My partner and myself are about to separate, we have a 3 year old son and have no clue on what to do. Our relationship has been going down hill for a few years now, and has gone too far for any chance of ever getting back on track.
The problem starts after we sell our house we will be left no equity, as there is none. My partner has been a stay at home mum over the past three years, so she has no earnings. Her parents are not the most supportive, so they will not be much help. Our biggest fear is where will they live? I will pay over the stated amount of child support, as I don't to turn my back on my son, but other than that we have no clue as to what they will be entitled to. I will be back at my mothers on the sofa, but my partner (ex) unfortunately has not got that option.
Has anyone been through anything similar, and or does anyone have any good advice as to what to expect?
Thanks.
2006-09-30 05:05:21 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are many programs available for single parents. The most important person to remember in all this is your child. I was a stay at home for 12 years when my husband and I split. I had to go to work full time. I had to learn to be on my own. Fortunately, I had a wonderful support system in my family and they would pick my son up from school and make sure he was taken care of. She needs to adopt a plan. She has to learn to be self sufficient. Child support nor alimony lasts forever. She needs to either go back to school, most schools will help with daycare while the parent is in school, or get a full time job. Actually, she needs to go back to school and at least get a part-time job. She can apply for section 8 which will help with her housing. You two will have to work as a team to make sure your child is taken care of. Will your parents help? Both of you have to remember everything has to be to the benefit of the child. You can expect some trying times though. Please make sure that you two have tried everything possible to make it work. Are you prepared to how you are going to feel if and when she remarries one day? I hope you realize that since she has custody whoever she ends up with is probably going to be spending more time with your son than you will. Of course unless you can see him everyday and spend time with him. How are you going to feel when you see her, your child and another man at the grocery store? Little things can hurt. These are scenarios that I know my friends have had issues with. My son is closer to his step-dad than to his real dad. He prefers his step-dad to his real dad, and we have only been together 4 years. It is just that his step dad has spent more time with him, done more with him and is here for him when his real dad isn't due to work and other family commitments. There is just so much to consider. Co-parenting can work. It just takes allot of work and allot of maturity.
2006-09-30 05:34:33 · answer #1 · answered by buckking_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there's no equity in the house, why sell it? If your wife has been a stay-at-home Mom, she is probably entitled to a period of "rehabilitative alimony." You could pay the house payment for a couple of years in lieu of this alimony, and your house would be building up equity in the meantime. Then when you sell the house, you'll get back some of the money that you paid out in alimony.
Staying in the house will probably make the transition easier on your son as well, and you'll have the peace of mind of knowing that he is in a good place.
2006-09-30 05:11:19 · answer #2 · answered by Yogini108 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep the house for her and your child a continue to pay the mortgage and support your son help her with child care so she can get a job,that's the only option you can't throw them out!if this doesn't seem reasonable to you then get therapy for your marriage a really try to be a good husband take your family to church fight for your marriage all young marriages go thru stuff it will pass trust me been there done that I'm going on 13 years in my marriage and we've tried splitting up several times but that's the easy way out a real man will challenge to keep his family ,you do love your wife your just in a hard spot in your marriage work it out please.romance her,love her she doesn't have family like you do she is feeling very insecure she does love you and need you.good luck
2006-09-30 05:15:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
toddlers prefer the two mothers and fathers for suitable growth, self formation and normalization. in case you're so out of the mum and surely look after the youngster, get a life coverage for you for once you become previous annoying he would have of undertaking to climb the tree from the branches. get an academic coverage from the sale of the homestead for the youngster. those are the basics that a baby desires of you. then be a father determine, which you would be even from a distance. otherwise this separation of yours would be cancelled very quickly, once you come across you in mattress with the mum back and guilt takes over. in africa the superb drugs to a discondant spouse is yet another spouse. a baby belongs to society. do your area from the societal point. baby help would desire to by no potential circulate your recommendations as painful.
2016-10-15 09:13:59 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the state, you live in. You can get a divorce, live in the same house and make it public knowledge that you are not married. Put a sign up in the yard, or on the house.
Continue to live together in seperate bedrooms until, you guys are more financially stable to move apart.
You may even have equity in the house by then.
You will have to consult a lawyer in your state.
2006-09-30 05:21:44 · answer #5 · answered by Seeking 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure that your marriage can't be saved? Sounds to me like you still care for your partner. There is nothing that you both can't overcome if you are both willing to fight to stay together. My marriage has withstood an affair, and alcoholism. My wife was not willing to loose (at the time) 7 years of marriage, she forgave me and helped me overcome the alcohol. We have been happily married now for 15 years and I haven't cheated or drank ever again thanks to her help and forgiveness. I hope the best for all three of you, Good Luck!
2006-09-30 05:47:02 · answer #6 · answered by Archangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first husband left me for another woman. I had no choice but to move on. I had to get some assistance for awhile. Found my own place,learned how to drive,and started working. Got off of assistance and learned how to live on my own. She needs to build up her confidence and try hard she can do it. Money is the root of all evil if that was all that broke up the marriage then that is rather sad. When you get married you marry for richer or for poorer.
2006-09-30 05:28:06 · answer #7 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should help her look into finding an apt where she & your son can live or maybe take custody of your son until she can find a job and suitable daycare ... also help her find out about benefits like food stamps, and cash assistance, since she's been a stay at home mom she may not be able to find work right away. good luck to you both
2006-09-30 05:09:14 · answer #8 · answered by emnari 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She can go to social service for assistance, also she can sign up for food stamps, also she can sigh up for section 8 housing. Will her parents take her and your son in? or may be another family member? She has to go and see what services she is entitled to.
2006-09-30 05:12:06 · answer #9 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex will have to apply for government assistance. This will at least help her get a place of her own.
Then, she's going to have to go out and get work. You will pay to help the child but it is up to her to help herself.
2006-09-30 05:08:48 · answer #10 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋