My partner and myself are about to separate, we have a 3 year old son and have no clue on what to do. Our relationship has been going down hill for a few years now, and has gone too far for any chance of ever getting back on track.
The problem starts after we sell our house we will be left no equity, as there is none. My partner has been a stay at home mum over the past three years, so she has no earnings. Her parents are not the most supportive, so they will not be much help. Our biggest fear is where will they live? I will pay over the stated amount of child support, as I don't to turn my back on my son, but other than that we have no clue as to what they will be entitled to. I will be back at my mothers on the sofa, but my partner (ex) unfortunately has not got that option.
Has anyone been through anything similar, and or does anyone have any good advice as to what to expect?
Thanks.
2006-09-30 05:24:25 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The most important thing is that your son has a roof over his head and as much stability as possible whilst you and your partner go through this.
You say that there will be no equity left when the house is sold. You have also said you will provide finacially for your son, (I have to tell you the CSA standard is around one fifth your salary.)
Your partner can claim tax credits and family allowance. She will also need to get a job to help support herself and your son.
You then need to sit down and do your sums and see if she can then afford to house herself and your son!
I have to add here that I am impartial and that I have both male and female friends who have gone through both amicable and very hostile divorces. So please do try to keep amicable and away from solicitors and courts.
Make sure you see your son on a regular basis and please do keep to it, because if things do get hairy in future, you will have shown that you do want to maintain regular contact with your son.
I do have to say that even when things start out ok in divorce and seperation,..... things can get messy, therefor if you do have to go to court in the end, you can try to apply for legal aid. If either or both of you get legal aid, you must be aware that this is only a loan and has to be paid back eventually! Its not free!
Are you also aware that if you are not married to each other, you only have parental responsibility for your son if you both registered him after 1 December 2003?... (see this link...... www.fnf.org.uk/pro.htm )
My best advice is to try to keep good communications going between all parties and that both of you think at all times of your son.
2006-09-30 07:17:03 · answer #1 · answered by monza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to get back your ex is https://tr.im/YWAdd
Here's the hard part: Pretend she never existed, like it was all a dream, don't call her, that will make you the smaller person, be the bigger person since you deserve better, what she did to you on Valentines Day was immature, especially after dating for four years. This person wasted allot of your time and through it out the window. Go out tonight, even it it is only yourself, don't drink and call or feel sorry for yourself, this will only cause you embarrassment! I know your hurting..This will eventually will go away in time. Today is not a good day for you and your emotions are spinning all over the place.
Please, whatever you do, don't answer her calls and don't call her. If she keeps calling, which she pro bally won't, don't return her call for 5 days. Make her sweat and DO Not get back together right away if you discuss this in 5 days. Tell her since she Broke up with you, you have done allot of thinking, and had the taste of "being single again" and you would like more time being "friends" for now, so you are sure you are making the right decision. Remember "She decided she didn't want to be with you" so the door is open for you to get out and see what you have been missing for four years. You honestly need to do this for yourself.
She doesn't know, but what she did was give you the best valentines day present you will ever get! A new start and a new beginning, use it to your advantage. You will look back on this and Thank God this happened now instead of 4 more wasted years of YOUR life. Today does suck, stay Strong and I promise you your life is going to be so much more exciting and you are going to be happy. If you continue to call and call her, she will think of you as needy and won't want you. She is going to rethink what she did to you today and will be hurt, if you act like you could care less. Girls always want the ones they can't have. That is who you are now to her. Let her suffer,realizing what a mistake she made. This will drive her crazy. Right now she is on cloud 9 thinking you will take her back, OH, is she stupid!
Your life isn't ruined, hers is..She lost someone special, and gave you a gift to let to live life and find someone you deserve. You are not getting back at her, your teaching her what an idiot she is and what she lost and what you gained without her. SO when You eventually talk to her, tell her thank you for what she did...
She will be hurt and you will be happy!
2016-07-20 02:28:20 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
children need both parents for proper growth, self formation and normalization. if you are so out of the mother and really care for the child, get a life policy for you for when you become past tense he may have a chance to climb the tree from the branches.
get an educational policy from the sale of the house for the child. those are the fundamentals that a child needs of you. then be a father figure, which you can be even from a distance.
otherwise this separation of yours will be cancelled very soon, when you find you in bed with the mother again and guilt takes over.
in africa the best medicine to a discondant wife is another wife. a child belongs to society. do your part from the societal level. child support should never cross your mind as painful.
2006-09-30 06:54:23 · answer #3 · answered by gatkirdavid 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately unless she has a good friend who can help her out, or your support check is enough to live on for a while. She will have to get government assistance. Food stamps, subsidized housing and monthly check. The housing could take months so they may have to stay in a shelter. She should be looking for work, any kind for the time being. If she gets govt help it will allow her to go back to school and receive free daycare until she finishes hopefully with a good job to support them. It would be good if you could work out a living situation together for a few months so that she could save some money and at least the shelter wouldn't be necessary. if that is at all possible
2006-09-30 05:39:02 · answer #4 · answered by tracystacy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume you are both in agreement. If that is the case then you need to be adults and continue to share your home providing the shared care of your son. Your sleeping arrragements depend on the number of rooms but if the sitting room is with its own door then one of you could use that. When your son goes to school his mother will be able to start work. You should encourage her to start studying for a career. The most important person is your child why should he be upset because his parents have lost romantic interest.
2006-09-30 09:00:20 · answer #5 · answered by di d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look for Jesus, only the Lord can direct you. Your probably thinkking who is this religious weirdo? We are all so caught up in the things of the World and we tend to forget where we came from and where we can go to find direction, help and comfort! God Loves you all, after all he did bless you with a baby! Children are the closest to an Angel here on earth. Trust me it's in the child's best interest and it will determine his or her future! I myself came from a single parent household I'm the oldest of two my younger baby brother is sitting in jail awaitting transfer upstate to serve a 18 year impossed sentence for Lord knows a crime he did not commit. It all goes back to the beginning if only our parents would of tried. Please I know your probably thinking " This is not something that can happen to us! " Well I really do hope not. The decesions our mother and the donor made, defined our future! I myself am a single parent of 2 a beautifull little boy 2 and a beautifull young little lady 11, although I still deal with my sons father. My daughter is the one who has had the worst experience! She said she never plans to get married, although I believe she's just too young to be making that type of decesions. Her heart already shows recentment. Well I hope I didn't bore you all with my issues. Just a thought for you to keep in mind. For your info My mom was blessed however! My Daddy is the most wonderfull man in this world! He's our support and the reason for us 3 to not give up! We plan to appeal and God Willing Justice will prevail. His sweat paid for 3 attorneys that ripped us off. My Daddy said " Theres more where that came from! A Chingarle I( translation to work! to pay for my sons freedom, were a family of fighters and no way do we plan to give up! He's not going to quit on us! That's what A Real Father is made of! God Blessed us with my Daddy after suffering for 17 years my Daddy met my mommy right before my 19th b-day! I am now 30. My wish is for my baby brother to come home soon! he's but a baby himself only 24 he himself has a beautifull little girl she is 10. What a future for her if we dont fight to bring her daddy home. All this because there was a Donor who once said No More There is really nothing or no way we can go back! Instead he gave up on us and well you know how my story goes! The Lord Will Guide You!
2006-09-30 05:52:31 · answer #6 · answered by ICE R 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She can claim housing benefit etc she can rent a private flat usually up to 220.00 per month for a 1 bedroom and housing will pay for this, she will also get unemployment and something for the child, problem is if she works she has to pay rent its a vicious circle, not worth working but what kind of life is that? either way she will make it, try talking while you still have a chance if only for the child's sake, good luck
2006-09-30 07:51:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont sell. Let her and your son stay there, you owe him that much. She will have to get a job to pay bills etc.
Dont take out any more loans against the property and u should be in a position to sell with profit in a few years.
Your son will have enough to cope with without being homeless as well. gl
2006-09-30 05:44:49 · answer #8 · answered by puffy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats how it goes when you split up. Your "partner" will have to get a job and a place to live, which means that your son will most likely be in daycare, which you will undoubtedly be paying most of. It will not be pleasant for anyone especially your child.
2006-09-30 05:30:51 · answer #9 · answered by NickyO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/WNph1
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
2016-04-22 23:45:16 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋