your husband, but you should also make sure he knows how you feel about his work habits, lack of responsibility, and discourtesy and ingratitude toward your father. If I were your dad, I wouldn't have let the guy work for me after the 2nd time he'd quit a job he was doing for me...so your father is also guilty for continuing to "hire" your husband, knowing his pattern is to not finish what he starts.

What do you want out of life? Are you happy with your mother-in-law supporting y'all? Think about where you are, where you want to be, and the likelihood of getting there with your husband riding your coattails.

Answer 7

Tell your Dad that this is your husband for the rest of his life when you pass away I want to be on good terms and all but dad you mush understand that I love you both but in different ways. When I was married he took on the responsibility of taking care of me and our children if you have any. Tell you husband that you are only given one set of parents and they will have to do and you don't get a choice they are your weather you agree that they should be or not. My dad took care of me until we were married so it is hard to just relinquish the power to another person and especial to another man. As a dad to a married daughter I can understand both sides but I have realized that he does take care of her and between them both I have a wonderful grandson. I hoped that this help good luck and best wishes.

Answer 8

Your hubby is a real azz. Someone who is extending his time and efforts to ensure you guys have money in your pocket to feed the dog he just bought you should be treated and put on a pedistool. Side with your dad cause it sounds like he is in the right. But dont let dad ride your hubby either.

Answer 9

Your hubby is a loser!! I like your dad. He wants the best for his baby. Just like anyone else. Its no surprise your dad dont like him. Hey I dont like him. How does your Hubby even feel like a man if he can be the head of the household? I would find a different Hubby!! ASAP and dump that loser. I hate men who are still little boys they dont know when to grow up

Answer 10

Your husband work history is similar to an alcoholic's attitude to drinking. Your family has made it possible for him to continue in this behavior. By rescuing him each time he leaves a job and continuing to provide his with a job again makes him secure to continue this action. Your father is right... your husband needs to stew in his own problems. If you, your mother or father rescues him he will never change. He has to learn the HARD WAY... what it takes to be a responsible adult and he needs to GROW UP! By rescuing him, you are facilitating his dependency upon you three... you three have to take the HARD LOVE attitude... and tell him the next time... he got himself in his problems he has to get himself out of them... and then you MUST TURN YOUR BACK ON HIM... and even if he shows the initiative to do the right thing... DO NOT help... he will learn then that all he has to do is make a good gesture and you all will help and he will then stop...
It has to be HIS efforts ALL THE WAY... and you have to be strong enough to let his wallow in his problems and not resuce him. If you rescue him... you make him dependent again... This has to be a family decision... his mother and father, your mother and father and you. You need to get together and talk this over and it may take a family counselor to teach his mother how not to rescue... after all it was her way of raising him that taught him how to use this way of living that allowed his to develop this irresponsible way of living. He was allowed to be lazy... and is still lazy and self-serving. He needs to grow up... and he may never grow up... and you will have to find a better life partner. Good Luck!